Bakudo X: Life is a Game
by RebukeX7
Summary: Crack with plot! 2nd in the LIAG series can be read alone! What if instead of Ichigo learning the Final Getsuga he learned a Technique that would make living life a game. Ichigo X femZangetsu Harem Time Travel!
1. This is some bullshit

**Disclaimer: I don't own bleach if I did Orihime would stop healing the enemy.**

**(Warning for those of you new to my life is a game series you should know that my spell check is broken, but don't worry I am an OK self checker and should be getting another computer later.)**

Chapter 1: This is some bullshit.

**~Inside Ichigo's soul~**

"I will not teach you the **Final Getsuga Tenshou** Ichigo…" Tensa Zangetsu drawled while looking at his wielder with a deadpan expression. Ichigo could only look at his zanpakuto in a mixture of disbelief and anger.

"That's bull shit! I just beat you so you _HAVE_ to teach me! If you don't that means you lied, and in some twisted way means I lied to myself and that's just plain fucked up." Ichigo said as Tensa Zangetsu just shrugged.

"Don't worry Ichigo I have another technique that will work just as well…" Tensa began before he was cut off by an irate Ichigo.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me this before! This could have saved me two hours of getting my ass kicked by you!" Ichigo yelled as Tensa glared at him.

"I have a very good reason for kicking your ass!"

"Oh _PLEASE_ enlighten me!"

"It's obvious. It's because you made me look bad in front of Grimmjow's Zanpakuto." Tensa explained with no little amount of annoyance as Ichigo's eyes grew wide in disbelief.

"I won that fight you ass!"

"Yeah, _after_ the he beat your ass all throughout Karakura town. I mean seriously, did you see how many times he punched you in your face? I lost count at 10." Came the despondent response of Tensa.

"Bu-"

"No buts, your ass was kicked so bad even I began to feel some of the pain."

"ARGGH JUST SHUT UP! People are dying as we speak! So if you want teach me the move before _WE_ get wasted as well, now would be a good time." Ichigo said as Tensa sighed.

"Fine but you're going to have to die again for it to work." Tensa explained.

"Why?"

"Because it's a sacrificial Kido." This caused Ichigo to gape at his Zanpakuto

"Bullshit! I suck at memorizing and I'm pretty sure all Kido involve some long ass chant that I personally do not have the time or patience for!" Tensa just shook his head at his master.

"*Sigh* Just follow my instructions, it doesn't even have an incantation."

"It better not."

"Ok so this is what you do…"

**~Outside world 2 hours later~**

Isshin was looking at his son in horror.

"What the hell Ichigo! It's taking you too long and Aizen is almost-"

**BOOM**

"Fuck…there goes Karakura…DAMNIT ICHIGO! HURRY UP! If you get it now we can stop him before he reaches the spirit King and-"

_**BOOM**_

"…and there goes the king…good job son you've killed us all." Isshin said while shaking his head. Suddenly Ichigo began to wake up, he had longer hair and his eyes showed a fierceness never before seen on even the most powerful Shinigami.

"Oh _WOOOOW_ NOW you wake up? Seriously? Well congradu-fucking-lations!" Isshin said with no small amount of sarcasm as Ichigo briefly glanced at him before burying the blade of Tensa Zangetsu to the hilt in his stomach.

"And now you take the cowards way out…smartest thing I've seen you do since you were born! In fact I'll follow suit!" Before Isshin could commit suicide he was cut off by what this son did next.

*Clap*

"**Bakudo : X: Life is a Game!"** Ichigo yelled as the world turned white.

**BOOOOM**

And then the world exploded.

**~In a room of White~**

We see a boy with white hair, white eyes, and tan skin sitting on a chair with a smirk.

"Well…looks like it is time for me to break out my Bleach trophies, hopefully he is as interesting as the last one."

**~With Ichigo~**

Ichigo looked around him in awe as he found himself in a very familiar position looking at a _VERY_ familiar hollow; in fact it was the first hollow he had ever fought.

"Hey! Are you listening to me?" Ichigo snapped his head toward the sound of the voice, and couldn't help but gape at the person it belonged to. He was staring at a wounded Rukia who was holding out her Zanpakuto to him.

"Oh hey you… mind reminding me what we are doing right now it kind of slipped my mind.' Ichigo said sheepishly as Rukia face-faulted.

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU FORGET? I TOLD YOU ONE MINUTE AGO!" Rukia screamed at Ichigo who chuckled." *sigh* Fine you idiot let me explain more clearly…you see this blade?" At his nod she continued. "Well it's going through YOUR stomach. Still with me?" Another nod. "And then _YOU_ will get your own blade to kill _THAT _thing over there." Rukia explained as if she was talking to a toddler.

"Ok but let me do something first ok?" Rukia just gaped at him "THANKS!" Ichigo finished before bringing his hands together.

*_CLAP*_

**~Flash back~**

"Ok so I'm going to relive my life from the point that I got you, but how is that going to help?" Ichigo asked Tensa who seemed to gain a dangerous glint in his eye.

"The Kido comes with a passive ability called **Action Replay-**"

"Sweet so I can control time?"

"-no and interrupt me again and I'm ramming this blade, pre-**Bankai** of course, up your ass." Tensa said while Ichigo went pale. "Now as I was saying with the ability, whether you have reiryoku or not, you can manipulate the reality of you and those around you to a certain degree."

"To what degree?"

"The ways to manipulate reality will be listed for you."

"Uhh…_LISTED?_"

"You'll see." Tensa said with a smirk.

**~Flash Back End~**

_Hp:9999 check_

_Reiryoku: Infinite check_

_Max Speed Check_

_Max Strength Check_

_Max Luck Check_

_Max Dexterity Check_

_Zangetsu post time skip: unlocked Check_

_Max Charm Check_

_Max Intelligence Check_

_Max Defense Check_

_All abilities of Player 1 (Ichigo) Unlocked? Check_

_Are these cheats ok?__"Oh…My…God…" __Y-yes_

_*Clap*_

"AHHHHH THIS IS THE SHIT!" Ichigo yelled as he felt the various improvements added to his being.

"_Crap did he snap under pressure?"_ Rukia thought as she watched Ichigo scream for no apparent reason. "You ok?"

"Heh… I am MORE than ok; now stab me so we can own that ugly bastard!" And with that Rukia jammed the blade through his stomach.

*Boom*

"_What the fuck he just jacked all of my powers…"_ Rukia thought wide-eyed as she watched Ichigo leave the smoke, but as she looked closer she couldn't believe her eyes. _"Did his hair get longer? And-holy shit that's a big sword!"_

Ichigo was now standing with a different version of Zangetsu than the one he was used to, and when he looked down he could see that his uniform had changed as well.(**Just look at how Ichigo looks after he regains his powers after the time-skip)** "_Huh not bad ,but come on Zangetsu you need to go on a diet you are bigger than normal."_ Ichigo tried to joke.

"_**Fuck you Ichigo"**_

**BGM:Activated: Bleach Ost: Invasion**

"_This song is AWESOME! I Have to find a way to get it!"_ Ichigo thought before shaking his head. He then looked down the street and glared at the hollow in front of him and raised Zangetsu high above his head.

"_What's that idiot planning to do from that far away, throw the sword?'_ Rukia thought as she watched Ichigo in confusion.

"**Getsuga…Tenshou"** And with that Rukia and the hollow's vision went blue.

***BOOOOM***

**BGM: End**

"_Yeah… I can get used to this."_ Ichigo thought as he watched everything get decimated in front of him.

**Bronze Trophy: Your first hollow: Unlocked (Player must kill one hollow)**

**Character unlocked: Rukia Kuchiki**

**+700,000 yen**

**~In the White Room~**

The game master watched the destruction with a smile "_Interesting indeed."_

**AN: And this is the first chapter of the Bleach story! Also for you new readers don't worry there is only one OC and he will barely get any scenes whatsoever as a fellow reader of bleach fics I know how annoying it can be with OCs hogging the story. Read Naruto: life is a Game if you wanna get a sample of how the OC fits into the story.**

**An2: I was debating when to release this before I decided to let people get a feel of it early.**

**An 3: Read and Review**


	2. Time to troll

**Disclaimer: if I owned bleach…Tatsuki would have a bigger part.**

**(Warnings: Spell check broken, but my self check is awesome.)**

Chapter 2: Time to Troll.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!" Rukia yelled at Ichigo who smirked.

"My **Shikai**."

"BULLSHIT ! HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS!"

"Quit yelling you'll wake the dead with that voice."

**~In the Seireitei~**

"**ACHOO!"**

**~Back with Ichigo~**

"Well, see ya later!" And with that Ichigo went back into his house unable to wait for the chaos he was about to bring. Rukia just sat on the ground, still wounded, in disbelief.

"_That ass just took my powers and left… I feel used."_ Rukia thought with a sweatdrop.

**~In Ichigo's Room~**

"**Soo you're just gonna leave her there?" **Zangetsu asked his master in disbelief.

"Pay back for kicking me in my face… shit ain't cool. Besides I'll see her at school tomorrow." Ichigo said as he got ready to lie down.

"***Gasp*"**

"What is it Zangetsu?" Ichigo asked surprised as he's never heard Zangetsu gasp before.

"**It's makes sense!"**

"What makes sense?"

"**Your new attitude! The intelligence and power boosts have turned you into a…a..."**

"A what!" Ichigo asked in fear of his humanity.

"**A troll…"** Zangetsu whispered in morbid fascination as Ichigo face faulted.

"Just go to sleep Zangetsu..or whatever it is you do."

"**I watch you in your sleep."**

"…"

"**..."**

"I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear that. We have to wake up early tomorrow I have to get my revenge before I start trying to save the future of the world."

"**Revenge?"**

"Yes against everyone that has ever made me look bad!" Ichigo said with a chuckle before going to sleep. Zangetsu couldn't help the chill he got up his spine.

**~Early the next morning~**

"Ok Zangetsu, first things first. We have to go to a grocery store." Ichigo said in complete seriousness.

"…**Why?"**

"Because life is now a video game right?" Ichigo sounded like he was talking to a toddler, which irked Zangetsu to no end.

"_**YES." **_Zangetsu answered through gritted teeth.

"Well if I remember anything from RPG's, it's the world saving shops, and what better shop than the grocery store?" Ichigo said as he could almost _feel_ Zangetsu gape.

"**That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."**

"You're about to feel dumb as hell in a few minutes."

**~10 minutes later inside Rebuke's food service~**

**BGM: Get Smart (AN: Oh the irony)**

"_They have awesome shopping music here." _Ichigo thought impressed. "Let's see here, Apple juice heals 20% of my Reiryoku so I'll get like 10 of these for now…" Zangetsu was silent the entire time.

"_**Holy shit…he was right!"**_

"Huh this is weird coffee restores 100% of my stamina I'm going to get at least 10 of these."

Zangetsu just gaped some more.

**BGM: End**

**~6 minutes later outside of the store~**

*Clap*

_EXP X 256? Check!_

_All Key Items? Check!_

_Yen X 256? Check!_

_Are these cheats ok? YES!_

*Clap*

"All right 4 hours till school starts… time to grind!" Ichigo said before opening his key items pocket and pulling out a marble, which he then swallowed.

**Bronze Trophy: Runaway Body: Unlocked!**

**Support Character Unlocked: Kon**

**+ 700,000 Yen**

"What the hell is going on?" Kon asked from inside Ichigo's body. Kon turned incredibly pale when he felt a blade against his neck.

"Listen and listen well. I'm not going to hurt or destroy you, but I will if you try to hijack my body. Comprende? " Ichigo growled as he pressed Zangetsu closer. Kon nodded frantically. "Good now I want you to follow me, but stay out of the way of any battle I may be in, ok?" Another nod. "Good! Now welcome to the family!" Ichigo said, attitude doing a complete 180.

"W-w-w-where are we going?" Kon asked in fear.

"Grinding."

**~2 hours later~**

**EXP + 80,000,000**

**Yen+ 100,000,000**

**Ichigo Kurosaki: Level 80.**

"That was a good workout eh Kon?" Ichigo asked turning towards is incredibly pale body, which nodded dumbly. "Well give me back my body schools about to start."

Kon did so without any hesitation.

"_He might be insane, but he's an ok guy."_ Kon thought happily as he left the body.

**~1:30 minutes later at school~**

"_Son of a bitch… I should have paid attention to where I was fighting. I had completely left Karakura town and now I'm late!" _ Ichigo thought pissed off as he walked in to his classroom looking for Rukia as he knew she would be in his class. "_Now that I think about it she is a wanted criminal or something now that I have her powers… so who the hell told her where I attended school?"_ Ichigo just shook his head as he kept walking.

"Kurosaki-kun! Good morning!" A voiced greeted him that made him smile.

"_There's my awesome medic...just wish she didn't heal the enemy so much." _Ichigo waved to her before taking his seat.

"Oh so your Kurosaki Ichigo!" a familiar voice said from next to him. Turning around he saw Rukia smiling at him and extending her hand.

"Oh I see you met Rukia." Mizuiro said as he approached Ichigo. "She just transferred here today."

Looking at her hand he saw a message written on her hand.

_Make a scene and I'll kill you._

"_So sad and I was just going to pretend we just met, but now that you threatened me I'll HAVE to make a scene."_ Ichigo thought in mock pity as Zangetsu rolled his eyes inside of Ichigo's soul.

"Now why are you acting like a stranger Rukia-chan?" Ichigo said shocking the hell out of the room. "I mean you snuck into my room last night and basically tied me down, I believe we are MORE than acquainted when I think about all of the things we did. If memory serves me right you were screaming and I recall you gaping at the size of my _sword."_ Ichigo was referring to Zangetsu, but the double meanings in all of his words had the entire class red-faced including Rukia who knew what he was doing.

"You ba-" Rukia was cut off as ichigo side-stepped a punch from an upset Keigo.

"You mad bro?" Ichigo asked smugly as Keigo grew angrier.

"YOU BASTARD HOW DARE YOU GET LAID BEFORE ME!" Keigo roared as Ichigo chuckled.

"Cause I'm better than you…duh." Keigo started sputtering as Ichigo laughed loudly. Ichigo then turned toward Rukia gestured her to follow him.

**~In the Hallway~**

Ichigo bloacked a kick aimed at his head before looking down at a pissed off Rukia impassively. "I was under the impression you wanted to talk to me about something?" Rukia just took a deep breath before beginning.

"I want you to take my place until my powers return."

"Ok." Ichigo said before walking off.

"…that's it…just like that?" Rukia asked in disbelief as Ichigo shrugged

"Meh this morning iv'e killed a shitload of hallows and other _things_." Ichigo finished with a shiver making Rukia confused.

"What _things."_ Rukia asked as Ichigo paled.

**~Flash beack 2 hours~**

Ichigo finished another hollow that was attacking a blonde haired girl who had blue eyes in a alleyway. She was in his schools uniform…which made no sense because he was sure he wasn't in Karakura anymore, but he'd worry about that later.

"Ok time for you to go to the Seireitei." Before he could cast the **Konso **she screamed at him.

"Wait Ichigo don't you remember me?" She asked as Ichigo raised an eyebrow.

"Nope." Before he could finish it again she yelled _again._

"It's me your childhood friend, Marian Suzette, who you conveniently don't remember. Don't you want to make me a Shinigami through a process you don't even know how to do…" She began as Ichigo gaped.

"…the fuck…" Ichigo muttered in a disturbed voice

**BGM: Bleach: Fight to the Death**

"Come on Ichigo-kun can't you see it now? We can spend the entire time worried about training my powers and not worry about Aizen or the winter war at all!" Now Ichigo was getting scared.

"Get the fuck away bitch!" Ichigo swung his sword, causing a blue wave of energy to go after the girl in front of him. The blast split her in half, but she didn't die she just dragged her self closer and closer to Ichigo.

"**C**_**ome On IcHiGo don't You WanT to be FRIENDS!" **_ Mary screamed at a terrified Ichigo

"Get the Fuck AWAY **GETSUGA TENSHOU!" **Ichigo screamed nuking the entire alley. Ichigo looked around in panic he saw nothing of the girl anymore, but he nearly fainted when he saw his reflection in a nearby piece of glass.

He had red lipstick on his cheek.

Falling down after a battle with something incredibly scarier than Aizen he heard a voice.

**Mary Sue 1 of 10 killed**

**Exp+ 10,000,000**

"Yo GM what the fuck was that!" Ichigo screamed in frightened voice.

**Sorry what you just witnessed was a Mary Sue 100 of them had slipped into the game when you used the Kido. For some reason they believe that they fit into the story.**

"The fucked up thing was I didn't even _care_ about her existence, but she just didn't make _SENSE, _I mean at least follow the plot. Now look at Kon he's crying in a corner." Ichigo said pointing to his body that was in a fetal position. "What happened to the other ninety?"

**For some reason they were trying to become part of squad 10 so I just killed them all in one spot.**

"Poor Toshiro…"

**Yea I had to wipe his mind the poor bastard was crying so much...**

"Where were the other captains?"

**It happened at night and nobody witnessed what happened except for Hitsugaya**

"I will avenge him and kill the other 9, the Espada can wait." Ichigo said with a glare.

**Don't go after them they'll come for you**

"You can't expect to wait and do nothing!" Ichigo roared

**I'm so sorry**

**BGM: END**

**~Flash Back: END~**

"On the way back I ran into a hallow that was attacking Orihime's brother, so I took him out." Ichigo finished explaining to a deathly pale Rukia.

"My God…" She whispered in horror as Ichigo nodded his head solemnly.

"I was so tired from the fight I had to drink all of my coffee to get my stamina back, it was horrible…" Ichigo shivered as Rukia hugged him.

"Don't worry you big idiot it'll be ok."

**~A few hours later at Ichigo's Room~**

"You never explained to me why coffee increases stamina. If the Seireitei knew that the human world had such a great item it could save countless of lives on the battlefield!" Rukia exclaimed to Ichigo as sat up from his bed and looked at her.

"Yea and it's good, want to try some?" Ichigo asked Rukia, who was confused.

"But didn't you say you used it all?"

"Yea but I have this." Ichigo said pulling out a CD confusing Rukia." At the store it said that it makes coffee."

**~Flash Back~**

Ichigo was looking at the back a CD with a raised eyebrow

_Marvin Gaye: Let's get it on._

_Is your relationship lacking intimacy? Play this and you and your lover will be making "__**Coffee"**__ in no time…if you get what I'm saying. Giggitty_

_~Q_

"_This is so stupid why would they have this next to the coffee? This is like unlimited coffee. After I go home I can just make my own and never buy any from here again. I'm such a genius."_ Ichigo thought as he put the CD in his shopping cart.

"**AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH"**

"_What's so funny Zangetsu?"_

"**Your face when you play that CD."**

**~Flash Back: End~**

Ichigo went to his speaker and put the CD in.

**BGM: Marvin Gaye: Let's get it on**

"_Well this is weird, where's my coffee? I think I was scammed."_ Ichigo thought annoyed as he turned to apologize to Rukia…

…Who was undressing.

"W-w-w-what are you doing Rukia! Why are you undressing?" Ichigo asked as he turned away from her with a large blush.

"I-i-I don't know, its theses lyrics they are getting to me." And with that Rukia leaped on to Ichigo, who would later make Rebuke's Food Service his new shop to buy everything from. Forever.

**~Outside his Room~**

We see an unconscious Yuzu and Isshin who were eavesdropping after they thought they heard a female voice in his room. Karin walked by and looked at the two on the floor while shaking her head.

"_Idiots."_

**Chapter End.**

**AN1: I decided to release this early because I was bored.**

**AN2: The early chapters are going to be hard to write because I don't even remember the beginning of bleach so my accuracy about small details might be off ( Example where people stand or where they get stabbed.)**

**AN3: Tell me what you think and when you review remember that this is crack, so please be about something that MATTERS.**

**AN3: Read and Review.**

**~RebukeX7**


	3. WTF

**Disclaimer if I owned Bleach Rukia would have noticed a marble with the power to destroy the world in her body.**

**(Warning splling/grammar check is busted)**

Chapter 3:W…T…F

**~Early In the Morning~**

**BGM: Bleach OST: Comical World**

*SLAM*

Isshin kicked his son's door down and made a running leap for his son's bed.

"WAKE UP ICHIGOOOO!'" Ichigo's mentally insane father yelled while attempting to drop kick his son.

*BAM*

**C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!**

...Only to be met with _two_ feet to the face.

"WHAT THE HELL DAD? LEARN HOW TO FUCKING KNOCK!" Ichigo yelled while covering his privates with a pillow as Rukia did the same with the bed sheet. Jumping back to his feet Isshin fixed his nose and glared at his son.

"You think you can beat me? You are a thousand years to early my boy!" Isshin yelled and proceeded to fight with his son, who could only use one arm for obvious reasons, as Rukia gaped.

"WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING?" Karin roared as she ran into the room with a sleepy Yuzu in tow. "AND WHO THE HELL IS THAT?" Karin asked while pointing to Rukia, suddenly, the entire room stared at the petite bringer of death.

"OH MASAKI OUR SON HAS BECOME A MAN!" Isshin exclaimed with tears while pulling a poster of his wife out of, what everyone in the room assumed, his ass and hugging it.

*Thump*

That was Yuzu who finally noticed what was happening around her. Karin just shook her head while picking up her twin.

"It's too early for this…I'm going back to bed." Karin muttered before going back to her and Yuzu's room.

"Oh Masaki! If only you were here to see our grandchildren grow up!" Isshin cried as Ichigo gained an eye-twitch, not unlike Rukia's, and threw his dad out of the window.

**BGM: END**

"So… "Rukia began as she began to put on her clothes

"Wanna forget about last night?" Ichigo asked while trying to cover up a blush as Rukia smirked.

"Atleast until tonight anyway…"

*Thump*

That was Ichigo…

"**He just got laid…how the hell is he still a prude?"** Zangetsu thought in morbid fascination.

"*Sigh* Come on, get up and get dressed!" Rukia said while kicking the downed Ichigo in his side.

**-2 minutes later-**

*Riinggg*

"What's that?" Rukia asked as Ichigo put on a coat.

"Hmm out that was my supply alarm. I set it so that I could wake up early and get supplies from the grocery store." Ichigo said while Rukia quirked an eye brow at him skeptically.

"What the hell do you need from a grocery store?"

"I'll see when we get there, they do have _EVERYTHING." _Ichigo said with a faraway look as Rukia chuckled.

"I doubt they have anything that would help against Hollows." Rukia said smugly, not noticing Ichigo's smirk.

"You'll see."

**~Rebuke's Food Service~**

**BGM: Bleach OST: Get Smart**

Ichigo was walking down an aisle with a gaping Rukia behind him.

"Let's see what I need." Ichigo began as he pulled out a list.

Restock on coffee

Stuffed Lion plushy for Kon

Apple Juice

Whet stones (So Zangetsu will stop nagging me)

Bakudo X Strategy guide

And a Surgery for Rukia

**-Five minutes later-**

Ichigo and Rukia walked to the clerk, who was a white haired teen with tanned skin. He had a Black suit on, with a white tie, and black sunglasses. On the tie was an **"X7"** embroidered with a scarlet thread.

"What can I do for you man?" The clerk asked while closing his magazine that was titled "Coffee monthly."

"Yeah first I'll need that book over there." Ichigo said while pointing to a pitch black book that had a picture of him in **Final Getsuga** stabbing Aizen, the clerk handed him the book with a smile. "Next I'll need a lion plushie." Again the clerk handed him the desired item. "Finally…

*SLAM*

"…A back alley surgery for my friend here." Ichigo said after slamming Rukia's face on the counter.

"…**Why?"**

"_Cause I'm going to change something with that fucking marble, so I can deal with Aizen quicker._" Ichigo answered Zangetsu as the clerk stood up.

"IZANAMI! Go get my tools! I need to perform a surgery real fast!"

"_**Where are you going to do it Master?"**_ A voice asked as the clerk sighed in annoyance.

"The counter, where else?"

**BGM: END**

**~1 hour later Outside of the store.~**

"**I can't believe you did that…"** Zangetsu muttered in disbelief as Rukia began to wake up on Ichigo's back.

"Meh all I did was rig the **Hyogyoku** so that I can troll Aizen…speaking of trolling…" Ichigo trailed off while setting Rukia down on her feet.

*Clap*

_Player 2: Full restore? Check!_

*Clap*

"OK Rukia since we have nothing to do today, we are going to troll…Hard." Ichigo said before leaving his body. "By the way leave your body you should have gotten your powers back by now."

"It's going to take more than a few days…" Rukia began as Ichigo sighed.

"If you have your powers back you have to take art lessons deal?" Ichigo asked with a smirk as Rukia rolled her eyes.

"Whatever-*BAM*" Rukia could only look in disbelief as she was forced from her gigai, courtesy of her glove…that was on Ichigo's hand.

"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY GLOVE!" Rukia shrieked as Ichigo laughed.

"I took during round two when we were in my closet last night." Ichigo explained while Rukia's facewas a very nice shade of red.

"That _WAS _a good fucking round…pun completely intended." Rukia said while her eyes glazed over.

"Now come on! We got people and Hollows to pwn." _"First target Rukia: Complete." _Ichigo thought as Zangetsu muttered something about orange haired idiots.

"But what if we run into Mary Sues?"

"Then we run and never look back." Ichigo said with complete sincerity.

**~5 Hours later~**

**EXP+ 100,000,000**

**Ichigo: Lv 99**

**Rukia: Lv 99**

**Yen+ 800,000,000,000**

"So you going to explain why you killed all those people, or am I just going to have to ask?" Rukia deadpanned as Ichigo Chuckled sheepishly.

**~Flash Back Bount Hideout~**

Ichigo and Rukia landed in front of a castle with a determined expression on their faces…

…well Ichigo's was, Rukia was just confused as fuck.

**BGM: Bleach OST: Number 1**

"Rukia stay out of the way when we enter…this is personal…" Ichigo commanded as he kicked the door down scaring the occupants in the hideout. "SOUL SOCIETY PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!" Ichigo roared while holding out his badge in front of him as Rukia gaped at him.

"On what grounds…_Officer?"_ Kariya asked while walking towards Ichigo.

"On the grounds that every non-soul reaper in this room sucks ass!" Ichigo yelled again while pulling out Zangetsu.

"_**PLEASE kick their asses…"you forgot how to use bankai" What kind of bullshit was that?"**_ Zangetsu asked ticked off.

"I'm sorry to inform you _Substitute_, but if you can't count you are sadly outnumbered…" Kariya began with a smirk, pulling out his blade, as the rest of the bounts raised their weapons.

"OBJECTION!" Ichigo yelles as Zangetsu began to glow blue. "The music is playing! I can't lose…**Getsuga…"**

"_That's the most power I've seen him used all day, these people must have really pissed him off…I'm getting the fuck out of here." _Rukia thought beforejumping out of a nearby window confusing the hell out of the Bounts.

"…**TENSHOU!"** And the world went blue…

…And the bounts knew _PAIN._

**-In another world-**

"ACHOO!"

"Bless you Nagato."

**-Back to Ichigo-**

**BGM: END**

"_Fuck! I used too much power and broke Zangetsu!"_ Ichigo thought worriedly as he looked at his broken blade, ignoring the smoking bodies around him. Ichigo searched frantically through his **Key items** pouch before pulling out a brochure and opening it.

_Restoring your Zanpakuto By Mayuri Kurotsuchi_

"_I wonder why Renji was blushing when he gave this to me. This seems like it would be very helpful." _ Ichigo thought before reading the first step.

_First visualize you Zanpakuto spirt how you WANT them to be…"_

**~Flash Back End~**

"I saved us hours of bullshit by killing those noobs, you should thank me!" Ichigo defended to Rukia as they headed towards the school. _" And Zangetsu! I said I was sorry! I fixed you didn't I?_ Ichigo winced at his bad choice of words.

"**Yeah, you ORANGE-HAIRED BASTARD! YOU FIXED ME ALL RIGHT!" **Came the _feminine _roar of Zangetsu.

"_I just followed the guide!"_

"**Why the fuck did you do the steps that added a sex-change!"**

"_I was in a panic, my best bud just DIED…kinda… and I was bringing you back."_

"**Just you wait you ass whole when you go to sleep tonight I'm transforming into Ogichi and kicking your ass!"** And with that Zangetsu severed their communication link. Once the link was severed Ichigo smirked.

"_I got you back for kicking my ass instead of teaching me the fucking _**Final Gestuga **_fufufu Second target: Zangetsu: Check." _ Ichigo suddenly broke out into an evil laughter while entering his school, scaring the fuck out of Rukia and everybody else in hearing range.

**AN1: I released this early because the feedback for this fic is amazing seriously it's like twice my Naruto fic O-o.**

**AN2: What other insanity will come next?**

**AN3: Read and Review!**

**~RebukeX7**


	4. Payback is a Bitch

**Disclaimer if I owned Bleach… Yamamoto's Bankai would be revealed already.**

**(Warnings: Spell check/grammar check fail.)**

Chapter 4: Payback is a bitch.

**~That Night~**

**-Ichigo's Soul-**

**BGM: Bleach Ost: Treachery**

Ichigo was pinned to a wall by a large white and black blade as woman landed on the blade. She appeared to be 15 with pasty white hair and skin. Her Sclera were black and her irises were a frightening yellow, she was currently glaring at our orange haired hero. Ichigo coughed up some blood as the woman kneeled down and placed a finger on the blade's handle as it glowed.

"**Give me one reason why I shouldn't release this Getsuga…" **Ogichi snarled as Ichigo smirked.

"Because that's suicide…you wouldn't want to kill yourself now would you?" Ichigo asked as Ogichi glared at him causing the white blade to glow brighter.

"**I lived a good life…"**

"You're like 1 fucking year old!" Ichigo reminded her while coughing up some more blood.

"**Pshh…whatever…Any last words?"**

"Yeah…I make a good looking woman, and if I'm going to die then I won't regret THIS!" Ichigo roared before grabbing the woman's left breast making her jump away from him in alarm.

"**Boy…you must have balls the size of basketballs…" **Ogichi began as she raised her blade at Ichigo, who mirrored her movements.

"You would know!" Ichigo said as he placed both hands on his Zangetsu's hilt as Ogichi did the same.

"**I'm almost going to regret this King, but you know a man has his pride." **Ogichi stated while gathering energy.

"Shouldn't you be saying "Hell hath no fury like an angry woman"?" Ichigo asked while tilting his head at Ogichi, who was now more pissed off than earlier.

"**OH THAT'S IT YOU BASTARD!" **Ogichi roared while pulling out as much energy as she could, as Ichigo did the same. "**LETS END THIS!"**

"Shame and I thought we were finally getting along." Ichigo said in false sorrow.

"**BAN-"** Ogichi began as her blade glowed a fierce red

"**KAI!"** Ichigo finished while firing an incredibly large beam of blue destruction, which collided with its red counterpart.

***BOOOM***

**BGM: END**

**~In the Morning~**

**Platinum Trophy: Twilight Fangs: Unlocked**

**Avatar: Vasto-Lorde Ichigo: Unlocked**

Ichigo woke up next to a sleeping Rukia with a groan.

"_Oh I feel like shit, but at least I won."_ Ichigo thought victoriously as he got ready for the day. _"Now what's on my to do list today?"_ Ichigo asked while flipping to the journal section of his study guide.

_**Konso**__ that fucking bird of Chad's first chance I get._

_Buy more coffee_

_Troll Kisuke's_

"_Today is going to be interesting."_ Ichigo said while leaving the house.

**~Hours later At Urahara Shop~**

We now see a very annoyed Ichigo and Rukia standing in front of the shop.

"Where the hell is that bastard?" Ichigo asked pissed off as Rukia face-palmed.

"I honestly don't know. He's got some nerve considering we can get all of his items for 50% less at RFS." Rukia stated with an eye twitch

**-Cut scene-**

**BGM: Bleach: Get Smart**

"Hey you heroes!" The clerk of RFS said while standing outside of his store." We just got funded so we are now opening a shop in any major place of action for all you world savers out there!" The clerk continued as random women started dancing to the beat. "Stop being dumb and get smart! At Rebuke's Food Service.

**BGM:END**

**-Cut scene: End-**

"_That gives me an idea!"_ Ichigo thought before searching through his pockets, and pulling out a spray can.

"**ICHIGO DON'T!"** Zangetsu shrieked to her master.

"_Finally talking to me again?"_ Ichigo asked exasperated.

"**Listen now is not the time, but do not use that spray!"**

"_Why not? Yoruichi is in her cat form 90% of the time. This is perfect for locating her._"

"**FOR FUCKS SAKE I KNOW YOU GOT AN INTELLIGENCE BOOST! THE FUCKING BOTTLE SAYS PUSSY MAGNET!"** Zangetsu roared at her master.

"_Duh I can read. It says it will attract "Pussy", which is another word for cat, to me at a 100% success rate. If I put this on Yoruichi will come here and we can talk to her about helping us trap __**that**__ Hollow."_ For some reason Ichigo could almost feel Zangetsu bang her head against a nearby building in his soul.

"**Son of a bitch Ichigo…you've gotten an intelligence boost, gotten laid, and get into life or death battle almost daily…how the hell are you still dense?"** Zangetsu sounded as if she were truly begging for an answer.

"…_Listen I don't know why you are so against using this…"_

" …**You found that can in the same aisle as that fucking CD…"** Zangetsu was hoping Ichigo would get the hint.

"_It was obviously misplaced, probably by another costumer…"_

"**You are the only one who can even go into the store."**

"_Rukia came that one time."_

"**Yeah because YOU brought her."** Zangetsu deadpanned.

"_So…you're telling me because life is a game people can't go into a store without me being there? That's so unrealistic it's not even funny."_

"**How the hell am I still alive? OH THAT'S RIGHT! My master is a lucky ass, walking Deus ex Machina!"** Zangetsu yelled angrily to nobody. **"Listen this is all I can do to hope you won't use that spray. It says it was banned in 17 countries on the back of the bottle."**

"_That's obviously an advertisement, get it? It means that it works so well that countries had to ban it because it makes its competitors go out of business. I am such a genius." _Ichigo said while mentally patting himself on the back.

"**ARGGGGG!"**

Shaking his head at his sword's weird behavior he took off the cap and sprayed the banned product on himself just as Yourichi landed behind him in cat form.

"_This stuff works amazingly fast!"_ Ichigo thought before turning toward the cat…

…Which was currently a naked, black skinned, woman.

"_What the fuck?"_ Ichigo thought as he was pressed against the wall by the purple haired woman. Turning to the right he saw Rukia blushing furiously, but not in anger like he had so dearly hoped. Thinking of a way to get out of his current predicament he quickly turned back to Yoruichi. "Hey don't little kids live here? We can't corrupt their minds if they see us!" Seeing her pausing Ichigo mentally cheered. "_Good she still has morals."_ Ichigo seemed to forget an important lesson that he should have learned during his first timeline.

When you try to make your life better…

…shit will always get in your way.

"We can go to your house!" Rukia said while pulling Ichigo. "Your family is out buying supplies for a memorial tomorrow after all, it is June 16th today!" Rukia said as Yoruichi's eyes seemed to light up, despite being glazed over from the spray.

"Lead the way! But first let me get my overnight bag." Yoruichi cheered as Ichigo went pale.

**~The next Morning~**

"Where am I?" Yoruichi asked herself as she took in her surroundings "And why am I naked?" Turning around she saw an orange-haired teen and a black-haired girl next to her sound asleep. "…The fuck?" Yoruichi was now completely confused as she took in her surroundings. She found her clothes hanging on the door knob and when she got up she winced. "W_hat the hell? The kid made ME limp?...might have to get his name if I ever see him again._" Yoruichi thought with a chuckle before going to the door…

*SLAM*

…Just as Isshin slammed it open.

"GOOD MORNIG ICHIGOOOOO!" Isshin yelled with his eyes clothes. Taken by surprise Yoruichi kneed him in the balls and threw him out of the nearby window in one second.

"_FUCK! My reflexes took over…" _Yoruichi thought panicked at the idea that she probably just killed somebody. She saw the Orange-haired boy suddenly jump up with a round house kick…

...hitting absolutely nothing.

"That's weird he's supposed to be under my foot right now…" Ichigo said out loud as Yoruichi sweat-dropped. "Oh well…oh hey Yoruichi! Glad to see you're up right now. I need to explain some things to you." Ichigo began as he put some clothes on as Yoruichi followed his example. Ichigo then handed her a black book. "Skim through this real fast."

**-4 minutes later-**

"..It's a nice story but why should I believe any of this?" Yoruichi asked with a quirked eyebrow as Ichigo looked at her in shock, the thought of not being believed had never crossed his mind.

"…Cause it's in a book?" Ichigo tried

"…point." Ichigo gaped at her before composing himself when she looked at him again. "And why should I join you?"

"You'll save the world, get laid, have fun, and I'm rich as fuck." Ichigo said as she seemed to be debating it.

"That sounds very tempting, but it's not enough." Ichigo gaped at her before smirking when he came up with something else.

"We get to see the look on Byakuya's face when we tell him we tag-teamed his little sister?" Ichigo said as Yoruichi gained a face splitting grin.

"Deal. By the way why didn't you tell Rukia?" Yourichi asked Ichigo who shrugged.

"I care for her deeply and don't want the extra stress of finding out that I am the deciding factor of the fate of the world to be on her shoulders." Ichigo said with a determined expression as

Yoruichi looked at him with half-lidded eyes.

"She takes things way too seriously and you thought it would be funny as hell to see her reaction to the chaos you are no doubt going to cause. Is that the real reason?" Yoruichi asked the now sheepish Ichigo.

"Damn."

"You're a few centuries too young to try to lie to me." Yoruichi said smugly. Ichigo just looked at her in disbelief.

"But I'm not too young to fu-"

"-Moving on…" Yoruichi cut him off with a blush."What's my first mission Ichigo-_taichou_?" Yoruichi asked with a smirk as Ichigo grinned.

"Taichou? I like the sound of that. Ok here's what I want you to do…"

**~Later At Masaki Kurosaki's Grave~**

Ichigo and Rukia stayed behind after the Kurosaki family finished praying. Ichigo told them that he would give the family a present to raise everyone's spirits. After convincing Isshin that he and Rukia weren't going to be up to any "Funny" business they transformed into their soul reaper forms and headed into a nearby forest.

*BOOM*

**BGM: Bleach OST: Invasion**

"They are over here!" Rukia yelled to Ichigo as they entered a clearing where they found Yoruichi dodging the strikes of a hamster like Hollow making Ichigo open up his guide.

-**Guide-**

_Opponent: Grand Fisher_

_HP: 50,000 Reiryoku: 70,000_

_Abilities: Lure, Enhanced Speed, Opression, Tentacles, Transcribe, Migration_

_Advice: Simultaneously destroy both the lure and the Hollow body to purify this Hollow._

**-Close Guide-**

"HEY GRAND FISHER! REMEMBER ME?" Ichigo roared while charging at the Hollow with Zangetsu raised high.

"**Hmm you seem familiar…" **Grand Fisher began before smirking. **"Oh yes you are that boy that that one bitch died to protect…oh well at least I didn't go hungry that day kekeke."** Fisher chuckled as everyone else's eyes widened before they glared at the Hollow in anger.

"**Ichigo…" **Zangetsu began with suppressed anger. **"Let's show this bitch exactly who he's fucking with."** Ichigo nodded before raising Zangetsu in front of him, he turned to Rukia and Yoruichi and told them the plan. "We have to completely destroy this thing and the lure to purify it! So go all out!" Ichigo yelled as they nodded. "**BANKAI!"(AN:Listen I don't know how the new Bankai looks so just imagine the old one for now then insert the real image whenever Kubo reveals it.)**

*****BOOM*****

"**DANCE! SODE NO SHIRAYUKI!"**

"**SHUNKO!"**

"**Tensa Zangetsu…"** Ichigo drawled like the complete badass he is before putting his hand on his face, causing it to be covered by a white mask with two black lines going down both sides of it. Noticing Rukia's surprise he appeared behind her with his hand on her head. "**Don't worry it's still me, this is just a trick I put up."**

"…How" Rukia asked in disbelief.

"**A fucked up school year."** Ichigo explained before aiming his blade at the terrified Hollow. **"You wanted a meal? Well eat this. GETSUGA…."** Ichigo began as Zangetsu was covered in a black flame.

"**Tsugi no Mai…"**

"Eat this you ugly ass bastard!"Yoruichi yelled before firing a wave of lightning at the Hollow.

"…**TENSHOU!"** Ichigo roared while releasing a wave of black death.

"**HAKUREN!" **Rukia yelled while releasing a torrent of snow at the Hollow.

***BOOOM***

**-At the Kurosaki House-**

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Karin yelled when she fell from her chair due to the shockwave from the explosion.

"I don't know but it sounds like it was from the graveyard." Isshin said as Yuzu teared up._ "Please be okay Ichigo…I don't want to lose my son today too."_ Isshin thought worried about his only son.

**-With Ichigo's Group-**

**BGM: END**

**BGM: Bleach OST: Will of the Heart**

The three were took a good amount a damage from being too close to the explosion, but none of them were severely wounded. The silence was making Ichigo tense as he worried if they had failed.

_-50,000_

**Grand Fisher…**

"_Please…"_ Ichigo mentally begged hoping he didn't fail.

"**Come on…**" Zangetsu muttered knowing how important killing the hollow was for her master.

**DEFEATED!**

"_That means I unlocked the trophy!"_ Ichigo thought in disbelief at what was about to happen.

**Platinum Trophy: Fishing the Fisher: Unlocked (Player must Purify Grand Fisher on first attempt.)**

**Party Speed increased 50%**

**Soul Released: Masaki Kurosaki!**

**Yen+ 999,999,999**

**EXP+ 80,000,000**

**Yoruichi Shihoin: Lv 99!**

Ichigo's group could only watch in awe as orange-haired female looked at Ichigo with tears in her eyes.

"_Thank you so much for saving me Ichigo, I am so proud of you my son_." Masaki said as Rukia turned to Ichigo.

"I'll leave it up to you to perform the **Konso**, You deserve it." Rukia said with a sad smile as Ichigo walked to his mother with **Tensa Zangetsu** raised high.

"_Tell your Father and sisters that I love them…"_ Masaki said while closing her eyes.

**BGM: Interrupted**

**BGM: Bleach OST: Number one**

"**No…"** Ichigo said before dispelling the mask, showing his mom his best smile." You tell them."

*SHTCK*

Ichigo stabbed his blade in to the ground and brought his hands together.

*Clap*

_Restore nearby Souls to life? Check!_

*Clap*

Masaki could only gape as she felt her body return to flesh and as she watched her transformation she felt something she thought she would never feel again…

*Ba-Dump*

Putting her hands over her heart she fell to her knees with tears in her eyes as her son hugged her.

"Well that was surprising." Rukia said before turning to Yoruichi, who had her back to her, looking closer Rukia could see the ex-captain's shoulders shake. "…Are you crying?" Rukia gaped at Yoruichi who quickly wiped her eyes.

"No…It's just so damn beautiful!*sniff*" Yoruichi exclaimed as Rukia shook her head.

**BGM: END**

**~40 Minutes Later At The Kurosaki Household. ~**

**BGM:Comical World**

"We're Home! And we have your present!" Ichigo yelled as Karin and Yuzu quickly ran to their brother.

"Ichigo you're alive!" Yuzu exclaimed as Karin looked relieved to see Ichigo back.

"ICHIGOOOO!" Isshin yelled before punching his son in the face. "HOW DARE YOU SCARE YOUR SISTERS!" Isshin yelled before feeling a hand on his shoulder as a voice he thought he'd never again hear spoke.

"Isshin _honey _what did I tell you about hitting Ichigo?" Isshin slowly turned around and grew pale at the murderous aura his wife had while maintaining a smiling face. Yuzu and Karin could only gape at their newly returned mother as Ichigo spoke up.

"...So like my present?" Ichigo asked as Karin and Yuzu's eyes seemed to dim.

*THUMP*

"I guess that's a yes." Rukia commented as she watched the twins faint.

*CRACK*

"AHHH! " Isshin screamed like a little bitch.

"AND ANOTHER THING! I TOLD YOU TO TAKE DOWN THAT DAMN PICTURE DOWN YEARS AGO!" Masaki yelled as she threw her husband at the giant picture of her. "What are you going to say when someone questions the wounds?"

"*sniff* I fell down the stairs?" Isshin answered in pain

"Good boy."

**-At Urahara Shop-**

"Oh you're finally back how was your trip?" Kisuke asked as Yoruichi smirked mischievously.

"It was very interesting…"

**END**

**AN1: Sorry about the wait I was trying to figure out whether or not to waste my time on the bird thing but decided to chalk it up as another think Ichigo settled when grinding. I need to get to the other arcs faster and I haven't even reached Uryu yet.**

**AN2: OMG persona 4 Anime was kick ass! LOL if you can't find the game "Persona 4" you can just watch the show.**

**AN3: Read and Review.**

**~Rebuke X7**


	5. A lesson in Badass

**Disclaimer: Don't own Bleach if I did Everyone's Bankai would be revealed by now.**

**Warning: Spellcheck/Grammar fail may occur.**

**Additional warning: Since a good amount of you have not read my Naruto fic and are not veterans to my insanity I'll tell you now. If you don't have an open mind leave now. You see that red "X" in the corner of your screen? Click it. Because anyone who has read the first fic will tell you that the pairings I can pull out of my ass are batshit insane. And with a larger variety of females to choose from in Bleach I can do ANYTHING. So if you aren't prepared for ANY PAIRING (excluding yaoi I don't do yaoi) then leave.**

Chapter 5: A lesson in Badass.

**~Ichigo's Soul.~**

Ichigo was looking at a woman who appeared to be in her late twenties, she had shoulder length black hair that seemed to blow in the non-existent wind. She had on a pair of sunglasses and was wearing what seemed to be a long black flaming fur coat with a flaming white collar. She tan skin and Black eyes, and altogether Ichigo would say she looked kind of badass.

"**Listen Ichigo** **after earlier events it has come to my attention that you are ready to learn the** **Final Getsuga Tenshou."** Zangetsu said bluntly as Ichigo did a very good combination of gaping and glaring at his spirit.

"What the hell? You could have just done this last time and saved us months of this bullshit!" Ichigo roared as Zangetsu glaring right back at him.

"**Bullshit! That was before you gained unlimited Shinigami powers! I don't have to worry about disappearing for God knows how long."** Zangetsu said matter of factly as Ichigo just face-palmed.

"Whatever. What changed your mind?" Ichigo asked as Zangetsu sighed sorrowfully.

"You ran into Don Kononji again." She stated dryly.

**~Flashback on top of a building: Night Time~**

**BGM: Bleach OST: Comical World**

"BWAHAHAHAHA!" Don laughed as he and Ichigo took down a Hollow. "You are very good young man! We should team up more often! You can be my side-kick!" The crazy man continued not noticing Ichigo's disgusted look.

"HELLLLLLLLLL NO!" Ichigo exclaimed, unknowingly causing Zangetsu to sigh in relief. "And what's with that ugly ass laugh?"

"My laugh cheers the hearts up of young people everywhere!" Kononji said as he turned around. "For you to even think that it is horrible means you truly are an evil spirit!" Kononji finished before fixing his glasses, making them shine in the moonlight."Be gone vile spirit! **Kan'onball!" **With that the weird man shot out a small blue sphere of light at our hero. Ichigo wasn't stupid he could have dodged…

…If he remembered what it did.

"_What the hell is this thing going to do?" _Ichigo wondered with a sweatdrop as the ball was 1 inch from touching him.

"**MOVE YOU DUMBASS!" **Zangetsu roared.

*BOOM*

…But it was too late. The blast didn't really _hurt_ Ichigo, but it did make him step back.

Off of the roof.

Ichigo still taken by surprise couldn't gather up the common sense to stand on air, so he just fell to the ground, breaking a few bones in the process.

"Good has triumphed again! BWAHAHAHA!" Don laughed while walking away.

"**Son of a bitch…"** Zangetsu growled.

**BGM:END**

**~Flash Back END~**

"…That doesn't explain why you want to teach me now." Ichigo said with a quirked eyebrow. Zangetsu just rubbed her temples before beginning.

"**I'm teaching you now because that insane old bastard made you look like a bitch!" **Zangetsu roared before calming down. "**You watch anime sometimes right?"** At Ichigo's nod she continued. **"And tell me what do YOU think plays a deciding factor in fights?"**

"Well in this one show this pink haired chick won a fight against some puppet master. A fight she had no business winning, but she had a lot of fans." Ichigo ranted not seeing where this was going.

"**Exactly so popularity plays a part in their victories?"** Zangetsu asked

"Yeah, so?"

"**And how do you become popular?"** Zangetsu asked happier seeing that her point was finally coming across.

"By being a badass. OH!" Ichigo exclaimed with wide eyes as he figured out where this was going.

"**EXACTLY! And getting turned into an old man's bitch does not make you a badass." **Zangetsu stated. "**In this world it works like an anime, despite being turned into a game, and even though you are grossly overpowered, Hanatarou could beat your ass if he was badass enough."** Zangetsu finished as Ichigo paled at the thought.**" The Final Getsuga gives you a lot of power yes, but its main purpose is to temporarily turn you into the most badass mother fucker on the planet!"** Zangetsu revealed as Ichigo fell down from having his mind blown.** "I know you Ichigo. You can walk the walk.**" Zangetsu began before summoning her blade. **"But can you talk the talk? Pull out your sword lesson one starts now."**

Ichigo stood up with determination before charging at Zangetsu, who sighed. **"Stop."** She said as Ichigo stumbled.

"Why?"

"**You are doing it wrong."**

"Doing _WHAT_ wrong?" Ichigo asked honestly perplexed as hell.

"**Charging at me. It sadly wasn't epic enough."** Zangetsu said despondently as Ichigo face-faulted.

"You can't be serious." He said in disbelief.

"**I am. Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about. Put as much energy in your blade as you can and release it." **Ichigo nodded before releasing a** Getsuga **toward some of the nearby buildings, destroying a good amount of them in the process.** "Good. Now do it again, but imagine saving everybody you love since that's when you're most badass."** Ichigo did it again and this time he destroyed all of the buildings.

"What the fuck! You mean to tell me I could have beat Aizen if I was _COOLER?"_ Ichigo asked seriously pissed off as hell.

"**Well duh why do you think Ulqiorra beat your ass so much?"** Zangetsu asked as Ichigo looked down muttering something about the espada just being stronger than him. **"Wanna see something cool?"**

"Sure. " Ichigo responded still a little peeved at this apparent new way to get power.

"**Imagine me as Aizen and attempt to try taking me down WHILE looking good. Use as much power as you can."** Ichigo nodded and narrowed his eyes as he exerted a large amount of Reiatsu and when his eyes turned blue from power he heard it.

**BGM: Bleach OST: Number One**

"_Holy Shit! I wasn't Crazy there really is music when I fight!" _Ichigo though in a amazement before releasing his attack a smirking Zangetsu who tossed her blade to the side and placed one hand on her jacket and pushed her shades up with her other hand before the blast hit her.

_*RIPP*_

**BGM: INTERRUPTED**

**BGM:Bleach OST: Chokkaku**

Ichigo looked on is morbid fascination as Zangetsu ripped her jacket of only leaving a flaming black bra and pushed her glasses up causing them to shine.

*BOOM*

**C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!**

When the dust settled Ichigo could see that his blast did absolutely nothing.

"What the hell?' Ichigo asked quietly as Zangetsu sauntered over to her blade.

"**Simple. By increasing my sex appeal my badass level went to the level of the Final Getsuga making your attack worthless. You are 3-dimensional being as I am a four dimensional one at the moment. I'm so badass that I would actually have to make myself look bad for you to do anything to me. Why do you think Aizen was so powerful aafter he gelled his hair?" **Zangetsu asked as Ichigo's mind was blown again. **"Now get ready I'm going to kick your ass until you are badass enough to make Aizen gape."** And with that Zangetsu launched at Ichigo with the intent to cause severe damage. Ichigo WOULD become badass enough to call himself her master…

…or that bastard would DIE trying.

**BGM: END**

**~In The Morning~**

**Hidden Trophy Unlocked: How to be a Badass**

**Badassness: S-rank**

Ichigo awoke with a fright. He could still feel the wounds, but he could say that he never felt better putting a hand to his forehead he could feel that, just like in his soul reaper form, his hair had grown longer. Standing up he nudged Rukia awake for their daily visit to the RFS. When Rukia opened her eyes she began to blush, but couldn't figure out why Ichigo had an aura that screamed epic but he acted like he didn't notice it at all. They left after about ten minutes of getting ready.

**~Rebukes Food Service~**

**BGM: Get Smart**

"Thank you have a nice day!" The clerk said as Ichigo and Rukia left after restocking on supplies. "Heh don't know why I didn't think of opening these things sooner ill make sure to set up weapon stores in **HOTD**." The clerk muttered to himself as his white haired summon walked in.

"_**MASTER! I can't find the new blend of spirit coffee!"**_ Izanami said in fear as the clerk raised an eyebrow.

"I just sold it to Ichigo why are you worried? If you want some I'll just buy you some more." The clerk said with a shrug as the goddess paled.

"_**Master…**_" Izanami began with a solemn tone _**"Please tell me you warned Ichigo about the unpredictable effects it has on Quincy."**_ Her master's horror filled expression was all she need to see and for the first time in centuries the clerk heard his servant curse. _**"Son of a bitch…"**_

**~With Uryu~**

The boy trembled suddenly making his arrow miss its target. He didn't know why but he felt the sudden urge to move to a different city make its self known. Passing it off as his imagination he began to walk to school unaware of what the future would bring.

**AN1: That's that! Sorry about the length but I wanted this to be out for Columbus day**

**AN2: Why do I have the feeling that my Naruto: Life is a Game fans are are shaking their heads sadly for Uryu?**

**AN#: I am seriously pissed off at Bleach now lol I would have hoped to be at saving Rukia by now but the beginning arc is longer than I expected sinc ei can't skip much of the episodes ( Shudders at thought of having to do Bount arc. Thank god Ichigo killed those bastards)**

**AN4: Read and Review**

**~RebukeX7**


	6. Insert Title

**Disclaimer: I don't own bleach if I did Ichigo would have killed Ginjou by now**

**(Warning Spell check/grammar broke big whoop wanna fight about it?)**

**AN: Seriously sorry for the wait but I honestly didn't know how to approach this until now. Also if this story seems a tad less funny when compared to my Naruto fic it's because I didn't have to go through a bunch of chapters before reaching exciting parts of the series. Bleach, as much as I love it, is giving me hell. If I can reach the rescue Rukia arc faster I may be able to save this fic from a hiatus. I honestly think I should have started with HOTD first before bleach but oh wellz.**

Chapter 6: *Insert title*

**(That's right the beginning arcs are so draining I don't even have a fucking title)**

**~After School~**

We find Ichigo finishing his last Hollow for the day with a tired expression.

"_Seriously this is getting repetitive, when the hell will the next saga start I am bored as fuck! This is why I skip tutorial levels in video games."_ Ichigo thought with a mental sigh as he turned towards Rukia. _"At least it isn't ALL bad. I wonder how she'll react to me starting one of our "Sessions"._ Ichigo chuckled as he walked towards Rukia with a smile before pushing her against a wall causing her to turn beet red, but before he could do anything...

"So this is what you do instead of killing Hollows? Hmph. Shinigami are nothing but pathetic fools." A voice rang through the alley causing Rukia to look at the new comer in surprise.

"Who are you?" Rukia asked not noticing Ichigo trembling.

"I am Uryu-what the hell is wrong with you?" Uryu exclaimed as he saw Ichigo's sclera begin to turn black.

**BGM: Bleach OST: Treachery**

"I-i-I don't know!" Ichigo said in fear. "My body feels like it is being overcome with unrelenting fury!" Ichigo said as a white shell began forming on his face. _"Zangetsu what's wrong with me!"_

"**You poor bastard."** Zangetsu said despondently. **"You don't even know when you have been cock blocked? …HOW ARE YOU THIS DENSE!"** Zangetsu roared still not being able to come to terms that someone as badass as her could have a master like _this._

"_Not Now Zangetsu! I might actually kill Uryu! I need to release this anger before I destroy somebody." _Ichigo said while for someone or something that he could decimate the fuck out of before he destroyed one of his homies. Luckily or unluckily depending how you look at it he didn't have to wait long as he felt somebody hug him from the back.

"Don't worry Ichi-nii the Hollow won't take over you. You can beat it!" An annoyingly squeaky voice came from behind him. Turning around Ichigo saw something that sent a shiver down his spine. He came face to face with a blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman who looked exactly like the monster that plagued his nightmares for weeks. The only difference was that this one seemed a little taller and had tan skin.

**Mary Sue Number 2 appeared!**

"And who exactly is _that_?" Rukia asked with some not so hidden malice towards the new girl as she glared at her. The girl just put her hands on her hips and glared back.

"If you _MUST_ know-"

"Oh believe me bitch I do." Rukia cut in while placing a hand on the hilt of her **Zanpakuto**

"-I am _Marcia Selena_ Uryu-nii and Ichigo-nii's childhood friend!" The delusional blonde said with pride as the self proclaimed enemy to all Shinigami gaped at her.

"THAT'S BULLSHIT!" Uryu yelled as he took a step back. "I never met you or that Orange-haired idiot-"

"-HEY!"

"-before today!" Uryu finished, ignoring Ichigo's exclamation, while summoning his bow. "Don't you dare think you can just place yourself in people's pasts like that!" Uryu demanded before releasing an arrow at the confused blonde.

**-Miles Away-**

"ACHOO!"

"Bless you Tsukishima."

"Thank you Ginjou."

**-Back with everyone else-**

*Boom*

Uryu watched in morbid fascination as his arrow was intercepted by an arrow from the blonde's own bow.

**BGM: Bleach OST: Fight to the Death**

"Silly Uryu-nii! How did you forget that you taught me how to do this?" Marcia asked with a giggle. "Never mind if I hit you hard enough you should get your memories back." She finished before releasing another arrow at the stunned Uryu.

*Boom*

"Get your head in the game! The only way we'll be able to beat this bitch is if we work together!" Ichigo yelled as he blocked the blast with Zangetsu.

"But it doesn't make sense!" Uryu damn near shrieked. "The only way you can have Quincy powers is if you're born with them! You can't just _teach _them!" Ichigo just looked at his friend with a solemn expression.

"Trust me I know how you feel, but you need to realize that the enemy we're fighting now is a real monster. Think of her as a zero-dimensional object, it shouldn't exist. She exists on her own plane of existence; she is so pathetic that no matter how much you lower yourself you still have no chance being able to interact with her. Your rules and logic just don't exist when it comes to her." Ichigo finished as Uryu went pale in understanding.

"…You've faced one before haven't you?" Uryu inquired softly as he noticed Ichigo grip his blade tighter. Ichigo glanced back at him.

"…Doesn't matter get your bow, we have to finish this quickly. Rukia freeze her now!" Ichigo roared as Rukia launched at Marcia with a wide swing of her white blade…

*Clang*

…Which was stopped by a near identical blade.

**BGM:END**

**BGM: Bleach Soundscape to Ardor**

"Rukia don't tell me you forgot that I am the reincarnation of the person who taught you how to use a blade." Marcia said while shaking her head as Rukia somehow manage to be scared and form a "WTF" expression simultaneously.

"That's impossi-*Shlick*" Rukia went silent as she collapsed in a puddle of blood as Marcia removed her blade from her stomach.

"RUKIA NO!" Ichigo yelled as he watched the woman who always had his back fall in battle. "YOU BITCH ILL **KILL YOU!" ** But before his Hollowfication could turn him into a Vasto-lorde he was brought out of his rage by yell from the Quincy.

"Ichigo! Settle down is this what she would have wanted?" Uryu yelled trying to stop his future ally from losing himself. The sight of the Hollowfication scared him, but not as much as the blond-haired THING they were fighting scared him.

"**But Ru**kia…" Ichigo began as his rage subsided.

"I know but we have to have a clear mind when taking this bitch out!"

"Fine…" Ichigo reluctantly agreed before resuming his stance against Marcia who just shook her head sadly.

"Just give in and you will live." When the boys kept their ground she sighed. "Fine then, **Corrupt! Fanfiction!"** With that her blade transformed into a grotesque white mask **(Imagine the troll face)** which she then put over her face.

**BGM: END**

**BGM: Bleach OST: Stand Up Be Strong part 1**

"Uryu give me far range support I'm going in." Ichigo said before activating his Hollow mask and charging in at the blonde demon. "**BRING IT BITCH!" ** Ichigo yelled at her as she tilted her head in confusion.

"_**You mad bro?"**_ Marcia asked innocently making Ichigo stop instantly as he was engulfed in rage once again.

"**ARGGGGGGGGG!"**

"You monster what did you do?" Uryu asked in morbid fascination as Ichigo entered his **Vasto Lorde** form.

"It's **fanfiction**'s greatest ability. It can cause great pleasure or great anger. I caused great anger to erupt from Ichigo while he had his Hollow mask on making him lose himself in rage, he'll attack anyone…even you." Marcia explained as Uryu paled as Ichigo let out another unearthly roar before turning and charging at him. Before Zangetsu could cut him in half, however, he suddenly found himself moving at great speeds while over the shoulder of a purple haired woman, He turned slightly and saw that Rukia was on the other shoulder.

"How…" Uryu began as the woman looked back at him.

"You almost got killed kid, you ok?" At his nod she continued. "Great as for your former question I'm the woman that just saved your fucking life!" She finished before landing in a nearby park, which was thankfully empty.

"That's great and all but what are we going to do? We can't beat those monsters!" Uryu yelled while waving his arms franctically, making her eyes widen as she saw his Quincy cross.

**BGM: END**

**BGM: Bleach OST: Tables Have Turned**

"You're a Quincy?" She asked in a strangely happy tone of voice.

"Yeah, but what does that matter? We are going to be destroyed!" Uryu yelled as finally gave up on trying surviving this frightening ordeal. _"I swear on my Quincy pride if I make it alive out of this ordeal I'll learn to love Shinigami as this is obviously karma for my hate of them."_ Yoruichi grinned before pulling out a sack of brown beans and tossing them to the hysterical Uryu. Uryu looked at the bag before sniffing it; he turned to Yoruichi in disbelief. "You want me to make you coffee? WHAT THE FUCK?"

"It's a special mix that Ichigo had bought some time earlier. It will give you back all of your stamina it also apparently increases Quincy powers by 1000% for 3 minutes." Yoruichi explained as Uryu gaped at her. "Sadly Ichigo said something about that being a rare shipment as those are the last beans, so you have one chance to take out whatever is causing Ichigo so much rage and he should turn back to normal."

"That's just fucking great the _ONE _day I don't have my coffee maker with me, oh I know! I'll just scurry on home and get it despite the fact that some homicidal over powered monsters are out to take me DOWN!" Uryu said with no small amount of sarcasm as Yoruichi glared at him.

"If you want to live eat the fucking beans!" Suddenly the two suddenly felt two bone shattering Reiatsu's as Ichigo and Marcia landed in the park, which was being destroyed by their mere presence.

**BGM: END**

**BGM: Bleach OST: What Can You See In Their Eyes**

"_FUCK! OH WELL I'm going to die so I might as well…"_ Were Uryu's last thoughts before he downed the bag of beans.

"**SHUNKO!"** Yoruichi yelled as she activated one of the most badass Kido in history.

"Yourichi-chan not you too..." Marcia said in exasperation before snapping her fingers making the electricity disappear. "I helped you make that move remember?" She asked as Yourichi gaped.

"B-b-but even if you did, which you sure as hell didn't bitch, you can't make it disappear!" Yoruichi yelled as she began to get a headache from that mind fuck.

"It doesn't matter as long as I have this mask Ichigo will attack anyone BUT me." Marcia said with giggle. "Take her out Ichi-nii" Before Ichigo could attack, however, he was enveloped in a blue light.

*BOOM*

**BGM: Interrupted!**

**BGM: Bleach OST: Quincy's Craft**

**Enrage Ichigo: Defeated!**

**EXP+ 77,000,000**

**Uryu rose to lv 77**

The white armor blew off of Ichigo's skin from the explosion freeing him from his enrage stated he tiredly stood up and looked for the cause of his freedom.

"Glad to see your back Ichigo." A panting voice said making Ichigo turned to Uryu, who had a faint blue aura around him and his right arm was in a blue flame. Looking closer Ichigo could tell that Uryu's hair was bright blue and reach his mid back, giving him an appearance not unlike a Quincy version of Ichigo's **Final Getsuga**.

It still wasn't as badass though.

"Uryu! Are you ok?" Ichigo asked in concern as he noticed Uryu was clutching his chest in, what he had assumed, pain.

"Never*pant* better all this power at my finger tips…it makes me sad that I will never experience it ever again. I truly feel that I could become the God of a world that I could recreate in my image." Uryu said with a chuckle.

**-Meanwhile in another dimension-**

We see a brown-haired young man sleeping in his bed while clutching a black note book.

"*Snore* Bullshit.*snore*

**-Back with everyone else-**

"I don't have much time, so I'll end this now." Uryu stated as two bright blue wings erupted from his back as he created his final arrow which he aimed at Marcia, but before he released he had to ask…

"…You mad bro?" He heard Marcia gasp as her mask shattered which signaled him to release the arrow.

*BOOOOM*

**BGM: END**

**Mary Sue 2/10" DEFEATED**

**EXP+ 90,000,000**

**Uryu is now lv 99**

When the smoke cleared Ichigo could see Marcia no more.

"_This is Insane! She was only number 2! She was nowhere near the strongest." _Ichigo thought in Horror

"**We might have to rethink our plans on taking care of the Espada we'll need more allies to face this new menace. I shudder at the thought of number 10."** Zangetsu said as Ichigo nodded his head in agreement.

**-In Hueco Mundo-**

Ulquiorra stopped his walk throught the Halls of Las Noches before turning his head toward a shadow.

"Come out now before I kill you." Ulquiorra said as he drew his blade. A little Blonde haired girl with green eyes looked up at him. She had a black **"X" **on her forehead and was wearing a white sundress.

"Now is that any way to treat your daughter tou-san?" The girl asked before jumping at Ulquiorra.

And for the first time in years Ulquiorra…

… Screamed like a little bitch.

**-10 minutes later and a Revival bead later (AN: Gotta love the RFS) with everyone else-**

"What's wrong with him?" Ichigo asked in concern as he, Rukia, and Yoruichi looked at the Quincy in concern.

"I don't know maybe the coffee did something to him" Rukia suggested as Uryu's body convulsed one last time before exploding in a blue light. When the light died down Ichigo couldn't believe his eyes.

"Oh my God…" Ichigo muttered.

"Impossible…" Rukia muttered while covering her mouth.

"AHAHAHAH" Yoruichi laughed her ass off.

"**I'm not alone!"** Zangetsu…cried.

"What are you idiots going on about?" Uryu asked annoyed before blowing the bangs from his eyes. "Damn I thought my hair would go back to normal now I have to cut it." Uryu muttered to himself. "Is it me or is it cold?" Uryu wondered before looking down and paling. "WHAT THE FU-"

**Hidden Character Unlocked: FemUryu**

**-Meanwhile BILIONS of Miles away on a parallel planet: Training ground 7-**

Sasuki suddenly shuddered and glared at Naruto, who had developed a large grin.

"HELL YEAH! I KNEW ICHIGO COULD PULL IT OFF!-TTEBAYO!" Naruto yelled to the heavens while side-stepping a **Chidori** from Sasuki.

**-In Rebukes Food Service-**

**BGM: Bleach OST: Get Smart**

"_**Son of a bitch…"**_ Izanami muttered as she glared at her master who had his face in his hands.

"…Don't say a fucking word." All the clerk got was a snort in response.

**AN1: That's that hope you enjoyed it, also if you haven't done it yet start reading the chapters with the BGM's makes the quality much better.**

**AN2: This story will never be abandoned( That's for nubs) But in November it may take awhile before I update( I'm not saying I won't update in November) As all Gamers know this November is going to kick ass. And if you are not a gamer I'll explain I'm going to spend more of my time on either Skyrim, Saints Row the Third, Cod MW3( If I have the money left over) Arkham city etc( PS all are going to be on PS3 I have the 360 as well but I'm getting my stuff for ps3 if you want to add me my account is the same as my pen name.)**

**AN3: Read and Review**

**~Reb-**"OBJECTION!"

**BGM: Ace Attorney: CORNERED**

**What the hell?**

Phoenix Wright: You forgot to mention that for all those that somehow didn't know that HOTD is High School f the Dead and that your sidestory" Life is not a Game" Can serve as the prologue for the current and future arcs in LIAG which, after HOTD, will completely depend on what the viewers want!."

**I didn't forget you asshole that was a surprise!**

Phoenix Wright: *Sweat Animation*

**I'm sooo kicking your ass on UMvC3**

**~RebukeX7**


	7. Calm Before The Storm

**(Disclaimer don't own anything if I did id be rich.)**

**(AN: Holt fuck an update…)**

**Warning: Spell check/grammar blah blah blah**

Chapter 7: Calm before the Storm

**~Kurosaki house~**

**BGM:Bleach OST: Comical world**

Ichigo was sitting on his couch with Rukia playing a game of chess while watching the television, when suddenly a commercial came on. Looking closer at the orange haired woman on the television Ichigo could only gape as he saw his mom doing an advertisement for the family clinic.

"_Hello my name is Masaki Kurosaki head doctor at the Kurosaki clinic."_ Ichigo's mom began with a smile. "_Here we not only make sure that your health is better, but we also offer cost efficient plastic surgery for those of you who want to get rid of some the more…unpleasant features on your body.." _

"_What the hell! Since when did we do that?"_ Ichigo thought in confusion before continuing to watch the commercial

"_We also offer it for those of you who need to escape from your past whether it's from the yakuza or the government…_

"_IS THAT EVEN LEGAL!" _Ichigo yelled in his mind, turning to the side he could see Rukia wondering the same thing.

"_MASAKI HELP WERE LOSING HIM!" _Came Isshins voice from somewhere in the background as Ichigo paled.

"_There's no way this is happening on fucking TV!" _Ichigo roared mentally as Zangetsu shook her head from within Ichigo's soul.

"**Yes Ichigo…Your parents are truly THAT stupid."** Ichigo could have sworn he could _feel_ Zangetsu face palm.

"_With our family policy…"_ Masaki continued pointedly ignoring the screams in the background.

"_THE ANESTHITIC WORE OFF HELP!"_ Isshin's voice interrupted again. "_DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON ME YOU BASTARD! CLEAR!"_

_*zap*_

"_AGHHH!"_ came the scream of what of Ichigo assumed was the poor patient.

"…_IF YOU DON'T SURVIVE YOU WILL GET YOUR MONEY BACK!"_ Masaki yelled while keeping a nervous smile on her face as they yells began to lessen.

*_BEEEEEP_*

"…_Damn tag him and bag him."_ Ichigo gaped at the TV as his mother mouthed what looked like "Konso" to his dad.

**BGM: END**

"…Oh my god…" Rukia whispered with wide eyes. Ichigo, after recovering from his shock, turned off the TV and just sat back and stared at the blank screen.

"_My parents are fucking insane." _Ichigo said before shaking his head. "_Okay enough TV, now onto important matters like dealing with Aizen!"_ Ichigo thought fiercely before stopping when he heard a whimper. _"What the hell Zangetsu?"_

"**Do we **_**HAVE**_** to fight Aizen?"** Ichigo could only gape a little as he realized his normally stoic and badass partner was…Scared?

"_I have to ask. WHY are you reluctant to fight him NOW?"_

"**Don't you SEE?"** Zangetsu whispered hysterically. **"He can do ANYTHING he planned EVERYTHING! For all we know he planned us going back in time!"** Zangetsu _shrieked _at Ichigo who rolled his eyes.

"_Oh come on, he obviously lied about half of the shit he's done. "Planned every one of my fights" bullshit I mean what would he even gain from me getting stronger?"_ Ichigo ranted as his annoyance for the ex-captain with a chess master complex burned with a new vigor. Ichigo then frowned when his Queen was taken by Rukia's knight.

"Looks like I'm going to beat you this time Ichigo." Rukia said with a smirk.

**~Meanwhile in the Seireitei~**

AIzen and Gin were having tea in his office while playing chess when Momo walked in with some sandwiches.

"Here you go taicho!" Momo chirped before leaving a smirking Aizen behind.

"All according to plan…" Aizen said evilly as Gin just stared at him before asking…

"..What" Aizen sighed before turning to Gin.

"Poor simple Gin of course you wouldn't be able to figure it out your brain just isn't big enough to comprehend my genius." Aizen said despondently as Gin's right eyebrow twitched.

"Oh PLEASE enlighten me oh great wonderful Aizen-Sama." Gin said sarcastically which, of course, AIzen didn't notice.

"Glad to see you're learning your place Gin." Gin's eyebrow twitched more. "Since you asked so nicely I shall grant you with an answer. I have been planning these very sandwiches for easily over one hundred and fifty years." Gin's eyes actually opened in disbelief.

**~Flash back~**

Aizen glanced around District 1 of the Rukongai before spotting a dark haired female. He quickly walked up to her with a small smile.

"Ma'm you wouldn't happen to be single would you?" The woman gaped at his bluntness for a second before giving him an apologetic smile.

"Sorry but you're not my type." Aizen blinked owlishly at her for a second before chuckling.

"Not me ma'm you see that man over there sent me to tell you that he wanted to take you out, you see he is terribly shy." Aizen explained while pointing to a guy that was eating noodles on a bench.

"OH HInamori-kun is so cute when he is shy!" The woman said with a blush in giggle before walking toward a now confused noodle eater as Aizen smirked.

"All according to plan…"

**~Flashback end~**

"….Bullshit…" Gin said after finishing his sandwich as Aizen shook his head in pity.

"So sad Gin, your lack of seeing the truth of my divine brilliance is astounding, for you see I planned for you to say that." Aizen said as Gin stood up abruptly. "…And now you are going to leave, all according to plan." This made Gin stop and sit back down with a smirk.

"Actually I think I'll just stay right here." Gin said smirking, but soon stopped when he noticed Aizen having a smirk of his own.

"See how easily I made you stay? You are so easy to manipulate." Aizen said with an evil chuckled before using his pawn to take out Gin's Rook as Gin openly glared at him. "Don't worry when Kuchiki gets sent back here you will be able to see the true magnificence that is Aizen Sosuke."

**~Back with Ichigo~**

"_Don't worry Zangetsu if my plan goes correctly Aizen will bow before my greatness as I will give him a fate worse than death."_ Ichigo told his Zanpakuto evilly before his knight was taken out by Rukia's. _"All we have to do is wait for the Byakuya to come take Rukia tomorrow and my plan will be set in motion. And then I'll take Chad and Orihime out training for a little bit and then we'll troll the entire Seireitei." _

"**Are you sure this dumbass plan of yours will work?"**

**-With Aizen-**

"Don't worry I have complete faith that my plan will work." Aizen said before moving his bishop and spoke unknowingly the same word as Ichigo…

**-With Ichigo-**

"Checkmate!" Ichigo said with a smirk, not knwing that Aizen has just done the same thing.

**Hidden Platinum Trophy Unlocked: Chess Master (Player Must win 100 chess minigames in a row)**

**Player will be able to manipulate the existence of one non-enemy character 1 time.**

**AN1: SO Sorry for the short chapter but my originaly one got deleted**

**AN 2: Thought I should stay true to my word and atleast update once in November.**

**AN3: We are finally here the rescue Rukia Arc Begins now!**

**AN: 4 Read and Review.**

**~White Room~**

**BGM: Power by Kanye West.**

"Best game ever." Rebuke said while playing Saints Row the Third as he made his character sky dive onto a hotel building owned by an enemy gang naked.

"_**Master…"**_ Izanami began as Rebuke glanced at her.

"Yeah?"

"_**DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO MAKE ME THE DESIGN FOR YOUR CHARACTER"**_ Izanami asked with anime tears as her Saints row Counterpart hit a random guy with a giant purple dildo…still naked.

"Hells Yes."

__**RebukeX**_**7**_


	8. Rescue Rukia pt1 extra

**Disclaimer: The only thing I own…is my couch…which is now on fire…sonuvabitch**

**(Warning spell/check grammar)**

**AN: This is a 2 part chapter . 1 part with the Bakudo x plot and another part concerning the LIAG plot in it's entirety.**

Chapter 8: Rescue Rukia pt 1+Extra

**~Captains meeting~**

"So I assume you have captured Kuchiki Rukia successfully Kuchiki-taicho." Yammamoto asked the long haired captain who nodded, but the unease on his face was unsettling to the rest of the captains in the room.

"It was successful, but I did run into some complications when retrieving her." Byakuya answered in is normally stoic voice.

"Oh?" Yammamoto asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"Yes…you see I ran into the boy that had obtained Rukia's powers." Byakuya began to explain before Yammamoto cut him off.

….The old bastard

"Then you have disposed of him then?"

"That's the problem…it was _too_ easy, in fact im not even sure I stabbed him." Byakuya said as the Captain general's eye opened.

"Explain."

**~Flash Back~**

**BGM: Bleach Comical World**

"Begone." Byakuya said before doing his incredibly pro shunpo and reappearing behind the stunned Ichigo. He raised his blade and plunged it toward the young soul reaper. Byakuya's eyes widened when he saw something he thought was impossible. _"Did he just catch my blade between his arm and side?"_ Byakauya was going to try again before Ichigo started coughing.

"Oh dear God the PAIN THE AGONY!" Ichigo screamed while stumbling forward and falling on the side of a building. "WHY ME! The inhumanity! I want my mother!" Ichigo continued as Byakuya's eye twitched.

"_I didn't even stab him!" _Through the corner of his eye he could see Renji raise an eyebrow at the spectacle as Rukia facepalmed.

"I see a light!" Ichigo said in a near whisper before turning his head toward Byakuya with the expression of a man who has found the meaning of life while on the verge of death. "It's because I fucked your sister isn't it!" Ichigo yelled accusingly as Byakuya's eye twitched. Once again, glancing at the other two people with him. Byakuya noticed his little sister's face was resembling a tomato quite well as Renji's mouth was open. Rukia glared at the orange haired boy before walking up to him and kicking him as hard as she could in the head. Ichigo just coughed some more while, what Byakuya was sure to be fake, tears fell down his face. "Et tu Rukius?" Ichigo muttered as Byakuya did something he hadn't done since he was a little kid playing with Yoruichi.

… That's right my friends Byakuya _facefaulted_

"_What the hell? He's quoting Caesar now?"_ Byakuya thought in disbelief. "Fuck it. We're going back now Renji." Renji gaped at his captain in surprise as he had never heard the stoic captain curse.

"O-ok."

**BGM: END**

**~Flashback End~**

"AHAHAHAH!" Came Kenpachi's roar of laughter while the other captains looked at Byakuya in disbelief. "I have got to meet this brat. To think he could make _Byakuya_ show emotion is incredible!" Kenpachi said while wiping a tear from his eyes.

**~With Ichigo~**

"**You are the WORST actor it has ever been my displeasure of knowing."** Zangetsu said while Ihcigo was running on top of some rooftops.

"You don't even know any!" Ichigo yelled as Zangetsu sighed

"**Not the point. Still I'm surprised you got Rukia to agree to this dumbass plan." **

"_She knows I can rescue her but first we need to make a few stops." _Ichigo responded before leaping off of the building he was on.

**~Uryu's House~**

*Knock*

* Knock*

"_Who is it?"_ A feminine voice muffled by the door asked as Ichigo stepped back.

"Ichigo." Ichigo answered while making sure he was not in front of the door anymore.

***BOOM***

Ichigo watched calmly as a barrage of arrows shot out from behind the door.

**-10 minutes later-**

Finally the last arrow was shot as Ichigo poked his head through the, now destroyed, doorway. Looking down he quickly spotted the panting Quincy and reached out his hand.

"….So you let it all out yet?" Ichigo asked as Uryu grabbed his hand; an action Ichigo found out very quickly was going to be one of the most painful experiences in his life.

***BAM***

"_...Ow…"_ Ichigo squeaked as he felt part of himself die on the inside courtesy of the knee that found refuge in his balls.

"Now I did. Come on, we have to go pick up Chad and Orihime." The once male Quincy told Ichigo while stepping over his fallen body.

**~Flashback Outside of the RFS~**

**BGM: Bleach OST: Get Smart**

*Thud*

Ichigo panted as he tossed a blonde haired female's body on a small pile of dead bodies.

"Well I have to say I wasn't expecting an ambush on my store, but I'm glad you came Ichigo…you are surprisingly strong." The bloodstained clerk said while holstering his gun. Turning towards his assistant the clerk spoke calmly. "You helped long enough, go rest for now Izanami."

"_**Yes Master"**_ The white haired woman spoke before fading into his body.

"Thanks for the compliment, but you helped out as much as I did. Explain." Ichigo said seriously while narrowing his eyes at his favorite store owner. The clerk sighed and reached out his hand.

"Let me reintroduce myself…Rebuke the Game Master at your service." Rebuke introduced himself with a smirk as Ichigo accepted it. Ichigo felt Rebuke go rigid once their hands connected and raised an eyebrow at the look of disbelief the now identified game master had on his face.

"You okay?" Ichigo asked in concern as Rebuke seemed to snap out of his daze. Shaking his head Rebuke gave Ichigo a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry it's nothing anyway I believe I owe you something since the whole mary-sue thing was my fault." Rebuke said sheepishly while giving Ichigo 4 blue pills.

**Player has obtained: Memory pill X 4**

Ichigo raised his eyebrow at the white haired boy in front of him.

"What?"

"Did you really have to say that in that deep voice?" Ichigo asked in a deadpan tone as Rebuke scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Sorry force of habit anyway with those pills you can return four people's memories from your original timeline. You only have four so use them wisely." Rebuke said before opening the door to his store. Looking at Ichigo one more time he spoke. "Also one more Mary-Sue is still out there so be on alert; it's the strongest one and I'm going to need your help to stop it." Rebuke said seriously as Ichigo nodded his head.

"I'll keep that in mind."

**BGM: End**

**~Flashback: End~**

Well it's safe to say that Ichigo chose to bring back Rukia, Orihime, Chad, and Uryu

Rukia because he needed her to agree to his plan.

Orihime because he needed a medic.

Chad because he needed a homie.

And Uryu because he needed the pissed Quincy to stop trying to kill him.

After picking up Orihime and Chad the four returned heroes began to walk towards Urahara shop with looks of determination on their faces. Suddenly Ichigo began to give a heartful laugh as Orihime looked at our orange haired hero in confusion.

"What's so funny Kurosaki-kun?" Orihime asked her crush while tilting her head.

"Nothing just that I'm imagining how many people we are about to troll." Ichigo said with a snicker making her giggle.

"Ichigo…" Anime's favorite Hispanic began making Ichigo look at him.

"Yeah?"

"Where's Uryu?" Chad asked honestly confused pointing at Uryu who glared at him making him take a step back.

"Oh yeah… how can I explain this…" Ichigo said as Uryu turned her glare toward him.

**-5 minutes later-**

"…You bastard." Chad said in horror after hearing the tale of what happened to his friend's masculinity. Orihime on the other hand…

*Glomp*

"YAY! We can be like sisters! We can goto the mall and have sleep overs an-"

"ORIHIME!" Ichigo yelled at his medic.

"Yes Kurosaki-kun?"

"He-er She needs air!" Ichigo exclaimed causing her to look at the now blue Quincy in her arms.

"…Sorry." She said releasing to poor girl.

"Alright operation rescue Rukia…again begins now!" Ichigo yelled while kicking down Urahara's door.

**AN 1: That's that! Hope you enjoyed the chapter!**

**AN 2: I wanted to get this chapter out before December and it looks like I was successful!**

**AN 3: Read and review**

**~Extra: White Room( Mainly for people concerned about the main LIAG plot)~**

"_Amazing I didn't think it was possible. But it happened!"_ Rebuke thought in amazement as he recalled an earlier event.

**-Flash Back-**

"Let me reintroduce myself…Rebuke the Game Master at your service." Rebuke introduced himself with a smirk as Ichigo accepted it.

***CRACK***

**BGM: Persona 4 OST: The Poem for Everyone's Souls**

"_What the hell?"_ Rebuke thought in confusion as he looked around, what he assumed was, a dark blue airplane that seemed to be made of velvet.

"You have come." A feminine voice spoke out making Rebuke look at her.

"_It Can't Be!"_ Rebuke thought in disbelief as he looked at the woman. She had long gray hair and yellow slitted eyes she also wore a short strapless blue dress. _"…No it can't be __**her**_, _**she **__had black hair and red eyes, but the likeliness is uncanny."_Rebuke thought will shaking his head. "Excuse me but who are you and where am I?" Rebuke asked politely as he reached for his gun.

"I am **Rose**." The woman said making Rebuke's eyes go wide in disbelief. "And this is the **Velvet Room. ** Despite being a persona user for centuries this is the first time you have made an S-link, thus the reason our meeting has been put off until now."

"Please do not make us wait this long again young man time is running short and you'll need all of the power you can get for the upcoming conflict." Came an elderly voice making Rebuke turn towards and old elderly man with an _extremely_ long nose. "Today you have unlocked the **Tower Arcana** a very powerful arcana indeed and do to your past history with Kurosaki Ichigo you have maxed it out as well allowing you to be able to fuse **Yoshitsune** to aid you in battle."

"Fuse?" Rebuke asked in confusion as the old man gained a giant grin." here let me show you." The old man said as 5 cards flew out of Rebukes body and circled the old man. The 5 card then slammed into each other creating a blinding light, and when it settled down Rebuke came face to face with a long black-haired Man wearing crimson samurai armor and holding two katanas.

"_**I am Yoshitsune. Your shield, your sword, your friend." **_ And with that the being stabbed Rebuke in the heart and fused into his body. Rebuke suddenly felt a wave of serenity course through his body and clear his mind.

"What was that?" Rebuke asked as the old man grinned.

"That was your new ally; he alongside Izanami should help you throughout your journey."

"What Igor is saying is that now that you have one of the 22 slinks completed you can begin searching for the other 21." Rose said as Rebuke glanced at her. "Now it is time for you to goback to your realm you have work to do." And with that Rebuke awoke with his hand still shaking Ichigo's.

"You okay?" Ichigo asked in concern as Rebuke seemed to snap out of his daze. Shaking his head Rebuke gave Ichigo a reassuring smile.

**~Flash Back: End~**

"Izanami, how are those other two projects coming along?" Rebuke asked his partner who gave him a smile.

"_**Good news master. I have managed to place the life to game energy into the pineapple you stole from that red-haired pirate's ship and I will place it back before he notices."**_

"Excellent! What about the other project?"

_**I have also converted the energy to perform the technique into magic and taught it to that dragon to teach his foster son.**_

"Perfect looks like we may be able to win judgement day after all!" Rebuke said in glee.

"_**Master…what about the THIRD one?"**_

"….I'm still debating whether to go through with it or not… there are some things we shouldn't mess with and alchemy sure as hell is one of them." Rebuke muttered.

"_**Agreed."**_

**~RebukeX7**


	9. Rescue Rukia pt 2

**Disclaimer : Do you own bleach? Neither do I biatch**

**(Warnings: You know them already fuck off)**

**BGM: Holy shit it's a Dinosaur instrumental**

**Holy Fucking shit **

**It's a new chapter~**

**Jesus Christ….What the Fuuuuuck**

**Oh my fucking God**

**Fucking new chapter**

**Holy shit what the fuuuuuuuc-**

"_**Er Master?..."**_

**Yeah?**

"_**Just Start the damn chapter."**_

***Sniff***

Chapter 9: Rescue Rukia part 2

**~Outside Squad 5 bathrooms~**

Gin leaned against the wall waiting for his partner in all things evil to finish up for today was the beginning of all of their hard work.

*Flush*

"*Sigh*…all according to plan…." Aizen said while exiting the bathroom as Gin looked at him in confusion.

"…What?"

"You see my little simpleton..." Auzen began as Gin's eyebrow twitch returned with a vengeance."…I planned that bathroom trip for close to a century now." Gin turned around and glared at Aizen, smile gone and eyes wide open.

"BULLSHIT! THAT DOESN'T EVEN FUCKING MAKE SENSE!"

"Sigh* Poor Gin it must be sad to only see the world in 3-dimensions…"

"What do you mean _ONLY_ three?"

"Well there are only about 27 that matter…." Aizen began as Gin held up his hand.

"Stop. Don't care. Let's forget this conversation even started." Gin said desperately trying to change the subject as he was sure his would wind up stabbing the glasses wearing man in front of him.

"But, surely you jest Gin? In fact let me enlighten you on the greatness known as Lord Aizen." Aizen began with a small smile. "You see. It all started on a hot summer day in 1898…."

**~Flash Back~**

A young pharmacist was currently glaring at the brown concoction in front of him.

"WHY? What is it missing?" The young man yelled tossing the brown liquid on to the floor as Aizen entered the building. Aizen seeing the man's frustration tasted some of the brown substance before chuckling.

"Isn't it obvious Bradham?" Aizen asked as the now identified Bradham looked at him with hope in his eyes.

"Please what is it! Tell Me! I'll give you a life time-no and _after_ life time supply of the finished project if you tell me what it is!" The young Caleb Bradham exclaimed hysterically while falling to his knees. Aizen just chuckled in amusement before telling him.

"….You ever try making it carbonated?" Aizen asked as the man's eyes lit up in joy making Aizen chuckle again as someone else finally recognized the greatness that was Sousuke Aizen."

And that is how Pepsi-cola was created.

**~Flash back End~**

"…and due to that Drink I was able to have that restroom visit you just witnessed." Aizen said as Gin's mouth hung open in utter shock.

"…but …" Gin began as Aizen raised his hand signaling him to be quiet.

"Of course at that time he had already figured out the perfect recipe so I had to use my complete hypnosis to make him forget a few things…"

"…But"

"Complete Hypnosis."

"That still doesn't-"

"_Complete Hypnosis."_ Aizen said perhaps a little more forcefully while placing a hand on his Zapakuto's hilt making Gin shut up. "Now do you want to know the eleven herbs and spices in that chicken you love so much?"

"AGHHHHHH!" Gin yelled running away from Aizen who shook his head sadly.

"*sigh* another person who can't comprehend my utter magnificence." Aizen said sadly.

**~Meanwhile BILLIONS OF MILES AWA-**

"_**Pretty sure it's only about 57."**_

**Not now!~**

As Ichigo and his party entered **Rukongai **Ichigo suddenly went rigid making Yoruichi, who was in human form, look at him oddly.

"Whats wrong Ichigo?" Yoruichi asked confused as to why the orange-haired reaper stopped walking.

"I felt …a disturbance…" Ichigo said seriously with eyes narrowed making Uruy snort.

"Yeah like what?" Uryu asked her leader skeptically.

"It feels as though somebody was mind fucked and I wasn't the cause." Ichigos said seriously as Yoruichi gasped.

"But… that's _impossible_." She began with her eyes wide in fear. "_Nobody_ is as random as you!"

**~Meanwhile BILLIONS OF MILES AWAY~**

"_**You're actually right this time."**_

**Shut Up!**

Naruto suddenly stopped eating his ramen and glared up into the sky making Madara look at him funny.

"What's up with you?"

"I don't know…I felt….A disturbance…"

"Riiiiiggghttt"

**~Back to Ichigo's party~**

"Anyway let's continue." Ichigo ordered as began to walk towards the entrance to the **Seireitei. **. When they got close enough they met up with the giant Jidanbo Ikkanzaka who stood before the large gate defiantly.

"Halt!" The giant yelled. "You shall go no further!" Jidanbo said loudly before pulling out his axes making Ichigo sigh.

"Come on let us through!" Ichigo yelled before jumping back as one of the giant's swings almost took his head off. "Fuck it you asked for it!" Ichigo yelled holding Zangetsu high above his head with its edge facing the giant. Ichigo's eyes shine blue before he released his signature attack. "**Noob…Repelle-**er **Getsuga…Tenshou!"** Ichigo corrected himself as his party facefaulted at his mistake. The oversized blue blade of light harged at the poor gate keeper at a blind speed before it collided with him.

***BOOM***

_***THUD***_

The giant's body fell instantly as Ichigo rested Zangetsu on his shoulder. After a couple of minutes Ichigo finally snapped and glared at the sky confusing the hell out of Orihime and Chad.

"Yo hurry your ass up!" Ichigo growled at the clear blue sky confusing Chad and Orihime more.

***Pant* *pant* Sorry I'm in immense pain right now *cough* oh my ribs!**

A loud voice rang out scaring the hell out of Chad and the orange haired medic.

"The hell…" Chad began with his visible eye widened in surprise as Uryu shook her head.

"You'll get used to it." She assured her big friend despondently.

***Pant* Bronze trophy: Unlocked: Taking down the Giant!**

**Exp+ 55,000,000**

**Orihime Inoue has risen to Lv. 67!**

**Chad**( Yeah I know it's Sado but I called him Chad already no point in stopping now)** Yasutora Has Risen to Lv 70**

**Yen+ 50,000**

"….Why ya'll gotta leech…?" Ichigo asked…sadly? As he looked at his two teammates who had just received a large amount of power. They, of course, just looked at him like he had grown a second head so he shook his head and began to walk towards the fallen Giant while using his left hand to pull out a small kitchen knife as his right hand was still holding Zangetsu.

"….Ichigo what are you doing with the knife?" Uryu asked worried that her friend was about to kill the gentle giant they had known in their original timeline.

"Come on Uryu haven't you ever played **Monster Hunter?**" Ichigo asked as Uryu glared at him.

"Yes but that's a _game_ you will _kill_ him if you attempt to carve out weapons from him!" Uryu exclaimed as Ichigo shook his head.

"Watch." Was all Ichigo said before plunging the knife inside of the giant, much to the horror of his party, but before they could scream they noticed that the giant's axes disappeared and Jidanbo had no visible wounds from the knife.

"…The hell?" Uryu asked mimicking Chad's earlier surprise. "Where did they go?"

"My…_pocket."_ Ichigo explained as if he was talking to a five year old which made Uryu grit her teeth in frustration, but before she could lunge at our hero Yoruichi put a hand on her shoulder calming her down.

"And _why _ do you want his axes?" Yoruichi asked calmly as Ichigo sighed.

"So I can sell them at the RFS for supplies for when we enter the **Seireitei."**

"The RFS?"

"Yes."

"The grocery store?"

"Yup."

"The grocery store in another fucking dimension." Yoruichi said in monotone hoping Ichigo could understand that they just couldn't go back to Karakura to get supplies whenever they wanted. Ichigo just shook his head and pointed at something behind her.

"No the one right behind you." Ichigo deadpanned which made his whole party turn around, and sure as hell there was a modern grocery store surrounded by old houses with a sign that said "_Rebuke Food Service". _Yoruichi stared at it for 3 minutes before slowly turning her head to Ichigo, who was still wearing a deadpan expression.

"…The fuck?" Yoruichi asked finally realizing that _nothing_ seemed to be normal when around Kurosaki Ichigo.

"World saving shops." Ichigo said as if it explained everything, which it kind of did in this case. Yoruichi watched as the other three members of the party suddenly nodded their heads in acceptance making her even more confused.

"What are you talking about?" Yoruichi exclaimed making Chad sigh.

"Yoruichi have you ever played a video game before?" At her confusion he continued. "Well in _games_, which our life is now thanks to Ichigo, there are _always_ going to be stores which for some inexplicable reason are _everywhere _and sell _anything_." Chad explained to her as she gained a look of utter disbelief.

"In fact…" Ichigo chimed in enjoying the confusion he was causing his purpled haired friend. "There's an RFS opening in **Hueco Mundo."**

"…Fuck it I don't care anymore. Nothing makes sense so I'm just going to go with the flow." Yoruichi stated raising her hands in surrender.

"Good girl, less headaches that way." Ichigo said seriously.

"I hate you."

"Riiighht." Ichigo said not believing her for a second.

**~30 minutes later~**

After re-stocking on supplies and getting Jidanbo to raise the gate, team "Ichigo Kicks Major Ass Especially Aizen's and There's Nothing He Can Do About IT" (Ichigo chose the name) came face to face with Gin. Before Ichigo could **Getsuga** the narrow-eyed captain to oblivion, however, Zangetsu had a better idea.

"**Wait. Think what would Aizen do?"** Zangetsu said making Ichigo stop what he was doing. Ichigo re-sheathed Zangetsu before using his hand to wipe his hair back while raising his **Reiatsu** thus making Gin widen his eyes in fear.

"So Gin we finally meet. _All according to plan._" Now there were a lot of reactions Ichigo was expecting from Gin.

He expected Gin to laugh.

Hell he even expected Gin to give him a look of utter disbelief.

But what happened instead caught Ichigo off guard.

"**BAN-"** Ging yelled hysterically as Ihcigo's eyes widened.

"Hit the dirt!" IChigo ordered his team who did exactly that.

"**-KAI!" **

***BOOM***

Luckily Ichigo was fast enough to use Zangetsu to block the blade before he was skewered, but it still didn't stop him from getting pushed back 13 kilometers.

**-1 minute later-**

When Ichigo finally managed to arrive back to the gate he saw his team all give him a death glare which made him scratch the back of his head sheepishly.

"Hey! I didn't expect him to react that way." Ichigo tried to defend himself as Yoruichi rubbed her temples.

"Whatever, I have another way we can get in." Yoruichi said with a sigh as they began their trek to Kukakku's house.

**AN1: That's that I honestly had no idea if I could make this chapter as early as I did but what do you know it worked!**

**AN2: Theires a poll on my profile whats it for? Well go look to find out!**

**AN3: Read and Review!**

**~RebukeX7**

Rebuke was covered in blood as he tried to raise his gun to his head.

_*Crack*_

"**[Salvation]"** Rebuke gasped out as Izanami glowed in a golden light before healing all of the injuries that her master had gained on his latest attempt to gain allies for his cause.

"Well that rules out Goku to help us willingly, so I'm going to send you on a mission to retrieve the dragon balls and wish for his help I am not about to waste time on a game for him. Hell he doesn't even need cheats!" Rebuke exclaimed while falling into his couch.

**-Flash Back-**

Rebuke stood before a spiky black haired man in determination. The man scratched his head before gaining a huge grin.

"Alright I'll help you!"

"Tha-"

"If you can last 10 minutes with me in an all out fight." Goku said while getting into a fighting stance. Rebuke pulled out his gun and got into his own stance.

"_All I have to do is summon Yoshitsune to repel physical attacks then summon Izanami to use __**[Thousand Curses]**__ when he's pushed back and I'll win."_ Rebuke thought to himself as a leaf fell onto the soon to be battlefield, thus signaling the start of the fight. Just as Rebuke raised his gun to his head…

_*Crunch*_

"_Oh my fucking God!"_ Rebuke thought in disbelief as he was hit directly in the stomach by Goku

The fight was supposed to last ten minutes….

…it ended in 10 seconds.

**-Flash Back End-**

"_Yeah… fuck that I'll just use the dragon balls. Too bad the __**curse**__ prevents me from using them to just wish this conflict over with oh well."_ Rebuke thought to himself as Izanami left to go obtained he orbs.

**END**


	10. Movie: Journey for the Arcana Force

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach**

**(Usual Warnings) **

**(Ps top reviewers might find cameos in the film.)**

**I know some of you are like WTF? I know this was random and had no warning at all but… well I felt like it!**

**Now it's time for…**

**LIAG: THE MOVIE! (Kinda)**

**Journey for the Arcana Force!**

**(Takes place post NLIAG and during rescue Rukia Bakudo X)**

**Contains Spoilers for NLIAG and does not effect Bakudo X in anyway.**

**ACT 1: Rebuke's Mistake ( Don't worry all three parts are in this chapter)**

**~White Room~**

**BGM: Sponge bob Best day ever **

"IT's the best day Ever!" A white haired boy yelled while skipping merrily around his headquarters. "I've finally got the amount of energy to recruit the rest of my generals to start the war! **Judgement Day** will end with our victory and the blood of our enemies!" Rebuke yelled to himself. "Finally centuries of hard work finally over with. Nothing can go wrong!" Rebuke yelled before freezing mid jump.

**Record Scratch!**

"…Dear lord…I didn't just say that out loud!" Rebuke said in fear as he was too late to stop himself from saying the worst thing ever. "Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!" Rebuke yelled angrily.

After living for hundreds of years one thing had become apparent to our white haired hero and that is **NEVER SAY "NOTHING CAN GO WRONG"! **Rebuke buried his face into his hands before turning to the main door in his office.

"_Fuck…3…2…1-"_

*SLAM!*

Rebuke just stared blankly at his disheveled looking assistant, who was obviously scared and nervous. Rebuke shook his before staring at his white haired assistant.

"…_**Master…"**_ Izanami began looking very scared.

"Yes Izanami…?" Rebuke asked despondently.

"_**I…."**_ Izanami said looking down to the ground.

"I'm sorry I didn't hear you. Speak up please."

"_**I lost the….."**_ She mumbled again.

"OUT WITH IT WOMAN!" Now normally Rebuke was a very calm individual and would never raise his voice at a woman especially not his lifelong assistant, but he knew from jinxing himself earlier that what she had to say would **not** be good.

…And for once the Gods allowed him to be correct in his thinking.

"_**I LOST THE ARCANA FORCE!"**_ Izanami squeaked as Rebuke's tanned skin turned white. He stared at the woman for a little longer before finally saying…

"Bullshit." He stated refusing to believe her.

" _**I'm sorry but it's true!"**_

"You lost the fucking Arcana Force." Rebuke said with an eye twitch.

"_**Yes."**_

"The same Arcana Force that allows us to manipulate reality the way that we do?" Cue more eye twitches.

"_**Mhmm"**_ Izanami replied in fear as she took a step back.

"The same Arcana Force that I _STOLE_ from the younger, but almost as dangerous, sister of the bitch I'm making this army to kill." Rebuke said while stepping closer to her as she stepped further back. She just nodded her head.

**HOW!**

Rebuke's booming voice shook the room and caused Izanami to glare back at him.

"_**Don't raise your voice at me!"**_ She yelled as her eyes flashed gold for a second. Rebuke took a deep breath and calmed his self down a little…

…but not much.

"Izanami you can't expect me not to be pissed. You just lost the source of my power." Rebuke deadpanned as Izanami gained a hurt look.

**BGM: Persona 4 OSt: Ill face my self -battle-**

"_**I'm your power remember?"**_ She asked with sadness in her. _**"Remember I am thou and thou art I."**_ Izanami mutter as she pointed at her master who, in his rage, shook his head and said the worst words to EVER come out of his mouth.

**YOU'RE NOT ME!**

He boomed again as she clenched her fist as tears fell down her eyes. His eyes widened at his words but before he could apologize…

"_**Fine then…" **_She growled as her eyes went from ruby to gold. _**"You want to see how much I'm not like you?"**_ She asked as her skin turned to a pale shade of blue.

"Izanami wait!" Rebuke yelled, trying to get her to her senses, but was too late. Her hair turned pitch black along with the whites of her eyes. Rebuke fell to his knees as a horrible pain shot through his chest.

"AHHH!" Rebuke screamed as a small rectangular shape forced itself from his chest. Looking down in horror, Rebuke saw a card with Izanami's picture inside of it turn pitch black and burn in a black flame.

"_**You want to save everything right?"**_ Izanami asked with a tilt of her head. _**"Well then, I'll find the Arcana Force and DESTROY everything, but don't worry I won't make you watch."**_ She then formed a pitch black spear in her right hand and lunged it toward her former master.

*CRACK!*

*CLANG*

"_**AHH!"**_

"**Yoshitsune."** Rebuke muttered as the red-clad samurai blocked the spear with the blade in his left hand and stabbed Izanami in the shoulder with the blade in his right.

"**Tch. Fine then I see you still have some skill, but remember this I will destroy you." **Izanami stated as her voice grew darker. **[Oho-Ikazuchi]** Izanami launched a powerful wave of lightning at our favorite game master and teleported away.

***BOOOM***

**-BGM:END-**

**~Velvet Room~**

**BGM: Persona 4 Ost: Aria of the Soul**

"**You fucked up."** Igor and Rose deadpanned as they stared at Rebuke who sweat dropped.

"*sigh* I know. And I can already tell that Alice has begun trying to reclaim her Arcana Force, with her and Izanami both searching to destroy everything we may be fucked. It's a good thing Yoshitsune repelled most of the lightning before it could touch me." Rebuke said rubbing his temples as Rose walked towards him.

"I know where it is, but you have to hurry without anyone to stabilize it, it's going berserk." Rose said seriously as Rebukes eyes widened.

"Shit. Where is it?"

"At the edge of the universe, good luck getting there bitch." Rose somehow said politely as Rebuke's eye twitched.

"You're not going to take me?" Rebuke asked incredulously as Rose snorted.

"Hell no. Do you know how much gas costs these days?" She asked as Igor nodded his head in agreement.

"Fine then I'll have to get a ride my way." Rebuke glared as he stood up.

**BGM: END**

**~MEAN WHILE BILLIONS OF MILES AWAY: California~**

A guy named Ted was parked on the side of the road while reading the newest work from his favorite fanfiction author, RebukeX7, on his tablet.

"This is fucking Hilarious!" Ted laughed before he noticed a crack appear on his tablet. "What the…?"

Suddenly an arm shot out from the screen and punched him in the face. A body then pulled itself from the tablet revealing himself to be none other than RebukeX7…wielding a gun.

"GET OUTTA THE FUCKING CAR!"

"Wh-" Ted began before noticing the gun pointed at him.

"I SAID GET OUT!"

"BU-"

*Click*

*Slam*

Ted slammed the door of his car as he ran away. Rebuke sighed as he got into the driver's seat of the white Cadillac-XTS 2011 model.

*Ring*

"Yes?" Rebuke asked as he answered his phone.

"_Did you just Car jack that guy?" _Rebuke smirked as he heard Rose's voice filled with disbelief.

"Yup." And with that Rebuke hung up and turned on his radio.

**BGM: California Love**

"Time to go save the Universe." Rebuke said while putting on some shades. _"Hmm what's this?_" Rebuke wondered as he saw a bag of, what he assumed was grass, and some poorly wrapped cigarettes._"I don't smoke, but I think I'm going to need a cigarette with all this stress. It smells funny must be a new type of tobacco."_

**BGM: END**

**~MEANWHILE BILLIONS OF MILES AWAY~**

**Bleach OST: Invasion**

We now join Ichigo Kurosaki, blade raised high and slashing at some 1000 feet tall hollows that had destroyed most of the Seireitei with a barrage of Ceroes.

…wait what?

"What the fuck is going on?" Ichigo yelled as he released more waves of black energy at the swarms of Grande Menos Grandes

"**I don't know but don't you dare stop fighting!"** Zangetsu commanded. **"LOOK OUT!"** Zangetsu yelled at Ichigo. Ichigo turned around to see another GMG™ about to step on him.

"**Ban…KAI!"** A voice yelled and Ichigo looked in awe as the third captain, Gin Ichimaru, sliced the over-sized hollow in half vertically. Gin landed and spun around and glared at Aizen with an insane expression. "WAS THIS PART OF YOUR PLAN TOO MOTHER FUCKER!" Aizen coughed and began.

"Well you se-"

"No just no. Shut the Fuck up and admit when you don't understand what's going on! One of them even attacked you!" Gin roared.

"Well you see with my complete-" Aizen caught up in his speech didn't notice the GMG behind him charging a cero.

***BOOOM***

All that was left were his shoes.

"Whats going on?" Ichigo roaredagain as he put on a hand on his face. A black flame covered his face and unleashed his hollow mask.

"I don't know but there are only a few left. What I saw was that they seemed to appear from within a black portal that was formed when I purple bolt of lightning struck the ground." Gin replied as Yoruichi landed next to them along with a heavily injured Uryu and a scared Orihime.

"Orihime heal Uryu me Ichigo and Gin wil-" Yoruichi began before being cut off by a hysterical Ichigo

"**Look out!"** Ichigo yelled as he saw a GMG attempt to body slam them all. "**Getsuga…TENSHOU!" ** Ichigo roar with all his might as he released the biggest, non final, Getsuga Tenshou, he ever had.

***BOOOM***

"*Pant* **I can't** *pant* **Go on**" Ichigo panted as his mask shattered. He fell to his knees and looked around toward Yoruichi. "I killed 300 of these bastards there is one left he stated and glared at the GMG that remained. Soon, however, his glare turned into one of horror as the remaining GMG began to glow bright red. "MOVE!"

"**SHUNKO!"**

***BOOOM!***

**BGM: END**

**-1 hour later-**

"*Cough* what happened?" Ichigo wondered as he pushed something from on top of him. Looking down he could only watch in morbid fascination as Yourichi's lifeless body fell off of him. Tears began to fill his eyes as he realized what happened.

**-Flash-**

**BGM: Precipice of Defeat**

"_**SHUNKO!"**_ _Yoruichi roared as she flash in front of Ichigo just as the blast went off. "Might as well tell you now…" She began as the light came closer to them. "I lo-"_

_The world went white_

_And Yoruichi __**knew Pain**_

_**-**_**Flash: End-**

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what she was going to say Ichigo clenched his eyes shut as a wave of nausea went over him.

"**I'm sorry Ichigo." **Zangetsu said sincerely.** "If only the cheats work, or if-" **Her rant was cut off by the most heart breaking sound she had ever heard.

"AHHH_**RGHHHHHH"**_ The malevolent roar of the now turned vasto-lorde seemed to echo throughout the universe. Zangetsu watched sadly as I tidal wave easily bigger than the hollows they were fighting loomed over the city in Ichigos soul. Zangetsu just sat down and watched the water come towards her.

***BAM!***

Ichigo and the now submerged turned to see a figure walk out of the portal with a pissed expression on its face.

**~Flash Back one hour: BILLIONS OF MILES AWAY!~**

"Achoo!" Nagato sneezed as he walked towards the Uzumaki clan house. "_Someone somewhere has experienced a lot of pain...hmm hope they didn't get blown up." _The sky began to darken and suddenly. Through his years of ninja experience Nagato could tell something bad was about to go down and silently cursed. "Damn it of all the times for most of the clan to be out on missions, why today?" Nagato muttered to himself as a bright flash of purple landed in the center of the village.

***BAM***

The resulting shock wave destroyed most of the village by itself, but luckily Nagato managed to counter most of the explosion with a powerful **Shinra Tensei.** Thanks to Nagato's jutsu the Clan house and its inhabitants were spared.

Let me rephrase that.

The clan house and it's, now awakened and pissed off, inhabitants were spared.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? ~TTEBANE!" A now pissed off girl covered in a golden flame with whisker marks appeared in a yellow flash next to Nagato.

"I must say… I am very displeased when my beauty sleep is interrupted." Came a voice as the air next to flaming girl became distorted. From the air pocket appeared a tall rave haired female who had a crimson right eye with three pupils surrounding the center pupil. Her long hair covered her left eye from view.

**BGM: NARUTO SHIPPUDEN OST2: Kakuten!**

"Naruko look out!" Nagato yelled as what looked like a pitch black figure appeared behind her. Looking closer at the figure it could be described as nothing more than a shadow with blank white anbu mask. Its right arm was distorted into what looked like a pitch black katana blade. The blade was aimed at Naruko's back, but luckily she managed to flash away just in time.

"What the hell!" Naruko shouted at the figure. "Who are you and why are you destroying my home!"

"…" the figure said before two more identical figures appeared on its left and right. With no more words the figures attacked.

"**Shinra…TENSEI!" **Nagato used his noob repllent…er… _signature Jutsu_ on the figures but to his and his clan mates, surprise the figures acted as if a gust of when hit them and kept running at them, not slowing down in the slightest.

"**Planetary Rasengan!"** Naruko yelled as she flashed in front of the first figure and planted the devastating attack into its chest, but to her horror the technique began to sink into its black skin and reform in the figure's left hand.

"**[Planetary Rasengan X 10]" **Naruko's voice came from the figure as it launched its attack at Naruko who flashed to the side as the attack hit the ground next to her.

***BOOOM***

The explosion was greater than Naruko could believe. It was so great that the shockwave flung her into a tree and Nagato into the side of the house. Madara just faded through it though.

…that lucky bitch.

"You know Madara that is not fair." Naruko deadpanned as she flashed next to her best friend.

"You mad?" Madara asked with _**The Original Uchiha smirk™**_

"Not now you troll." Naruko stated while shaking her head at Madara's antics. "These things can copy attacks and make them at least 10 times more powerful be careful."

**BGM: END**

"Tch. It's so obvious how to beat these weaklings." Madara said with a roll of her eye as she stepped toward the three figures. Before they could do anything their masks were embedded with Kunai causing them to fall into a puddle of black liquid. "See?" Madara asked as she looked at her friend condescendingly. "Who's the noob now bitch?"

It's a love hate relationship.

"Shut up you SILF we still have to figure out where these bastards came from." Naruko growled at Madara, who had obtained a confused expression. Unbeknownst to them the three puddles began to form into one body.

"Umm guys…" Madara began to stand up as he saw the body being formed.

"Umm SILF?" Madara had to ask as she wasn't sure if she was insulted or not.

"Sociopath I'd like to Fu-" She began without missing a beat.

"GUYS!" Nagato yelled.

"What you damn P-blocker!" Naruko growled in righteous fury as Nagato deadpanned and pointed behind them. Turning around they saw a single Pitch black figure that was three times the size of the previous ones. It had three heads, six arms, and six legs. "…Fuck. Where's Naruto when you need him?"

**-Meanwhile 160 miles away-**

"Well it's time to head back." Naruto, the Rokudaime Hokage, thought to himself as he began his trek back to his village after leaving the Kage summit. "3..2.1 make some noise!" Naruto sang to himself._"Such a wonderful day look at the little woodland creatures. Nothing can go wrong…"_ Naruto suddenly stopped with wide eyes.

"**I hate you SO much right now."** Akane growled at her host as he thought the same thing she did the day she met Madara.

"Fuck." Naruto muttered to himself.

**-Konoha-**

"**[Self destruct X 30]" **

Just as the monster was about to explode Nagato shunshined infront of the monster and began to absorb the energy from the monster. Naruko and Madara gave a sigh of relief as Nagato absorbed the monster successfully.

*_CRACK*_

Madara and Naruko both paled when the unmistakable sound of Nagato's bones breaking was heard.

"Nagato whats wrong?" Madara asked the male counterpart of her previous second in command in concern.

"…It wasn't…*CRACK*…Chakra…*Crack*…Ru-"

***BOOM!***

**BGM: NARUTO OST: SADNESS AND SORROW**

The explosion rocked the very foundation of Konoha the mysterious energy hit everything including Madara. Because of Naruko's added defense she didn't get a swift death like her friend, but she wouldn't survive…and she knew it. Naruko barely had time to register the horrified expression on her husband's face. She knew he would blame himself for not being there, and she tried to reassure him that everything was ok, but the darkness came too quick.

"NARUKO!" Naruto yelled horrified at the destruction around him. He could do nothing but fall down and look at the remains of his village in morbid fascination.

**-With The Shinigami-**

"You have to send us back before he does something stupid!" The ethereal form of Madara yelled at the strongest member in her clan, who had a look of great sadness.

"_**I want to, but you two have no bodies' to return to."**_ The Shinigami said as she watched Naruko break down in tears.

**-With Naruto-**

"**Kit…" **Akane said trying to calm her host down, but it was no use as Naruto was too emotionally hurt to be helped.

"I swear…whoever did this…will _**Die.**_" Naruto growled as he stood up. "They had the nerve to come to _**my village**_ and kill _**My **_MATES!" Naruto roared as his eyes went crimson.

***BAM***

A flash of purple caught Naruto's attention as he saw a black vortex appear in the middle of his destroyed village. Trusting his faithful gut, Naruto quickly activated **Sage Mode **and his **Nine-tails Chakra Mode **and flashed toward the vortex unknowingly into one of his hardest adventures yet.

**-Fade out-**

* Intermission*

"Time for your favorite part of the movie!" Rebuke said in glee. "COMMERCIALS!"

**BGM: Bleach: Get smart**

"At Rebukes-"

"GET OFF THE FUCKING STAGE!" someone yelled at our hero.

**Record scratch**

"HEY who said that!" Rebuke yelled pulling out his gun.

"I did." Turning around Rebuke turned around just in time to get a round house kick to the jaw. A hush went over the audience as they stared at the very man who could do _anything_.

That's right.

Chuck fucking Norris.

"Let's resume the film." Chuck said before glaring at the screen forcing it to turn on as Rebuke laid face down in a puddle of his own blood.

**-Fade in-**

**~Seireitei Current time~**

As our favorite blonde haired ninja stepped out of the portal he came face to face with a creature of pure evil. It had milky white skin, long orange hair,and two horns sticking out from the side of its head. Naruto stared down at the monster before chuckling.

**Bleach Ost: Treachery**

"You're the one who destroyed my home? Funny I thought you would be stronger." Naruto said as he formed a **Rasen-shuriken** in his right hand. Ichigo in his berserk state only managed to see Naruto come out of a portal Identical to the one that caused the death of his loved ones and assumed Naruto was the reason behind his anguish.

"**Wait Ichigo it's a misunderstanding!"** Zangetsu tried to explain to Ichigo, but the water from his turmoil made her unable to be heard. Ichigo gave a final roar then attacked. Ichigo got behind Naruto in no time at all with **Tensa Zangetsu** raised high. Naruto, while surprised at Ichigo's speed, only smirked before simply dropping his justsu on the ground and flashing away from the resulting explosion.

***BOOOM***

"…**.Kill…"** Naruto heard from the cloud of dust and grinned when he saw Ichigo walked away from the crater.

"Tch. Good thing you're alive I want you to _suffer_ for what you have done!" Naruto then threw both of his arms back, formed a **Rasen-shuriken **in each, and unleashed the disks of doom at the berserk Ichigo. Ichigo growled and released two black waves of death at the disks causing the attacks to cancel each other out and cause another explosion. Naruto flashed before Ichigo in a crouch and attempted to uppercut the berserk Ichigo, but quickly found a black blade buried to the hilt through his chest.

*Poof*

"**Rasen-Rengan!"** Naruto yelled as he thrust both of the spiraling spheres into Ichigo's back pushing him forward 10 feet. _"This thing is unbelievable! He might be my match!" _Naruto thought in disbelief. Ichigo quickly spun around completely intent on beheading the blonde ninja but hit thin air as the flaming boy disappeared in a yellow flash.

"**Destroy…Youruichi…Rukia…Uryu…Chad…Orihime…"** the beast growled as it slowly approached.

"WHO ARE THEY THE REST OF THE PEOPLE YOU'VE KILLED?" Naruto roared before sending a barrage of Chakra claws at the beast in front of him. Ichigo, only understanding part of what Naruto asked, got the wrong Idea and roared again. Ichigo quickly used **Tensa Zangetsu** to decimate the claws, but when he looked for Naruto again he saw nothing. Ichigo quickly sensed Naruto behind him again and swung his blade behind him, only to miss when Naruto ducked down at the last second. **"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"** Naruto slammed his hand on the ground causing Ichigo to be surrounded by smoke. When the smoke cleared Zangetsu couldn't believe her eyes.

"**HOLY SHIT THAT'S A BIG FROG!"**

Naruto from on top of Gamabunta gave his order.

"Gamabunta the oil!" Naruto roared as the frog boss leaped into the sky and sprayed Ichigo and a lot of the surrounding area with a brown liquid. Naruto then tossed an exploding kunai at Ichigo.

***Boom***

Ichigo and the surrounding area lit up in a sea of flames and Naruto idly wondered if he got him. Naruto watched with wide eyes as a sea of black rushed at him.

*Poof*

Naruto quickly de-summoned Gamabunta and flashed to safety behind some of the debris. _"Shit this is unreal! This guy is completely tanking my strongest Jutsus!"_ Naruto thought incredulously.

**BGM: END**

"**Naruto wait!" **Akane ordered. **"Look around at the bodies lying around and tell me what you see!"**

Naruto did as he was told and couldn't help but widen his eyes.

"_Oh my God there are no slash marks!"_ Naruto thought incredulously.

"**More importantly there is no blood on his blade which only means he didn't do this. Judging by how he fights he's too wild and uncontrolled, meaning that whatever happened here must have hurt him badly."** The word's hits Naruto hard as he realized that he may have been wrong. Naruto looked up and saw something that nearly made him break down right there. Naruto sat in front of a sign that said "_Rebuke's Food Service"_. Finally the pieces started falling together.

"_FUCK! If Rebuke is here than that means…."_ Naruto closed his prayed that he was wrong. "A-a-kane…" Naruto began shakily.

"**Yes?"**

"What color was that monsters hair?" Naruto, for once in his life, prayed that the answer was blue.

"**Orange?"**

"_FUCK ICHIGO!"_ Naruto mentally roared as he realized that he might have been fighting his pseudo brother this entire time. The next thing Naruto heard chilled his blood.

"**!"**

***BOOM***

Came the roar of Ichigo as he destroyed the remains of the building Naruto was hiding behind. Naruto flashed to his feet and quickly spun around to face the demonic Ichigo.

"_Fuck! I don't have enough time to do a Jutsu! Well maybe I can by myself some time." _Naruto thought to himself.

**BGM: NARUTO SHIPPUDEN OST: HEAVEN SHAKING EVENT**

"**U-"** Naruto yelled as he released a vicious punch to Ichigo's chest.

"**ZU-" **Naruto swung his other fist making Ichigo step back from the force.

"**MA-" ** Naruto then jumped up and planted both of his feet on Ichigo's and reached forward.

"**KI-" **Grabbing Ichigo by his horns, the blonde flipped over Ichigo still holding the horns.

"**NARUTO BARRAGE!: Bull Version!"**Naruto roared and with all of his strength, tossed Ichigo across the battle field into a white tower.

"**Naruto I know how to stop him!"**

"_HOW?"_

"**When you grabbed him by the horns I notice his power slip you have to destroy them!"** Akane told her host making him smirk.

"Great I'll bring him back to his senses!"

"**!"** Ichigo began charging a ball of crimson light between his horns making Naruto Narrow his eyes.

"Tch. Let's see how he handles this." Naruto began to form an orb of darkness within his hands as he glared at Ichigo. As the size of th Crimson orb grew the weight of the black orb grew as well causing the ground to crack underneath Naruto._ "Only one shot at this."_

"**AHHHHH!"**

**-Insert cero release sound-**

"**BIJUU DAMA!" **The wave of energy released from Naruto's hands and collided with the crimson beam causing the world to be covered in a blinding light.

~**In the sea of blinding light~**

A child Naruto was standing in front of an orange haired little boy who had horns ejecting from his head. Naruto walked up to the boy and noticed that he was crying.

"_Do the horns hurt?"_ Naruto's voice echoed throughout the area making the orange haired kid look up.

"_So much…Please help me…"_The boy asked with tears in his eyes and winced when Naruto grabbed a hold of his horns.

"_You have to trust me though okay?" _Naruto asked the boy nodded his head and Naruto pulled the horns.

"_AHHHH!"_

**~Seireitei~**

**BGM: END**

Naruto back in his normal form stood tiredly in front of a weak Ichigo with both of Ichigo's horns in his hands.

"Thank you." Ichigo said before passing out.

"Any time." Naruto responded with a chuckled.

***BAM***

**BGM :Smoke Weed Every Day- Snoop Doog feat Dr. Dre**

A portal opened and a white card drove out from it and landed in front of Naruto. Naruto could only look in awe as smoke blew out of the window when the rolled down.

"HAHA Naru, my man, whats goin on?" Rebuke laughed loudly. "Yo dawg we bout to go on a big journey, I'll explain later, toss strawberry up in here so we can get out this bitch before the portal closes motha fucka!"

"_What the hell has Rebuke been hanging out with Killer bee? Oh well I get my answers soon enough." _And with that though Naruto pulled Ichigo's body into the car and rode off into the portal with Rebuke.

**~5 hours later~**

**BGM END**

**ACT 2: Search for the mystic artifacts.**

Ichigo woke up with a groan and searched his surroundings and to his surprise he was sitting in a restaurant with Rebuke and a blonde he's never met before.

"Hey look he's up." The blonde said with a smile as Ichigo wiped his eyes.

"Where am I and who are you?" Ichigo asked curiously as he was sure he had met the blonde somewhere.

"That's Naruto, Yes _THAT_ Naruto, and you are in IHOP." Rebuke said while putting apiece of pancake in his mouth. After getting over the shock of eating with one of his favorite anime characters, Ichigo had to ask…

"Why?" Ichigo asked honestly confused as hell.

"Cause Rebuke here accidently got high and now is suffering from the biggest case of munchies that I have ever seen." Naruto said seriously. Ichigo just shook his head before remembering what exactly happened before he lost control.

"OH MY GOD EVERY-"

"CALM DOWN!" Rebuke shouted before sighing. "Yes a lot of your friends are dead but I plan to fix that, however, to do that would require that you keep a level head ok?" Rebuke waited for Ichigo nod his head. "Good now eat your pancakes they're getting cold."

**-30 minutes later-**

"Ok…" Rebuke placed his fork down with a sigh. "Ok here's the deal in order for me to bring your loved ones back I'm going to need to get my power-" Rebuke stopped and shook his head with a grimace. "An object back called the Arcana Force." Rebuke corrected himself. "But in order to do that I need to acquire three hidden objects that will allow us to travel to the edge of the universe and bring it back." Rebuke said seriously. "Now we need to put our heads together as the first hidden object we need to find is the **Golden** **Cat statue.** The clue that I have is only one word: **Cake"** Rebuke frowned as he tried to decipher the meaning, "What the hell is cake going to mean?"

**BGM: Detective Conan Main Theme**

"Well cake is sweet?" Ichigo put in with a sweat drop as Zangetsu snorted.

"**No shit Ichigo, that has to be the dumbest thing you have ever-"**

"THAT'S IT!" Rebuke exclaimed with wide eyes as Zangetsu sputtered in disbelief.

"What do you mean?" Naruto inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"Tell me what the opposite of sweet is?" Rebuke asked with a grin.

"Sour." Naruto said with a raised eyebrow.

"Great now tell me what the key ingredient in Cake is?" Rebuke asked his companions again.

"Milk right?" Ichigo asked uncertainly and Rebuke grinned wider.

"And tell me my friend just what is sour milk?" Rebuke asked once again.

"Bad." Naruto said with complete seriousness as he rubbed his stomach unconsciously.

"Exactly and whose the baddest of the bad?" Rebuke's grin was beginning to scare them and Ichigo could feel Zangetsu's mind being broken by this conversation.

"The Devil." An old religious lady said from the table across from them making Rebuke sweat drop.

"Err thanks ma'am." Rebuke turned back to his sweat dropping teammates. "And WHAT gentlemen is the Devil often paired up with?" Rebuke asked with an even larger grin as Ichigo began to catch on.

"Sin." Ichigo replied with a confident smirk.

"EXACTLY AND WHERE IS THE EASIEST PLACE TO SIN?" Rebuke was standing up at this point, and Naruto looked on in confusion as Ichigo stood up and walked towards the exit alongside Rebuke.

"Hey where are you going? Don't leave me-ttebayo!" Naruto yelled indignantly. Ichigo and Rebuke turned back to him with identical shit-eating grins and spoke in perfect unison.

"**LAS VEGAS BITCHES!" **The yelled in perfect synch and exited the door with Naruto running close behind.

"HEY YOU ASS HOLES FORGOT TO PAY!" A pissed off waiter yelled at their backs. Rebuke turned back to the waiter with a smirk.

"Put it on my tab mister. Dragon and Sword master."

**BGM: END**

**~ 2 days later~**

**BGM: Viva Las Vegas**

"Great so were in Vegas but where do we look?" Ichigo asked curiously as Rebuke parked in front of a building called AJ Lexie's. 

"Before we go anywhere in fucking Vegas, were not going to be looking like cosplayers." Rebuke deadpanned gesturing down to his assassin outfit, Naruto's Hokage robes, and Ichigo's samurai get up. Ichigo scratched his head sheepishly before a thought occurred to him.

"Wait a second what the hell? People can see me?" Ichigo asked in disbelief as Naruto got confused.

"This isn't _your_ earth this earth is the most normal one out of all of them no ninjas, no hollows, no homicidal demons. Just regular people, so your rules don't apply here and everyone can see you." Rebuke then climbed out of the car a gestured for them to follow him. "Don't worry I have connections."

**-AJ Lexies-**

**BGM: END**

**BGM: Flawless-George Michael**

The three heroes were greeted by a blonde haired blue eyed woman at the front desk.

"Rebuke! It's good to see you again how can I help you?" She asked with a smile.

"Well as you see I have a ninja and a soul reaper with me, that doesn't exactly blend in, so we're going to need some suits." He said producing a card and handing to her.

"I'll be right back!" She said cheerfully before swiping the card. She came back with a bundle of clothes as Ichigo's eyes got wide.

"How exactly are we going to afford this?" He asked nervously as Rebuke shook his head.

"Don't worry it's on me besides it's a little late to ask that now that you are wearing the clothes don'tcha think?" Rebuke asked with a raised eyebrow. Confused Ichigo looked down and to his amazement he was already sporting a black suit with the jacket open and his shirt un-tucked he also noticed that the room got darker and felt his face only to find he was wearing sunglasses.

"What the …"

"…Fuck!" Naruto exclaimed as he looked down he was wearing a similar suit as Ichigo only with the jacket closed and the shirt tucked. Instead of wearing sunglasses he felt his head and noticed that his Hokage hat was replaced with a black fedora. They both turned back to Rebuke to see that he had on a black vest over a white dress shirt, black dress slacks, black dress shoes, and the pair of sunglasses from earlier.

"Now you see why I shop here?" Rebuke deadpanned. "Excellent and speedy service."

"But I thought you said this was a normal earth! I barely saw her move!" Naruto asked a little peeved that a ninja of his caliber was just one-upped in the speed department. Rebuke just shrugged as a sign he didn't know how she did it either. Naruto sighed and began to walk back toward the exit before freezing. "…Rebuke…"

"Yes?"

"Why am I wearing silk boxers…?" Ichigo paled a reached down and realized he was in the same boat as Naruto.

"*whistles* Damn girl you got better?" Rebuke asked with a raised eyebrow as he saw the blonde twirling a pair of froggy boxers on her right index finger. She just smirked and handed him the bag with their old clothes.

"Don't be a stranger." She said to Rebuke as he, Ichigo, and Naruto began to exit the building. He gave a short wave in acknowledgement before exiting the building with his companions.

**BGM: END**

**-Outside-**

"So now where?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow as they got in the car.

"Tell me what another name for cat is?" Rebuke asked Naruto blushed and Ichigo grinned.

"I don't understand what THAT has to do with anything." Naruto deadpanned as Ichigo and Rebuke shared a look and spoke in perfect unison.

"**Girls Girls Girls!"**

**-45 minutes later-**

"Ok here's the deal." Rebuke said as he parked the car. "Inside there is going to be a guardian protecting the statue and the only way we can get it is by defeating him, but the problem is due to my lack of Arcana Force there are no cheats, no bonuses, no access to avatars, or health recovery items. It's do or die." Rebuke said seriously as they exited the car. Naruto grimaced.

"Damn if only there was some way to increase our odds." Naruto then stopped and grinned. He discretely made some clones and made them sneak into the club. Naruto caught up in his attempt to show up Rebuke and Ichigo did not notice Ichigo grab the Mp3 player from the glove compartment or Rebuke hang up his phone.

**-In the club-**

The three looked around the club before spotting what they came for the small golden cat statue sitting on the counter of the bar. Deciding to get this over with Naruto raised his hands which signaled the hidden clones to swarm the bartender.

"NARUTOOO UZUMAKIIIIIII" the clones and the original yelled as they jumped at the statue much to Rebuke and Ichigo's disbelief. Rebuke recovered first.

"Shit stick to the plan!" Rebuke ordered as he pulled his trust gun to his temple and pulled the trigger.

*CRACK*

"**Yoshitsune…" **The red clad samurai appeared behind Rebuke just as he, Naruto, and Ichigo were warped to what appeared to be a bizarre desert. The sand was pitch black and the sky dark but illuminated by a crimson moon. Rebuke sighed before glaring at Naruto "Damnit man! What the hell?"

"I thought I could grab it and steal it and avoid conflict I AM a ninja afterall-ttebayo." Naruto deadpanned. He quickly tossed a kunai behind him when he heard a noise. Rebuke and Ichigo set up their guard in case things got messy.

***BAM***

They shielded their eyes as a purple flash struck between then causing them to fly back. When they opened their eyes they saw a skeleton dressed in a black garment holding a scythe.

"**So you are the ones who tried to take MY treasure…"** The skeleton asked with a tilt of its head. **"Well good luck for there is no hope to defeat me for I am the only Grim reaper. I. AM. Death." ** Death's voice boomed through the desert. He waited for their reactions of fear, but what he got instead was…

"BULLLSHITTT." Courtesy of Naruto.

"*Snort* Cool story bro." Via one unimpressed Ichigo Kurosaki.

"SWEET GOD TAKE ME AWAY NOW!" from Rebuke.

"**Wha-"** Death was absolutely flabbergasted at the reactions. Naruto stepped forward with a raised eyebrow.

"Mother fucker I've _literally_ had an orgy with the fucking Shinigami-Queen do you HONESTLY thing I'm going to be impressed by your bullshit." Naruto deadpanned making Death step back in shock as he could sense no lies from the blonde. Ichigo was next.

"And I AM a grim reaper as a part time job AND I'm one of the strongest. You think you're good? You think YOU have game? Well game recognizes game and you look unfamiliar as fuck right now."

"Achoo!"

"Bless you Naruto." Ichigo said to his friend before turning back to the scared skeleton.

"For the love of God I've been around for CENTURIES! Take me out now!" Rebuke exclaimed as he fell down in front of the skeleton and bowed his head. "Here's a clean view of my neck do it now!" Rebuke begged making the Skeleton scurry back in fear.

"**WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? I'm getting the fuck out of here!"** Death was so scared, in fact, he didn't even try to fade away he just ran off but too his dismay our heroes followed him.

"Get back here with our cat you ass hole!" Ichigo roared before he put his mp3 player on speaker and began blasting his favorite song.

**BGM: Bleach OST: Number one**

"**That's right show them the power of a badass!" **Zangetsu commanded as Ichigo suddenly gained a burst of speed and tackled the skeleton to the ground causing the dimension to shatter as they reappeared in the parking lot of the club.

"**You'll never get this cat from me!"** Death roared as he flung Ichigo off of him and continued to make a run for it. Ichigo was about to Getsuga the wannabe reaper to oblivion, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. Turning around he came face to face with Rebuke who, with a phone to his ear, shook his head.

"Malix2 do it now." Rebuke said in monotone making Ichigo and Naruto glace at him in confusion then turn back to the running skeleton.

***BOOM!***

_*Thud*_

"Headshot!" Came a voice the echoed through the night sky and Rebuke's phone.

"Good job and keep up the reviews." And with that Rebuke hung up his cell and quickly jogged towards the skeleton and pulled off its mask revealing him to be….

"…_Err isn't this the guy whose car I stole?"_ Rebuke thought with a sweat drop. _"What the hell? Was he following me?"_ Rebuke picked up the cat statue and walked back to his teammates and climbed into the Rebuke-mobile. Naruto was the first to ask the obvious question.

"What now?"

"Simple this will create a portal leading us the last two artifacts: The Rain Bow crystal and the Prisim of Power." Rebuke said, but quickly gained a solemn expression. "But for its power to be used the user will give up his most _precious possession._ Problem now is who uses it? It doesn't matter in the long run for if I get the Arcana Force back I should be able to replace whatever was lost." The silence was deafening before Ichigo gained a determined look.

"Well gentlemen there is only one way to settle this, a free for all battle to the finish, no holding back." Ichigo said as the other two nodded. "Well then shall we begin?" One more concerned glace was shared between the group before they all pulled back their fists.

"ROCK"

"PAPER"

"SCISSORS!"

"SON OF A BITCH!"

**~10 minutes later~**

The group was driving through a purple tunnel after the portal was opened. The silence in the car was incredible until Naruto spoke.

"You know Ichigo I don't believe I have ever been in such _lovely_ company." Naruto mused as Ichigo glanced at him.

"I know right? We are so lucky to have such an _attractive_ chauffeur…" Ichigo trailed off as he saw the barrel of a gun pointing in his face.

*_Click*_

"_Unless you want to help change the color of those white seats to red I'd suggest shutting the fuck up."_ Came the _feminine_ growl from the Game-Mast-er _Mistress_** (AN: SON OF A BITCH! WHY THE FUCK DO I USE PAPER SO MUCH?)**

**~At end of tunnel~**

Our heroes and…._heroine_ exited the car after parking on the grass of the field; there was no civilization for miles it seemed.

**BGM: Persona 4: I'll face my self-battle-**

"**My my what do we have here?"** Came the venomous voice of Shadow-Izanami as she faded into view behind Rebuke and gave her an appreciative glance. "**Appears we are more alike than I figured." **She raised an eyebrow at the growl she received, but continued nonetheless. "**I assume you are going to be after my artifacts hmm?"** Izanami asked with a tilt of her head. **"If you can beat me they are yours."**

"Fine then Ichigo…Naruto... let's get ready…" Rebuke said as she pulled out a second gun.

"Nah… this one's all you sis!" Naruto said giving her the nice guy pose as Ichigo mirrored his actions. Rebuke gaped at them for a second before finally asking.

"…What?"

"Well considering she is YOUR responsibility and a part of YOU and how this whole mess is kind of YOUR fault we figured YOU should be the one to defeat YOUR shadow." Naruto said before unsealing two lawn chairs and some ramen bowls.

"Besides…" Ichigo began as he sat down." This whole trip, excluding the last 30 minutes, was a sausage fest and I can use a good old fashion cat-fight…Good luck!" Ichigo said giving her a thumbs up.

"YOU BASTARDS!"

"You mad?" Ichigo and Naruto asked in perfect unison while wearing identical shit eating grins. Rebuke was tempted to shoot them, but she had to dodge an ebony spear that tore her vest off.

"THAT'S WHAT I"M TALKING ABOUT-TEBBAYO!"

"I HATE YOU ALL!" Rebuke yelled in righteous furry before unloading a clip of bullets at her former servant.

"Aww who the hell brings guns to a spear fight?" Ichigigo complained as Naruto slurped his ramen.

"A smart ass mother fucker." Naruto answered seriously.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP IN THE PEANUT GALLERY!" Rebuke ordered before pulling her evoker to her head.

*CRACK*

"**[Elec Boost]"**

*Crack*

"**[Ziodyne]" **Yoshitsune crossed his blades and released a powerful wave of lightning at a bored looking Izanami who yawned.

"**Such a bore let me remind you what a REAL electric attack is**."Izanami smirked as she side stepped the blast of lightining. "**[Mind Charge]" **Izanami felt her attacking power double instantly before she raised her hand at a wide-eyed Rebuke. **[Oho-Ikazuchi]** The wave of lightning was so big that Ichigo, who had not seen that combination before did a spit-take with his ramen. Naruto gave him a mock glare

*BOOM*

"Don't waste the ramen!"

"But did you SEE that? I shouldn't have let you talk me out of helping there's no way Rebuke could survive THAT head on!"

"Doesn't matter Rebuke already won." Naruto said with a sigh as Ichigo gave him an Incredulous look. "You didn't see Rebuke's face that attack was EXACTLY what she wanted."

"Heh you are strong Izanami but you forget without me you ARE NOTHING!" Rebuke roared as Yoshitsune's body was over flowing with power making Izanami's eyes widen. "You are too cocky without me and cannot access your true form without a host." Rebuke declared as Izanami was too shocked to move. "Tch. Yoshitsune stop holding the electricity, you can relax now I said my words to the trash." Rebuke turned around as soon Yoshitsune released the blast.

***BOOM***

**BGM: END**

Rebuke walked up to Naruto, who had blank expression on his face.

"Good you're finished eating, I need you to make some clones to go grab the last two artifacts." Rebuke said as she stretched her arms. Naruto did as he was asked, but as soon as the clones disappeared…

**BGM: Persona 4: I'll face myself(Regular)**

*SMACK*

The force of the blow made Rebuke's head snap to the side.

"DAMMMNNNN" That came from Ichigo

"What the hell was wrong with you? I TOLD you to look after her better and all you did was nearly destroy her!" Naruto yelled at the white haired girl. Whose eyes widened in shock.

"Nearly?" Glancing to the side she could still see Izanami breathing her body began to fade away. "Tch." Rebuke raised her gun and took aim at the back of her servants head.

*Click*

***BAM!***

The bullet embedded itself one inch away from Izanami courtesy of Naruto smacking Rebukes hand at the last second.

"DAMNIT! REBUKE WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO DESTROY HER!"

"WHY! She tried to kill me TWICE for something that was HER fault and not only that but…"

"BUT WHAT!"

"She's the fucking reason I'm Immortal! If I get rid of her I'll be able to rest in peace!" Rebuke roared as she took aim again.

"DON'T!"

*click*

*click*

*click**Click**Click*

"Damnit!" Rebuke roared as he tossed her gun onto the ground with tears in her eyes.

"Give up and calm down!" Naruto ordered as he put a hand on her shoulder. Rebuke took a deep breath before standing up and began walking toward the fading woman.

"REBU-"

"Stop." Ichigo told Naruto. "Trust her I've seen that look in people's eye before it was one of hatred, but now it's of determination. so just Shut up and watch."

**-With Rebuke and Izanami-**

Rebuke lied down next to the fading woman and gave a humorless laugh before turning to the shocked shadow.

"You know…my gun makes its own bullets…for it to misfire five times means that the gods have cursed you to live huh?"

"**What do you mean I'm fading away here!" **Izanami yelled as Rebuke shook her head with a small smile.

"Tell me do you want to die?"

"**Yes! I hate living as much as you so this is perfect!"** Izanami glared at the woman next to her fiercely.

"Well…I've been thinking…" Rebuke began with a small grin. "Since you did try to kill me TWICE your punishment is…Life." Rebuke smile larger as Izanami's eyes widened. "Well it seems weird that only part of me gets to die while the rest is trapped for eternity in this fucked up place called life." Rebuke answered Izanami's unanswered question. "I am thou and thou art I …or however that saying goes." Rebuke said dismissively.

"**Wha-"**

"Geez how many ways do I have t say it! Even though you are acting slow as hell right now. YOU. ARE. ME." And with that Izanami's body was engulfed in a bright light, and where her body once was laid a card that had a picture of a pale skinned, crimson eyed, and white haired goddess. The card flew in to Rebuke's body and into the sea of her soul. Rebuke lied on the ground for another half an hour with a small smile as Ichigo and Naruto smirked.

**~45 minutes later~**

**ACT3: Finale**

"So now what?" Ichigo asked Rebuke curiously.

"NOW we got to the edge and get my dick back." Rebuke muttered to herself.

"Okay put the cat, prism, and crystal together so we can get there-ttebayo!" Naruto yelled enthusiastically as Ichigo nodded his head in agreement. Rebuke began to put the pieces together, but paled when e realized what the shape had made.

"Dear lord KN-" Rebuke's yell was cut off by the most annoying sound ever.

**BGM:Nyan-Cat**

"_**NOOOOOOOOO!"**_ Rebuke, Naruto, Ichigo, even Akane, Izanami, and Zangetsu yelled in perfect unison. The small Cat began to run in front of them and jump into the sky creating a rainbow bridge to the stars.

**-50 minutes later-**

"SON OF A BITCH!" Ichigo yelled from the passenger seat as they continued to follow the cat through space itself as they followed the cat for almost an hour. Rebuke's hand were snow white from clutching steering wheel hard as she growled through gritted teeth.

"I will destroy that cat!" She growled with an insane expression on her face silently wanting to do nothing but kill the cat and Naruto at the moment.

**-Flash back 48 minutes-**

"Fuck that!" Naruto growled as he covered his ears. HE turned to the Rebuke-Mobile and began to walk towards it with a purpose.

"Where you going?" Rebuke asked as she followed him. Naruto gave a smirk and slapped the back of the car causing a seal to appear on it. He gave her the Uzumaki grin as she gritted her teeth. "Hell no."

"Yup! Have fun driving behind the kitty I'm going to just teleport there when you reach the destination have fun!-ttebayo" Naruto chirped as Ichigo and Rebuke had to stop themselves from destroying the blonde haired asshole in front of them.

**-Present-**

"Look a portal!"Ichigo pointed out toward the rainbow ring that had opened up at the end of the road. Rebuke smirked before flooring the car so that they wouldn't have to deal with anymore of that horrible music.

***BAM!***

**BGM: END**

**-BILLIONS OF MILES AWAY!-**

Rebuke and Ichigo drove out of the portal and landed on a cliff in front of 900 GMG's. Looking around they could see that they landed on top of some purple canyon.

"…..oh this isn't good." Ichigo muttered as Naruto flashed toward their location.

"Maybe not, but this going to be easy as fuck." Naruto said simply as Rebuke nodded her head in agreement.

"ARE YOU CRAZY? Do you know how long it took me to beat 300 of these freaks?" Ichigo roared as Naruto and Rebuke shared a wide-eyed look.

*snort*

"*cough* noob*cough*"

Ichigo glared at his two companions fiercely as they tried to suppress their laughter. Rebuke turned to Naruto after getting her laughter out.

"Naruto I know this may be hard for you to understand, but even though Ichigo is just as strong as us…"She trailed off before her laughter came back again. Shaking her head she continued. "…He only has ONE move." She said in complete seriousness as Naruto gaped at her.

"…That's so STUPID! I mean who tries to get by using only ONE mov-"He stopped when Rebuke and Ichigo both gave him pointed looks. "**Rasengan** and **Kage Bunshin** are TWO moves thank you very much!" Rebuke just shook her head before looking at the GMG's

"Okay this is what's going to happen we are going to split them up evenly. We each get 300 now I'm going to need you to buy me some time so I can wipe them out-"

"ICHIGOOOOOOO KUROSAKIIIIIIIIIIII" Ichigo roared as he charged at the giant hollows. Naruto gaped before finally spluttering.

'"…Oh my God…He just ran in…" Naruto said in a horrified whisper making Rebuke grab her hair.

"I HATE YOU BOTH!" Rebuke growled before shaking her head." Just leave him we'll get him eventually let's just take out our 600." Naruto nodded a disappeared in a swirl of leaves Rebuke turned to her group and raised her gun.

**-With Ichigo-**

**BGM: Bleach OST: Chokkaku**

Ichigo rammed his blade through the mask of the first GMG.

"**Ban…KAI!"** The beam that erupted from his blade continued forward and destroyed 10 hollows behind the first one.

"290 to go…" Ichigo muttered be for teleporting in the middle of the group via Shunpo. **"Getsuga…TENSHOU!" **The ebony wave quickly decimated whoever was foolish enough to run at him first.

**-With Naruto-**

**BGM-intterupted!-**

**BGM:Naruto: Ost Lightning speed!**

"**Tajuu!:Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" **Thousands of Naruto's quickly filled the area with Three Pronged Kunai in their hands. **"Kunai: Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"** the battle field and the hollows were quickly field with Kunai as Naruto smirked and disappeared in a yellow flash. Naruto quickly reappeared with a smirk. "Like a Boss." Naruto said as he began walking toward Rebuke as all his enemies fell apart in thousands of pieces.

**-With Rebuke-**

**BGM: Interrupted!**

**BGM: Persona 3: Mass Destruction**

Rebuke looked at her enemies with a bored stare before pulling the trigger of his gun.

*Crack*

"**Yoshitsune" ** As the Red-clad samurai appeared Rebuke sides stepped a blow from one of the berserk Hollows.

*Crack*

**[Heat Riser]** Rebuke smirked as she began to feel her power increase as he dodged more of the blows.

*CRACK*

**[Power Charge]**

"_Great now that my attack power has increased by 140% I'll destroy these noobs once and for all."_ Rebuke thought with an evil smirk as she shot herself one last time

*Crack*

**[Hassou Tobi]** The world area seemed to turn black and white with only the color of Yoshitsune's crimson armor showing through. The Samurai stepped forward with his swords drawn and sheathed them with a resounding *Click*. One by one, eight giant crimson slash appeared on the ground as all of the enemies gained eight severe gashes on their bodies. The hollows couldn't even screetch before they fell apart into eight huge chunks and disappeared in the air.

**BGM:END**

"Hmm not bad I might wanna have a rematch-ttebayo!" Rebuke glanced at his blonde friend for a second and they both soon erupted in a fit of laughter.

**-A few minutes later-**

"I'm done…and so are you…" Ichigo said with a sweat drop as he walked toward his companions who were playing poker Rebuke just shook her head as she stood up.

"Noob." Naruto muttered causing Ichigo to glare at him. They all turned to a cave and began walking toward it.

"The Arcana Force should be at the end of this cave. Now we can get your friends and my gender back." Rebuke stated happily as they walked toward to cave.

**-At the end of the Cave-**

As they exited the cave they quickly realized that they were in a room of white. It was filled with nice white furniture and even had a big screen TV. Naruto and Ichigo looked around in awe before quickly spotting a pitch black orb that had a floating white "0" in the center. Naruto turned toward Rebuke.

"Hey is that the Ar-"He stopped when he saw the look of pure disbelief on his once male friend's face.

*SMACK*

"I don't believe it…" Rebuke growled from beneath her hand, she wasted no time in summoning her white haired servant.

*Crack*

"**Izanami…"** Rebuke growled her name, but not because she summoned her.

Oh no.

She was **PISSED **and Izanami knew it.

"_**Yes...Mas-er-Mistress?"**_ She asked nervously as Rebuke glared at her. HARD

"Tell me what do you see?" She asked calmly.

"_**The Arcana Force"**_

"And where is it?"

"_**In a couch"**_

"And where are WE." Rebuke growled as Naruto started to get an idea of what was going on.

"Oh you have got to be shitting me-ttebayo!"

"_**Our living room."**_ Izanami spoke, now hiding behind Ichigo who was doing a great combination of gaping and glaring.

*RING*

"WHAT!" Rebuke yelled as she answered her phone.

"_AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH-"_ Rebuke could hear Rose and Igor laughing there asses off and hung up the phone.

*Snap*

Before Rebuke could get in a fight with her servant AGAIN, she heard an evil chuckle and came face to face with a petite red haired girl, with bright blue eyes who now had the orb in her hand. She also wore a black Kimono with a flame pattern on the edges.

"_**Alice…"**_Rebuke roared as the girl gave him a large grin.

"Well hello Rebuke-**CHAN"**

-cue eye twitch-

"Thank you so much for keeping this safe for me all of these years." She said sincerely although everyone one could see the evil intent in her eyes. "Now I can use this to fuse myself with the shadow of the Universe's greatest Warrior and Rule EVERYTHING!*giggle*" Naruto gained a determined look as Rebuke and Ichigo paled.

"Like you are going to get my shadow-ttebayo." Naruto yelled as he got into a fighting stance making the girl snort at him.

"Please you weakling like I would dirty my perfect form with YOUR shadow. " The orb in her hand glowed bright purple before a resounding crack filled the room as a portal appeared in the center of the room. Slowly but surely a tall figure began to step out of the portal "I'm going to use…"

"…Goku…" Ichigo murmured with wide eyes as Rebuke took a step back in horror. Naruto gained a confused look.

"…Who?"

"You know how I told you that your reality may be another one's fiction?" Naruto nodded his head as Rebuke continued. "Well from the book you and Ichigo are from…He would be your king." Naruto snapped his head toward her in disbelief. "In fact HE'S the reason you wear orange." That caused Naruto to step back as well. They watched as Alice faded into the blue Goku with yellow eyes.

"Crap come on guys we have to pull together we can't lose now!" Ichigo yelled making Rebuke stop shaking and make Naruto get into a fighting stance.

"Ok here's the pla-"Rebuke sadly never got to finish her orders as Goku teleported right in front of her.

*BAM*

*Crash*

Rebuke was launched from the living room and crashed into the stove in her kitchen courtesy of Goku's right hand. She slumped to the ground in a bloody heap. Ichigo and Naruto looked in shock as the evil Saiyan turned back toward them.

**BGM: Bleach OST Stand up be strong pt 1**

"_Fuck I'm going to have to use it!"_ Ichigo thought as he activated his Final Getsuga Tenshou. He was then engulfed in black energy. Naruto, having similar thoughts as Ichigo, activated his **Sage Mode **and** Nine-tails Chakra Mode.**

***BOOM***

The amount of power being emitted destroyed a majority of the house sending everyone outside to the canyon.

"**Go ahead do your worst."** Shadow Goku said with a smirk as Ichigo, in final Getsuga form, and Naruto landed in front of him.

"**Naruto…even though he's stronger he'll still be unable to survive if we hit him with our hardest attacks."** Ichigo whispered to Naruto. **"Quick prepare a Biju-what!"**

**BGM:Interrupted!**

**BGM: Super Saiyan 3 transformation.**

"**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**

"Why can't we MOVE!"Naruto panicked as Goku began to cause shock waves.

"**"**

"**I don't Know! Fuck is **_**this why enemies let the heroes charge their attacks in DBZ?"**_ Ichigo thought to himself incredulously.

"**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**

"How long is he going to be doing this!"

**-5 minutes later-**

"**AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**

***BOOM***

When the smoke cleared the heroes came face to face with Goku in his Super Saiyan 3 transformation. Although his Hair was Bright purple and his eyes were red.

**-With Rebuke-**

"_Shit how long was I out?"_ Rebuke glanced toward her destroyed guns. _"SHIT! Oh well gotta summon her the boring way."_ Rebuke held out her right hand as a card appeared in it. As soon as it did she crushed it within her palm summoning her faithful summon next to her. "Izanami help me up we have to get to my weapons room I know how to take him out, but we have to hurry before he decides to planet bust!"

**-With Naruto-**

"PLANET BUST! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME HE CAN DO THAT! THAT'S BULL SHIT!" Naruto yelled after Ichigo told him what he feared Goku would do with that amount of energy. Ichigo just nodded his head grimly.

"**And with this output he might take out the moon and Venus as well."** Ichigo said seriously making Naruto pale more before finally saying something he thought he would NEVER say.

"I quit." Naruto said seriously as he depowered

"**What?"** Ichigo said in shock.

"You don't HONESTLY think you have a chance do you? Mr. one move." Naruto deadpanned.

"**YOU…have a **point. " Ichigo said depowering as well with a sweat drop.

"Sides it won't be too bad, dying that is." Naruto continued at Ichigo's confused look. "Hmm? Oh I was serious, I'm fucking death." Ichigo gaped at him.

"*Sigh* Whatever. It would take a miracle…any..way…" Ichigo slowed down as Naruto smirked.

"All according to plan-ttebayo!" Naruto yelled making everyone look at him. Even Goku.

"**What are you weaklings talking about?"** Goku-Alice snapped making Naruto grin largely at her.

"Well by pretending that I, Naruto-never-say- quit- Uzumaki, had finally given up it caused Ichigo to give up aswell."

"**Okay so…?"**

"When someone who is truly without hope is fighting an unbeatable enemy, and say "It will take a miracle" that miracle tends to happen." Naruto said seriously as Ichigo smirked. Goku just rolled his eyes and prepared a **Kamehameha.**

"Hey you eye browless-freak! Turn Around!" Shocked Shadow-Goku turned just in time to see Rebuke standing there with a bow and arrow. Growling Goku released the beam just as Rebuke released the arrow.

*Shtck!*

***Boom!* **And the word went white.

**BGM: End**

**~Days later~ **

**BGM: Persona 3: Memories of You**

The now Male Rebuke stood in front of Ichigo and Naruto with a sad smile.

"Well it was fun, but now that I've fixed your planets it's time for you to go."

*snap!*

As Naruto and Ichigo began to fade away Naruto yelled one thing to his new friend.

"Hey Ichigo! Don't worry about having to girls that like you, if you're like me it'll work out in the end. Just go with the flow!" Ichigo just nodded with a smile and disappeared. Rebuke sighed when his friends left and turned toward Izanami.

"Izanami…"

"_**Yes?"**_ She asked nervously.

"Let's get back to work." And with that Rebuke walked back to his house leaving a stunned Izanami behind him.

"_**Yes Master!"**_

**-With Naruto-**

"How did the meeting go?" Naruko asked curiously as Naruto reentered his house. Naruto pulled her into a hug and twirled her around.

"Do I have a story to tell you-ttebayo!"

**-With Ichigo-**

Ichigo shook as he realized Yoruichi was standing in front of him trying to get his attention.

"Hurry up Ichigo we have to get to Kukkaku's house by night time!" Yoruichi said with an eye-twitch as Ichigo smiled.

**-With the Shinigami-**

"You know I used to be an omnipotent goddess just like you." The ethereal figure of Alice said with a sigh making the the Shinigami raise an eyebrow.

"_**What happened?"**_

"I took an arrow to the knee…"

**FIN**

**ANNNNNNNNNNND CUT! How was that? Did that make up for the lack of updates?**

**Outtakes**

**~Outtake one~**

"Hey do you still hurt from when I pulled the horns out?" Naruto asked Ichigo gently. Ichigo shook his head with a small smile.

"Not with you here it doesn't…"

**BGM: Careless whisper(instrumental)~ George Michael: Sax version**

"Ichigo…"

"…Naruto…

"No homo right?" Rebuke asked them with a raised eyebrow as Naruto turned to him with flames in his eyes.

"ALL OF THE HOMO!"

**CUT!**

**~Outtake 2~**

Looking back at rebuke they could see that he was dressed in…

…nothing but his boxers what the fuck?

"DAMNIT!"

"Sorry I sneezed." The blonde said while blowing her nose.

**CUT!**

**~Outtake 3~**

"Do it now." Rebuke said to the phone before feeling great pain then nothing.

"BOOM HEADSHOT!...Rebuke…Rebuke…oh sh-

**CUT!**

**Credit to CardGamesFTW for the no homo scene.**

**For all of you who don't get why goku got beat by an arrow why don't you read some comments for about 10 minutes on ANY skyrim video on youtube before you flame.**

**READ AND REVIEW**

**AND I'll Get back to Bakudo X later**

**Your favorite, and happily male, crack author**

**~RebukeX7**


	11. Rescue Rukia pt 3

**I do not own Bleach but I do have a bottle of tide in my laundry room O-o**

**Warnings….Fuck it I'm not going over this again.**

Chapter 10: Rescue Rukia pt 3

Hanataro's Ascension

**~Seireitei: Uryu~**

**BGM: Bleach Comical world**

We can now find the young Quincy shooting arrows at random Shinigami with a scowl on her face.

"_I Swear to God when I find Ichigo I will destroy him…"_ Uryu thought to herself as she came face to face with some strange Shinigami that has pinwheels spiraling around him. _"Who the hell was this ass whole again?"_

"Prepare! For I will defeat y-"

"Arrow to the knee" Uryu cut him off as she shot him in the knee before running up and kicking him in the face. "Fucking noobs."

**-Flash back-**

As the group prepared to enter the cannon Ichigo turned to Yoruichi with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" The Former captain asked.

"Are _All_ your friends that hot? I mean damn I wouldn't mind staying here for a few days after we save Rukia." Ichigo deadpanned making the purple haired woman shake her head.

"Just shut up and get ready."

**-Over the Seireitei-**

"Okay here's the plan." Uryu said as they entered the Seireitei. " Since were managing to stay together, it would be a good Idea to stay in a group once we land that way we will have the advantage in num-"

"ICHIGO KUROSAKI!"

**BOOOM**

And with that the cannon exploded separating Ichigo's party…again.

"DAMNIT ICHIGO I WHEN I FIND YOU I WILL DESTROY YOU!" was the last thing Ichigo would here from his archer for awhile.

**-Ten minutes later: Ichigo's location-**

As Ichigo ran through the streets of the Seireitei he grimaced.

"_Damn I wanted Orihime to land near me so I could have a medic. Oh well we can't all have what we want in life. After all It's not the about hand that you're dealt…" _Ichigo began to himself with a smirk as he saw a familiar face. "…BUT HOW YOU'RE PLAYING YOUR CARDS!" Ichigo roared as he delivered a vicious right to the unsuspecting Shinigami before grabbing him and carrying him away on his shoulder fireman style.

**-Hanataro's Pov-**

"_Such a wonderful day. It's been awhile since I've had a day off. The sun is shining and gentle breeze is truly soothing." _I thought to myself as I smiled. I wasn't even beat up today nothing could bring me down from this wondrous feeling of absolute joy.

"BUT HOW YOU"RE PLAYING YOUR CARDS!" I heard from behind me. Quickly turning around a saw a fist come at me I soon felt pain then nothing. My last thought was…

"_Son of a bitch!"_

**BGM: END**

**-Present Day: Captain meeting-**

"We need to quickly deal with these Ryoka they have caused too much damage to the Seireitei." Yammamoto said seriously to the other Captains. Hitsugaya then decided to step forward.

"The Ry-_who?_ I'm sorry sir, but did you just make that up?" Hitsugaya asked incredulously glancing toward the Captain of squad two he saw her signal something.

"(Don't ask questions, you'll get used to it eventually.)" She signed to him. After she had heard that Hitsugaya was sent to squad four do to a mysterious attack on his building she became concerned for the boy. After Unohana explained to the rest of the Captains what his injuries consisted of many of them were confused…

…But not her…

…Or Byakuya.

They had shared a knowing glance between each other showing that they knew _exactly_ what caused his injuries.

Fan girls.

Ever since then they began a somewhat companionship with the youngest Captain and vowed to give him guidance as he dealt with a threat that had tormented them in their younger days as Captains. She still shudders when she remembers what Unohana had told them.

**-Flash Back-**

"His injuries consist of many deep scratches over 40 percent of his body, missing pieces of hair, and a cracked pelvis." As Unohana finished Soifon glanced around the room and saw the captain of squad 8 giggling, the captain of squad 13 looking like somebody killed his dog. Turning to the right she saw the captain of squad 5 mutter something to the captain of squad 3, who strangely threw his hands in the air and yelled "Bull Shit!" and stormed out of the meeting. Feeling eyes on her she turned and saw the captain of squad 6 looking at her with unusual emotion in his eyes. They both then gained a determined expression and nodded.

They needed to help Hitsugaya before it was too late.

**-Flash Back: End-**

"Ryoka is a term for rebels." Yammamoto explained to the new captain who nodded his head in acceptance although he wanted to ask more he saw Byakuya shake his head slightly.

"I say you let me deal with them." Came the gruff voice of Kenpachi as he held his blade on his shoulder. "I've been itching for a good fight." Yammamoto gained a thoughtful expression before banging his cane on the ground.

"If any of you come in contact with the Ryoka dispose of them immediately." The Captains nodded as the meeting came to an end.

**-With Ichigo-**

Ichigo was near the eleventh division taking out countless Shinigami as Hanataro hid in a corner. It wasn't until the last of the wave that he heard a voice.

**Exp+ 999,999,999**

**Yen+ 999,998**(Ichigo raised an eyebrow at the weird number.)

**Hanataro has reached lv. 99 Reveal hidden character? **_The hell? Sure why not._

**Badass Hanataro Unlocked!: finally tired of being pushed around Hanataro has finally had enough watch as he becomes one of the strongest Shinigami to ever live!**

Ichigo gaped at the thought of _Hanataro _being a badass, but before he could contemplate on it any further he felt a large Reiatsu crash down from behind him. Turning around he saw Kenpachi's blade coming down at him mid swing. Ichigo prepared to **Shunpo** out of the way when he was suddenly knocked to the side.

*Clang!"

**Bleach Ost: Fade to Black**

"_No Fu__**cking way!"**_ Ichigo and Zangetsu screamed mentally as they witnessed the biggest mind fuck in history. It was even bigger than Uryu's surprise sex change. Before them stood Hanataro standing tall blocking Kenpachi's blade with his own. The crater underneath his feet showed just how strong of a swing was used.

"…You Okay Kurosaki?" Came the monotone drawl of Hanataro. Looking closely Ichigo couldn't help but notice that Hanataro's hair was a bit longer and his eyes weren't as big. Ichigo nodded as Hanataro jumped back and got into a fighting stance. "Wait there I have unfinished business with this guy." Hanataro continued before flipping his blade so that it was pointing at his body.

"HAHAHAH this is what I'm talking about, a fight!" Kenpachi roared as Hanataro's eyes narrowed.

"I'll get my revenge on you for what your squad has put me through. I hate going all out in a battle as it hurts me too much, but right now…I just want to kick your ass." Hanataro continued with a monotone voice. After that, much to the horror of Ichigo and the confusion of Kenpachi, Hanataro plunged his blade through his body.

"Oi brat you givin up alre-"

"**Fulfill Hisagomaru" **Ichigo saw the blade sticking through the medic's back began to fill a gauge on the side of the blade. Hanataro let out a small breath before ripping the blade from his body. Due to the blade's effects it left no wound upon exiting. "**Akeiro Hisagomaru!" ** The resulting blast caught everyone off guard; But Kenpachi was still quick enough to attempt to block it with his blade. "No use blocking it my pain is much greater than yours." The blue eyed medic said with a near growl as Kenpachi was beginning to be pushed back. "The blast won't stop no matter how long you try to parry it. Unless it misses or hits its target the blast _will _continue." Hanataro then stopped and glanced back at Ichigo.

"Well what are you doing? Go save Rukia you are the one she's waiting on after all." Ichigo glared as he stood up.

"I'm not leaving you!" Hanataro just shook his head and gave bitter laugh.

"You're the first to actually care what happens to me. I know full well you are strong enough to take this guy down, but I'm doing this for _me._ His squad has tormented me for too long, besides I have no one waiting on me unlike you and if I die this will at least be a story to remember." Ichigo was about to object when Zangetsu stopped him.

"**Don't I taught you this before; this is the destiny of a badass."** Ichigo clenched his fist before turning to Hanataro.

"You better not die!" Ichigo said seriously. Hanataro gave no sign that he heard Ichigo as he watched Kenpachi finally push his blast to the side. Ichigo glared once more before turning and **Shunpoing** away from the battle.

"Now let's continue." Hanataro said as Kenpachi grinned in response. Hanataro took the scalpel he had now and slit his wrist causing power to course through the blade once again. **"Akeiro…"**

**BGM: END**

**-With Ichigo-**

**BOOM**

Ichigo grit his teeth as he continued running he could swear he heard weeping.

"_Zangetsu…are you crying?"_ Ichigo wondered in disbelief.

"**Shut up they're the tears of a badass…the ascension from loser to badass gets me every time!"** Zangetsu defended herself before crying again. Ichigo just rolled his eyes and continued his trek.

**~BILLIONS OF MILES AWAY~**

A blonde male looked out the window of his office and let a tear fall from his face, causing the ninja in front of him to look at him funny.

"What's wrong Hokage-sama?"

"someone…somewhere became a pro."

**AN1) THAT'S THAT Told you I was working on this chapter.**

**AN2) I was trying to figure out what to do with this chapter when I reread Hinata's ascension in my NLIAG fic and I thought "I GOT IT!"**

**AN3) I'm surprised by the amount of reviews I got from my new story and I have to say thanks for the ideas some will definitely be used.**

**AN4) Read/review**

**~RebukeX7**


	12. Rescue Rukia IV

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach but Tite Kubo does**

**Aizen: All according to plan.**

**FUUUUU-**

**If you don't know warnings by now leave.**

**AN: For this chapter I'm going to try to write my absolute best so I can have an idea on how much I have improved, if at all, compared to my previous works please leave feedback on whether or not you have noticed a difference.**

Chapter 11: Rescue Rukia IV: The battles continue

**~Seireitei: Chad~**

**Battle 1: Commence!**

**100 seconds**

**Chad hp: 5000 Shunsui hp: 20,000**

Chad and Shunsui stood in front of each other here was total silence as sakura petals blew in the wind between them. Both stared in to each other's eye, both wielding eyes of seasoned warriors ready to fight to their last breath as Nanao stood off to the side in concern. All three knew that Shunsui was much more powerful than the tall Latino, so why was there so much concern in the woman's eyes? Simple, there was something about that young man that intrigued her.

But what could it have been?

He must have known he stood no chance of victory yet here he stood, with both hands in his pockets waiting for any sign of attack from his opponent. She was saddened by the fact that she _knew_ this was more than likely to be the last time she could ever see this brave young fool. She wanted to yell at the naïve fool to run while he still had a chance.

But why!

Shaking her head she knew _exactly_ why. Going by the information gathered on the Ryoka she knew that this fool…this _Chad_ had no real personal attachments to Rukia and only came to make sure his friends stayed safe. Such a respectable, honorable boy, no not with that look in his eyes...this _man_ wasted for nothing. Her heart clenched at what was about to come.

As a lieutenant Nanao had to be by her captain at nearly all times, and with a captain like hers it had been awhile since she had seen such a respectable man like the one that was about to die before her. Her captain's flirtatious behavior, especially when drunk, have no doubt given many males the wrong idea about their relationship, causing many to fear to approach her unless they accidently invoke her captain's wrath.

Her captain has no clue what he has accidently caused.

She gave a bitter smile to the young man and was surprised when she felt her eyes sting with unshed emotions. She gasped slightly when the tall man's one visible eye stared at her as if into her soul and somehow she knew.

He would be okay.

"_At my current level there is no way for me to defeat him."_ Chad Yasutora thought with a small grimace._"The only way I could beat him would be if I could ascend to level 99, and the only way I can achieve that feat at the moment would be to beat him…troublesome."_

**-In a land far far away-**

"ACHOOO!"

"Bless you Shika." A young blonde said to her teammate who grumbled underneath his breath.

**-Back to Chad-**

"_If I remember anything about him from the last time line it is that he was hopelessly attracted to his lieutenant."_ Chad thought with a small smile that promised his victory. _"In that case I will have to hit him wear it hurts the most. My Abuello's lessons are hopefully about to pay off."_ Chad slowly removed his right hand from his pocket, causing the two Shinigami to tense, and began to pull out…

…A guitar.

"W-wha?" Nanao asked dumbfounded as her captain face faulted.

**Shunsui:-5hp**

"How…the hell did that fit in your pocket!" Shunsui asked in complete disbelief, but went unanswered as Chad slowly walked over to his lieutenant while pulling out from his left pocket…

…a Rose

Which he handed to the stunned Lieutenant, much to Shunsui's chagrin as he began to strum a cord on his guitar.

**-Insert: Bleach Ost: Fiesta de Guerra-**

At first Chad began with a slow rhythm, but just as Nanao was about to snap out of her confusion Chad stopped. Quickly undoing her hair and placing the rose between her teeth Chad spoke to her.

"Dance for me Senorita." And with that Chad picked up the previous song with a more fast and upbeat tune as Nanao finally gave in and loosened her robe and began to dance to the song much to her captains disbelief.

**3**

**2**

**1**

**0**

**Winner Chad Yasutura!**

**EXP+900,000,000**

**Chad has risen to lv. 99**

**Gold Trophy Unlocked: An impossible battle # 1 All Party members have a 20% chance to recover all HP and Reiryoku upon death.**

Shunsui was about to destroy his opponent when the teen was suddenly tackled to the ground by his lieutenant, successfully ending the music.

**BGM: END**

"Take me." Nanao ordered with a glare as she threw her glasses behind her, surprising the hell out of both men. Chad quickly went over his options before whispering in her ear.

"..Si"

**~Seireitei: Hanataro vs. Kenpachi Final stage! ~**

**BGM: Bleach ost: Battle Ignition**

Now we find a battered Hanataro Yamada struggling to get up. While he had no visible scars on his body, his destroyed Shinigami robes were more than proof enough of the battle he had went through. In fact the top half of his robes were completely blown off. As he finally stood up on both of his feet he managed to raise his head to stare at his opponent, whose clothes were in a similar state to his. Kenpachi also had various new wounds on his body. His eye patch was completely destroyed

"I have fought many opponents before, but none quite like you." Kenpachi said before placing _both _of his hands on his sword. "It's like your entire existence is for his fight alone. Tell me, is it?" Kenpachi asked with a grin as Hanataro stared at the sky with his bloody scalpel hanging limply in his right hand. Hanataro closed his eyes as he felt the wind blow by him.

**-Flash-**

"_Doesn't matter how weak you think you are, as long as you believe that your purpose in life is to help others no matter what the cost, you will forever be one of the strongest Shinigami I have ever seen." Seinosuke Yamada said to his little brother before walking away. That was the last time Hanataro laid eyes on his brother._

**-Flash-**

"_I'm tired of my division getting beat up by the eleventh division for no reason! If I can ever find a way to change this I'll do it no matter the consequences!" Hanataro thought angrily as he healed his wounds._

**-Flash-**

"_Why did you kidnap me!" Hanataro whimpered as Ichigo took out another Shinigami. Ichigo turned to him and softened his gaze._

"_I need your help…a dear friend of mine may die! Please help!"_

_**-**_**Flash to present**_**-**_

"It might have been." Hanataro chuckled as he looked back at his opponent with his own grin. "I have no idea if that boy, Kurosaki, will succeed but I DO know that he put a lot of trust into me and I refuse to fail!" The medic yelled in determination before slicing his jugular, once again filling the gauge and once again leaving no wound although he felt the pain. Hanataro charged at the captain of the eleventh division with his scalpel raised as his opponent mirrored the movement with his blade. "**Akeiro Hisagomaru!" **Hanataro yelled bringing down his scalpel.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Kenpachi yelled bringing down his sword

**BOOM**

The explosion decimated the rest of the battlefield along with those unlucky enough to still be stuck with in it. The only signs of life were coming from the struggle within the epicenter of the blast.

**-Within the blast-**

Hanataro and Kenpachi's attacks were at a stalemate, making the captain laugh louder.

"Well, Well looks like we're even, but if you put more energy into the blast you might win although you would probably die. HAHAHAHAHA" Kenpachi roared. He was expecting an okay fight from the kid, but nothing like this! This fight was too entertaining; he half expected that he was dreaming again. Hanataro then did something he hadn't expected anyone to do. Hanataro took his left palm and ran it up the length of Kenpachi's Zanpakuto as it tried to fend off the wave of red, causing a large gash to appear. Hanataro placed wounded hand on the handle of his scalpel and slowly raised he wound to the blade, careful not to blow of his hand from the wave of red. The medic gained a solemn expression for a second before giving the Captain a tired, but genuine, smile.

"Bang."

"_Well I'll be damned." _ Kenpachi thought before being engulfed in a sea of red.

***BOOM***

**BGM: END**

**-Later-**

**BGM Cowboy bebop: Blue**

Hanataro stared impassively over the captain's now healed body before sheathing his blade. He knew it would be awhile before Kenpachi woke up and began to climb out of the ditch caused by the explosion. When he finally reached the top, despite his immense pain, he smiled up at the blue sky.

"Are you proud of me?" He asked to no one in particular before falling down to either unconsciousness or death, he didn't know and didn't care.

**-With Ichigo-**

Ichigo stopped his trek toward the tower when he felt a painful chill run through his body.

"Zangetsu…"

"**Just go."** Came the sad response of his blade.

"_Was it worth it Hanataro?"_ The silence was deafening on their way to the tower.

**AN1: That's that! The mini Hana-saga (rhymes) is complete and a few interesting developments has happened to our heroes. **

**AN2: The adventures of the rest of the party will be focused on next chapter.**

**AN3: Read and Review.**

**~RebukeX7**

**OMAKE**

**~White Room~**

We now find our favorite Game Master bound to his bed with rope. Sadly let us not forget that good things in life avoid Rebuke like the plague, so it is safe to assume that this is NOT a pleasurable experience that he had always fantasized about as it was not a gang of super models that had tied him up.

No

He was knocked out by a brick to the back of the head courtesy of his, what he assumed, faithful white haired servant. And why did she do this you might ask? Because Rebuke wanted to personally save some worlds without having to power up the worlds' heroes.

"I'm telling you Izanami! If you just let me go down to some of the realms I can fix them in one day TOPS." Rebuke tried to persuade his servant who was glaring at him with an intensity that would make Ameterasu (1) proud.

Well Izanami is technically her mother but that's a story for another time.

"_**Must I remind you what happened the last time I let you into a realm to PERSONALLY fix it?"**_ Izanami asked with gritted teeth making Rebuke glare at her.

"If you MUST know I DID save the Pokegirl (2) world!" Rebuke barely had enough time to move his head away from her punch.

**~Flash Back: Poke girl world~**

**ALERT!**

**Do to the graphic nature of this incredibly awesome flashback it is blocked from please stand by**

***Insert elevator music***

**OH my God you should see this! Holy fuck she brought out the whipped cream!...**

**-5 minutes later-**

**Hmm Ok its over-**

"OHHH…Right _there!_" Came the moan of the buxom brun-

**WHOOPS! Sorry about that folks!...now it's over.**

**-Flash Back: End-**

"_**You literally captured three of every species, not including legends of course, and had the largest orgy in the history of reality!" **_ Izanami exclaimed with an eye twitch as her master pouted. _**"And do NOT get me started on that time you became the familiar to that pink haired brat!"**_

"How was that MY fault! All I was doing was peeping on you in the shower-"

"_**WHAT!"**_

"-And a green portal just suddenly fucking appeared where I was standing!" Rebuke finished ignoring the fact that his summon was about to destroy him. "Anyway everything worked out in the end when I grabbed a replacement protagonist.

"_**She was supposed to summon a giant black and white two-headed dragon! Not some random ked from Japan! You're just lucky that SOMEHOW that kid managed to have an innate affinity for weapons!"**_

"Details...details." Rebuke said dismissively before getting struck down by lightning courtesy of his favorite summon.


	13. Rescue Rukia V: Uryu's Period

**Disclaimer: ever since that card game I do not own Bleach.**

**(Insert Warning.)**

**(Here's a mini-game for the readers 2 pairings will appear in this chapter….can you guess what they are before you read?)**

**Chapter 12: Rescue Rukia V: Uryu's Period? **

**(Alternate title for NLIAG fans: Sasuki's Successor?)**

**~Seireitei: Ichigo~**

AS Ichigo charged toward the tower he came to an abrupt halt on top of the nearest roof as a horrifying thought occurred to him.

"_Zangetsu…You remember that time Uryu almost killed me?" _Ichigo asked as he began to shake.

"**How could I forget it was exactly one month ago, your dad had to operate on you for three straight days or else you would have become a Full time Shinigami. I was wondering if Uryu would have to deal with **_**that**_** if she got turned into a girl.**

**-Flash back: One month-**

We see Ichigo approach Uryu in the hallway of their school.

"Hey Uryu I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch with Rukia and I?"

"Lunch? SURE!" Uryu said with a bright smile as Ichigo turned around.

"Goo-_urk!"_ Ichigo was cut off as Uryu's right hand got a vice grip around his neck.

"You **DARE ASK ME TO LUNCH?" **Uryu growled at her classmate, scaring the hell out of him in the process.

"_Did…did she growl!"_ Ichigo thought with wide-eyes as he felt himself get lifted off of the ground. Inside his soul Zangetsu winced.

"…**You're fucked. Damn… we could even reach Aizen before game over? That sucks."**

*CRASH*

Ichigo gaped as he was thrown out of the window by one of his closest friends. As he fell he noticed Uryu jump out after him.

"Don't you try to run away from me!" Uryu roared as they fell.

"You threw me you psycho bitch!" Ichigo exclaimed before landing in some nearby bushes. He was about to stand up when a bright light caught his eye.

"And now you call me names? You just don't learn do you?" Uryu asked rhetorically as she aimed her bow at Ichigo.

**~Flashback: End~**

"**Look on the bright side, the trophy you got from survival all of those fatal wounds increased our defense tremendously."** Ichigo just shuddered some more. **"Still, why do you ask?"**

"Think about it Zangetsu. As you said yourself that was EXACTLY one month ago." Ichigo stated in horror as Zangetsu widened her eyes in realization.

"**Oh..Shi-"**

**-Seireitei: Uryu-**

As Uryu dodged a slash from one Shinigami another quickly shunpoed behind her with a horizontal slash. Although Uryu barely managed to dodge the surprise attack, her jacket wasn't as lucky and received a large tear in the middle of it. Time seemed to freeze as the temperature quickly plummeted and the wind chill quickly became -80 degrees.

**-With Hitsugaya-**

Hitsugaya quickly stopped his spar with Soifon when he felt the sudden urge to cry.

"What's wrong Hitsugaya-taicho?"

"…I felt….a disturbance…" Hitsugaya muttered with dead eyes.

**-Back to Uryu-**

"This was my favorite jacket…." Uryu uttered shakily before turning towards the assembled Shinigami with a fierce glare. "**Die."**

**-10 minutes later Seireitei: Squad 12 barracks-**

At the 12th division barracks the Shinigami were on the lookout for the rumored Ryoka. The amount of Casualties had been rising ever since the intruders found an entrance to their beloved home. It would almost be impossible to not find a Shinigami with their hand on the hilt of their Zanpakuto, waiting to defend their squad until their last breaths. As soon as the gathered Shinigami believed that they were safe a shadow loomed over them, causing them to look up.

*clack*

"Oh…my…God…" A gaping Shinigami whispered in horror as he dropped his Zanpakuto in fear. The rest quickly followed as they stared at their future cause of defeat.

**~Outside Seireitei: Kukaku's House~**

"Sis! Why didn't you let me go with them?" Ganju questioned his sister, who adopted a look of annoyance at the question.

"They didn't need help. They had _**her.**_" Kukaku said with a faraway look as Ganju raised an eyebrow at his sister's weird behavior.

"Are you sure one former captain will be enough to take on the Seireitei?" Ganju asked while scratching his head.

"NO! Not HER! I'm talking about the one with the glasses!" Kukaku yelled at her brother, who had now adopted a look of absolute confusion.

"What can she do?"

"Don't tell me you forgot the legend that is passed through our family for generations!" Kukaku yelled before sighing at her brother's incompetence. She quickly pulled out an old black book that had a silver arrow shaped emblem on the front.

"Where did the book come from?"

"I always have this book with me."

"Bu-

"_**ALWAYS!"**_

"Okay! Okay! Calm down, just continues with what you were saying." Ganju conceded not wanting to face his sister's wrath. Kukaku glared at her brother one more time before opening the book and beginning the tale that her father told her every night when she had nightmares about Hollows.

"This is a tale that will explain the Legend of the Vasto Lordes."

"Are you serious?" Ganju asked with wide-eyes before shutting up at the glare he received. Kukaku cleared her throat and continued.

**BGM: Skyrim: The Song of the Dragon Born (Instrumental)**

"We should have acted, they were already here. There were signs of their return." Kukaku took a short breath before flipping the page. "There defeat was merely a delay. The time after Hueco Mundo appeared. When the Shinigami of the Seireitei would spill their own blood!"

"_She can't be serious."_ Ganju thought with a sweat drop at how over dramatic his sister was being.

"But no one wanted to believe! Believe that _those _hollows even existed." Kukaku shook her head before flipping the page. "And when the truth finally came…it came with Ceros!" Ganju shook his head before raising his hand.

"So how exactly does this connect with the girl-"

"BUT!" Kukaku interrupted her brother's question as she continued. "There is _**one**_ they fear…in our tongue is Quincy…" Ganju's eyes widened in disbelief.

"You got to be fu-"

"**ARROW BORN!"**

**-Back to squad 12-**

"**FUCK. YOU. ALL!"** Uryu shouted as she released a giant arrow at her enemies.

***BOOOM***

The resulting explosion shook the foundation of the battle field to its core as all of the gathered Shinigami were effortlessly blown away from the battle field. The shockwave destroyed all nearby buildings and reduced them to rubble.

**BGM: END**

**-Five minutes Later-**

Uryu suddenly felt two Reiatsu crash behind her, quickly turning around she recognized them as the Captain of squad twelve and his lieutenant.

"Well well I must say I am impressed. To think that a Quincy would still be alive and such a powerful one at that." Mayuri said as he gave a wide grin." Such a shame you have to perish today, but please do let me use your body for my research later hmm?" Mayuri said mockingly as Uryu growled.

"**If you think for a second I'm going to let you walk away alive-"**

"Oh believe me; I've seen how powerful you are so I took some…precautions." Mayuri chuckled again. "You see I filled this area with an odorless gas that will eat away the Reiryoku of anyone who doesn't have the antidote." Uryu's eyes widened in surprise. "Let's see how long you can last, shall we?" Mayuri continued before turning to his lieutenant.

"Nemu Play my battle theme." Nemu nodded as she pulled out a black boom box and pressed play.

***Insert: BGM: Bill Bye the Science guy***

Uryu gaped as she watched Mayuri splutter in disbelief as he glared at his assistant.

"NOT THAT SONG YOU DIMWIT!" he roared at Nemu who tilted her head in confusion.

"Sorry." She stated robotically before changing songs.

**BGM: Shadow's masquerade**

"Now my soon to be experiment time for you to die."

"**You do know you are never living that down right?"** Uryu deadpanned before firing an arrow at the captain.

**Uryu Hp: 10,000 Mayuri HP: 19,000**

**URYU VS MAYURI COMMENCE!**

Uryu quickly leaped back and aimed her bow at the creepy ass captain.

"**Licht Regen!"** A large volley of arrows were launched at Mayuri, who yawned, before dissipating as soon as they were in four inches of him. Uryu blinked in shock as her technique failed.

"**W-w-ha..?" **

"I told you the gas eats Reiryoku, did you HONESTLY think that your technique would hurt me?" Uryu silently cursed herself and began to look for another opening. "Now it's my turn **Scratch out, Ashisogi Jizou **now prepare- where did you go?" Mayuri asked as he could no long see the Quincy.

"Up there!" Nemu told her captain while pointing at the sky. Looking up Mayuri could see Quincy falling from the sky with a cylinder in her hand. Just as she landed she quickly rounded on Nemu.

***BAM***

Uryu knocked Nemu out of the way just as five beams of light bound her and Mayuri together.

"What?" Nemu gasped as she saw five pillars of light surrounding the two combatants. _"Why did she knock me away?"_

**Bleach: BGM: Quincy Craft**

"When did you set this up?" Mayuri demanded as Uryu smiled bitterly.

"**When you were releasing your Shikai…you know you guys really have to find a way around that.**" Uryu deadpanned before shaking her head. "**Heh Checkmate. Now do me a favor and die for me." **Uryu said before tossing the cylinder on a nearby pillar. **"Sprenger."**

***BOOOM***

The pillar of light could be seen across the Seireitei.

**BGM: End**

As the smoke cloud cleared Uryu groaned as she got up.

**Uryu HP: 1,000 Mayuri Hp: 16,000**

**BGM: Bleach OST: Soundscape to Ardor**

"_How am I still alive?"_ Uryu wondered before gasping as a large shadow loomed over her._" Damn it! He must have activated his Bankai to take the explosion!"_ Uryu thought angrily as she punched the ground.

"I must say you are intriguing to say the least. Before I completely annihilate you, mind telling me why you save that tool instead of yourself?" Mayuri asked as he gestured to a wide-eyed Nemu.

"**Simple…*pant* I do**n't kill cute girls." Uryu answered with a tired grin as she let her righteous fury subside. Nemu gasped as Uryu coughed up more blood. _"It's no use no matter how angry I am my Reiryoku is nearly gone…I've lost." _ Uryu closed her eyes to accept her defeat.

**-Flashback: One month-**

Masaki left the operating room as Isshin continued to try to save their son's life. She saw a depressed Uryu sitting on the couch in the family room.

"I suppose you know why I'm here." Masaki said seriously with a glare as Uryu gulped.

"I'm sorry I went overboard and couldn't control my emotions I'll take any punishment you are willing to give me!" Uryu bowed in front of Masaki her eyes widened when she heard the mother of the boy she almost killed begin to laugh.

"Punish you? No I want to train you, to teach how to use that anger for the greater good of women everywhere! Let the rage consume you and you'll be able to crush anybody with a Y-chromosome that ever tries to challenge you!" Masaki yelled with a menacing grin. Uryu' gasped in shock at the exclamation. "Now the first lesson…"

That day men all across the world of different races/orientations all simultaneously shuddered. Masaki trained Uryu in all of the ways to take down men.

**-Weeks later-**

"I have one more move to teach you, however if you use this move you'll never be able to go back to being a man as the phantom pain and guilt will KILL you. Do you still want to learn?" Masaki asked seriously as Uryu gained a determined expression.

"I've come too far to give up now."

"Excellent."

**~Flashback: End~**

**BGM: END**

"_That's right master trained me for a month, teaching me how to take down these creeps! There's no way I can lose to someone like him!" _ Uryu grasped the hilt of Seele Schneider. _"Once I use this move I'll completely abandon my resolve to be male, but I have no choice my friends are counting on me!"_

**BGM: Shining finger theme**

Very slowly and shakily Uryu stood up, up surprising Nemu and Mayuri who had thought she had finally given up.

"_It's obvious now; this guy's chance of success had increased..." _Suddenly it was like a dam broke within Uryu as her Fury returned anew. "…WITH THE HELP OF HIS BANKAI!" Uryu roared as Reiatsu spiked and caused Nemu to slam into the ground. As her power increased Seele Schneider began to glow with a blinding intensity. "This blade in my hand glows with an awesome power! Its blinding edge tells me to defeat you!

"IMPOSSIBLE!" Mayuri shrieked as his Reiatsu was completely dwarfed as a primal fear awakened in him telling him to run the fuck away.

"Take this! My Anger! My Pain! And all of my Mood swings! Here I go **testicular attack number forty-two!"** Uryu flashed in front of him with pure speed and drove the blade through his _sword_.

"**!"** Mayuri screeched before instantly bursting into a green goop.

**KO!**

**URYU WINSSSSSS!**

**Since you are already level 99 would you like to choose a spoil from your opponent?**

Uryu thought for a second before nodding her head.

**Great choice!**

**Silver trophy: Unlocked: Bill Nye**

Uryu walked over to Nemu and picked her up bridal style confusing the hell out of her.

"What are you doing?"

"Collecting my spoils." Uryu answered seriously before walking away with her. _"Heh gotta love loop holes. I'm not allowed to be a man anymore, but no one ever said I had to be straight. Sorry Masaki, but any hope of me giving you a grandchild can be blown away now." _Uryu thought with a smirk.

**-Kurosaki Clinic-**

Masaki shivered causing her husband to look at her funny.

"What's wrong honey?" Isshin asked his wife who now had a small smirk on her face.

"Nothing just a chill." She kissed her husband on the cheek before walking away. "_All according to plan…"_

**~Seireitei: Hanataro~**

Hanataro's eyes snapped open when felt the painful sensation of someone biting him. Looking at his right arm he saw Yachiru biting down on him.

HARD

Now the Old Hanataro would have panicked, while screaming like a bitch and making the situation worse, but the Hanataro…

***BAM***

Grabbed her with his free arm and threw her at a nearby wall.

"AHH what was that for Meany-chan!" Yachiru yelled as she rubbed her head.

"You bit me." Hanataro said simply." Although I should thank you, glad to know I didn't die."

"You hurt Kenny!"

"…And healed him."

"Not the point Meany!" Yachiru stuck her tongue out at him. Hanataro was about to retort when a gruff voice interrupted them.

"Hey stop fighting, future lovers shouldn't be arguing." Kenpachi said as he picked up a now bright red Yachiru.

"Hmm Ichigo should be far enough so there is no need for me to stall you any-what the fuck did you just say?" The medic asked the violent captain with an eye twitch.

"Well as you see I'm very protective of Yachiru so I decided that only someone powerful enough to beat me with a Shikai can have her, and I said Shikai not Plotkai" Kenpachi added while turning toward the screen. Hanataro, who was going to say something, settled with giving him a deadpan stare. "Kid that is the best poker face I have ever seen we should play cards some time."

"Hell no."

"Sorry kid, but I'm not giving you a choice. Because of people being scared of me mixed with Yachiru's childish appearance nobody has ever attempted to wed her and I'm getting concerned that she won't find anybody.

"She's a kid."

"She's over 18"

Hanataro stared again and was about to grab Hisagomaru and try to go 2-0, but a voice interrupted him.

**Player 6 has activated hidden: event: Shot gun wedding**

**Hanataro's current score is: 90,000**

**Hanataro has enough points to activate Yachiru's alternate Avatar**

The young medic watched in disbelief as Yachiru, for lack of a better word, pulled a Nel. She grew until she stood a head taller than him. Her eyes narrowed and her hair grew to her mid back. Her body filled out until it was on par with Yoruichi. Due to the growth spurt it's safe to say that her uniform is no more.

The silence was deafening.

Slowly Hanataro turned his head to a gaping Kenpachi and spoke.

"Deal."

**AN1: That's that hope you enjoyed the chapter.**

**AN2: Nemu has been added to Ichigo's Harem because of Uryu. Chad has Nanao, and Hanataro has Yachiru.**

**AN3: Due to people asking me these questions…again I'll answer them here. One you want lemons? You write them, cause I'm not about to ruin my rep with my total inability to write them. Harry Potter LIAG? Sure if I get a beta that knows the plot as I completely forgot it. And now for whether or not I'll do a LIAG for Familiar of Zero (LOL didn't think an omake would make that many people message me.) If I do one it's going to be as unique as I can make it. So here's the "Skeleton" Of a FOZLIAG:**

**Coffee is a must**

**I won't use saito, as I like fics with a different familiar, BUT it won't be OC nor crossover OR main cast. How the fuck is it possible? Well after I used some more crack I decided to use Sasha (That's right bask in my genius it's so random it WOULD work. For those of you that don't know Sasha= Brimir's Gandalf)**

**?**

**Profit.**

**AN4: Read and review.**

**~RebukeX7**

**PS. I'll do the first chapter of FOZLIAG over the weekend but I won't update it until Bakudo X is done or RLIAG is at least chapter 10.**


	14. Rescue Rukia VI: Orihime's Battle

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH IF I DID THIS WOULD BE ANIMATED!**

**(BLAH BLAH BLAH WARNINGS: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS COFFEE)**

**(Important to my fans that are sticking with the MAIN plot of my entire LIAG series as a whole then the Bonus at the end of the chap is for you.)**

**Hidden reviewer Trophy unlocked: With standing the Insanity. (Must survive 12 chapters, non-movies, of Bakudo X and receive 200 reviews of Bakudo X)**

**One pairing will appear in this chapter at random (I'm not lying I didn't plan this… I put all of the characters that would have been introduced in the rescue Rukia arc and pulled two names to make one pairings. The pairing surprised even **_**ME**_** but I rose to the challenge and agreed to go for it.)**

Chapter 13: Rescue Rukia VI: Orihime's Battle

**~Seireitei: Ichigo~**

"_Why the hell has it taken so long for me to reach that fucking tower." _ Ichigo thought in disbelief as Zangetsu snorted from within his soul.

"**I don't know but don't let anything distract you –CAT FIGHT 3 o'clock!"** Zangetsu roared to her master who began looking around frantically.

"What the hell? I don't see anything, and why do you care anyway."

"**Trust me Ichigo **_**I know**_** also I'm part of you, even if I am a girl now, and you love cat fights so by extension I do to! Now hurry your ass up!"**

"What about Rukia?"

"**She'll be okay we still have time."**

"If you say so…" Ichigo said as he unknowingly went off to the reunion of a certain cat and her student.

**~Meanwhile Seireitei: Fourth Division Barracks: Orihime~**

Orihime was walking through the streets of the Seireitei without a care in the world. While many seemed to think that the orange girl was lacking in the intelligence department, it was quite the opposite. Orihime was just a very optimistic individual and prided herself about keeping an open mind about everything. She was a girl who loved new experiences and hated missing out on them because she feared that she might miss out on her calling in life. One instance of this is when she decided to take cooking lessons and got a part time job at a bakery. As her stomach growled she had no idea that today would change her life.

"I'm getting a bit hungry." Orihime said to herself with a small blush as she rubbed her growling stomach. Looking around she found a nice area to sit down in the shade by some trees. Sitting down she pulled out some of her home made coffee cake from her bag with a bright smile. Reaching in the bag again she frowned when she felt something missing._"Oh no! The explosion must have blown my coffee out of my bag! Now what am I going to drink?"_ Orihime thought sadly. Looking around her surroundings she caught sight of a building hidden by the trees behind her.

Standing up and dusting off her clothes she began to walk towards the building, hoping it had something satisfying to drink.

**-3 minutes later-**

Standing in front of the building Orihime could barely contain glee as she read the sign.

"_Wow Kurosaki-kun was right these are everywhere!"_ Orihime thought happily as she entered Rebuke's Food Service.

**-RFS: 5 Minutes Earlier-**

**BGM: Bleach OST: Get Smart**

The Clerk was sitting behind the counter with his head on the counter sleeping like a baby when his servant suddenly slammed something on the counter.

*_SLAM!_*

"I WANT PHOTOS, PHOTOS OF SPIDER-MAN!" The delirious clerk shouted confusing the hell out of his assistant.

"…_**What the hell?"**_ She asked with wide eyes.

"Hmm? Oh don't worry about-"

"_**No! What the FUCK WAS THAT!"**_ She was not about to let this drop as that was the most random outbursts she had ever witnessed.

"Listen I fell asleep watching Spi-is it really that important? What did you just slam on the counter?"

"…" The woman was about to push the matter further but decided to save herself a headache and answer his question. _**"The guys at the lab wanted to apologize about the Quincy Coffee they had created earlier."**_ She told him gesturing at the large Mocha Latte that two straws sticking out the whipped cream.

"I'm guessing this is their new project? What does it do?"

"_**Apparently it can increase the amount of stamina of two people by 100%, although I'm still not sure about the side-effects. I wanted you to take it back to your lab for further analysis."**_ Just as her boss was about to respond they were both alerted to the sound of someone entering the shop.

"Is anybody here?" Orihime asked as she glanced around the shop.

"Over here!" The clerk shouted to the girl as he waved her over. "What can I do for you today ma'am?" He asked politely.

"I was wondering if you had any coffee I could buy, you see I recently lost the coffee I had." Orihime asked with a bow making the two employees raise an eyebrow at her. The woman was about point her to an aisle when her boss interrupted her.

"Ah yes right here." The clerk said as he handed the surprised girl the cup as his assistant glared at him.

"_**What the he-oof!"**_ The woman grabbed her side in pain as her boss stealthily elbowed her.

"Since it's your first time shopping her alone I'll let you have this on the house!"

"Really?" Orihime asked with wide-eyes.

"Yup! Make sure you stop by again!" The clerk said with a gentle smile.

"Okay! Bye!" Orihime waved as she left.

"Bye!" The clerks smile turned to a smirk as his assistant gave him a look of blatant horror.

"_**You don't even know the side-effects!"**_

"What's the worst that could happen?"

"_**I don't know…maybe Death?"**_

"Hey I gave her and all of her friends free MP3's two-weeks ago, she can test some possibly lethal coffee for me!"

"…_**You're a monster…"**_

"Thank you!"

**BGM: END**

**~Seireitei: Fourth Division Barracks: Unohana~**

Unohana was going for a calming walk around her division to relieve some of the stress that the current

Ryoka problem was giving her. Unohana wasn't someone to be stressed easily. She considered herself to be a very level headed and intelligent woman who didn't let petty things bother her. This is why she accepted Shinigami of different backgrounds, races, and sexual orientations to her division. As a medic she cared for everyone and didn't look down on anyone for being weak. Although she did wish that Hanataro would be a little more assertive and find himself a girlfriend.

"_Next time I see him I'm setting him up with Isane they both need someone in their lives."_ Unohana thought to herself as she continued walking.

If only she knew…

As she continued walking she saw an orange haired girl sitting in the shade of a tree eating her cake happily.

"_What is this? I've never seen her before."_ Unohana thought in confusion as she shunpoed next to the girl.

"Excuse me?" Unohana asked politely as the girl turned to her with a smile.

"Hi!"

"I have never met you before mind telling me your name?" Unohana asked as the girl tilted her head.

"I'm Orihime Inoue."

"A lovely name, now will you mind telling me what division you are from?" This caused the girl to look at her confused. Now Orihime when eating sweets completely forgets about what is bothering her, so she completely forgot that the Shinigami still considered her and her friends a threat.

"I came here with my friends silly! I don't have a division." Orihime chuckled as she continued eating. Unohana allowed herself to actually lose her composure and gape for a second before quickly going back to her normally serene expression.

**Orihime Vs. Unohana COMMENCE!**

"_They said the intruders were dangerous…not smart I suppose."_ Unohana said before putting her hand on the hilt of her Zanpakuto. She then gave Orihime her trade mark I'm-going-to-kill-you-and-your-family-and-bathe-in-their-blood smiles. Now there are a lot of things she expected. She expected for the girl to begin to quake in terror, hell she even would have accepted the girl getting in to a fighting stance, but what she got was…

"Would you like some?" The girl handed some cake to the now stunned captain, who could do nothing but mutely nod her head.

**-A few Minutes Later-**

**TIE!**

**Orihime has received Golden Trophy: No fucking way you should have lived. (Player must survive against Unohana.)**

**Orihime has risen to Lv: 99!**

The captain and rejecter of fate were having a very animated conversation. Unohana hasn't felt this good in years, to have a conversation with someone who isn't completely scared of her.

Orihime has that effect on people ask Ulquiorra.

"So this coffee is a drink from your world?" Unohana asked as Orihime nodded. "And you are sure it is safe to drink?" Orihime took a sip to show that it was harmless and handed the cup towards the older woman. Taking a sip Unohana couldn't believe how good the drink tasted and made plans to visit the human world more often. She and Orihime quickly finished it in seconds.

**-Rebukes food Service-**

**BGM: Get Smart**

The clerk was talking with his assistant when his cell phone rang. He quickly answered it and put it on speaker when he saw that it was coming from the lab.

"Rebuke-sama are you there?"

"Yes I am."

"The Izanami-sama give you the coffee?"

"_**Yes I did."**_

"AH Izanami-sama you're there…" Izanami wasn't sure but the Scientist sounded very embarrassed.

"_**What's the matter?"**_

"Have you been with Rebuke-sama the entire time?"

"_**Yes…"**_ Izanami answered carefully, not liking where this conversation was going.

"And, um excuse me, Err do you both have your clothes on?" Rebuke began choking as Izanami gaped at the phone.

"_**WHAT THE HELL?"**_

"You see…The coffee has a side-effect that would make the two people who drank it…"

"_**Yes…?"**_ Izanami asked as Rebuke placed his head in his hands.

"*Cough* Fuck like bunnies?"

"_**Son of a BITCH!" **_Izanami roared as she turned toward Rebuke who had extended his hand toward her.

"Don't say a fucking word."

**BGM: END**

**-Back to Orihime and Unohana-**

"_What's wrong with me?" _Unohana thought in confusion as body began to burn with passion._ "Why am I experiencing symptoms of being in heat?" _ She thought maybe the orange haired girl was more devious than she had originally expected and had poisoned her, but glancing at the girl she saw that she was having problems of her own.

*SLAM*

Unohana's thoughts were interrupted as she was slammed on the ground by a blushing Orihime who had her mp3 player in her hand.

"What are you-mmph!" Unohana was cut off as her lips were captured by the Orange haired girl. Orihime kissed her hungrily for a little longer and then released her.

"Shut up…" Orihime uncharacteristically growled as she pressed play on her mp3.

**BGM: Marvin Gaye: Let's Get It On**

…and take me."

**-With Ichigo-**

"**FUCK!"** Zangetsu yelled scaring the hell out of Ichigo, who landed just as Yoruichi and Soifon began their fierce battle.

"_What? We made it on time!"_

"**Yes, but I can't shake the Feeling that we missed something that was infinitely better."**

"_Like what?"_

"**You remember that thing you dreamt about a week ago?" **Ichigo took a deep breath and closed his eyes. One second later they snapped open in rage and released a cry that was heard throughout the entire Seireitei.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

**AN1: That's That! I decided to work on this earlier as an apology for not being clearer with my words. You see when it came to my FoZ fic it was that I would WORK on it this weekend but I wouldn't RELEASE it till later…sorry about that.**

**AN2: Huh I normally have more to say…. Huh how about that? Oh I Know! Orihime and Unohana will be added to Ichigo's harem.**

**AN3: read and Review**

**BONUS!**

**(Only read if you are following the MAIN plot of LIAG)**

**~White Room: Bathroom~**

**BGM: Cowboy Bebop OST: Real Folks Blues**

A tired Rebuke, dressed in nothing but a white wife-beater and a pair of black boxers, glared weakly at his reflection. His reflection, however, while looking exactly like him had black hair and black irises.

"Shut…_up." _Rebuke growled at his smirking reflection.

"_**Why? We both know I'm right."**_ His reflection said with insane glee.

"I don't need you."

"_**Yes I believe we settled that on the roof all those years back."**_ His reflection answered with a grimace. _**"That black haired bitch gave you her white haired slut and made you look like the dead person you look like today."**_ The black haired Rebuke sneered. _**"If you accept me you will get back your humanity you know? You'll be able feel your heart beat once again…you'll be able to DIE."**_ The reflection tempted its owner.

"Stop…"

"_**Why? I am you after all."**_

"You are NOTHING-Gurk" Rebuke was cut off as he found himself being strangled courtesy of his own right hand. He weakly looked back at his reflection that now had its right arm stretch in front of it menacingly.

"_**Oh really? You can't run forever. Quit bitching and FACE YOURSELF!" **_ The reflection roared at its owner.

"NO! *CRASH*" Rebuke yelled as he rammed his left hand through his mirror. Rebuke winced as he heard his own fainting laugh. The game master sighed and slid down his wall and on to the floor. He laughed slightly at the sight of his bloodied hand.

"_**Master…Oh my, what happened?"**_ Rebuke's white haired servant asked in surprise as she rushed to her summoner.

"Don't worry about it, I'm just having trouble sleeping again, mind handing me my pills…double the usual dosage please." Rebuke asked as Izanami glared at him. She didn't like when her master took those pills as he had been taking more and more each time.

"_**Bu-"**_

"_Izanami…"_ The white haired male said warningly.

"_**FINE!"**_ She said angrily as she poured the pills into his hand. He greedily swallowed them and almost instantly began to feel the effects.

"_Heh…" _Rebuke thought with a bitter smile as he saw Izanami's frown. _You look exactly like your last summoner…I wonder what she would think if she saw me now?"_ Rebuke felt weak and fell to his side on the cold tiles of his bathroom floor. **"**_**Rose…"**_ The game master thought sadly as he closed his eyes.

"_Spike lived in a dream… We live in a Game…He carried his weight…I wonder…._

…_.Can we beat this Game?"~ RebukeX7_


	15. Rescue Rukia VII: Sisterly Love

**Disclaimer: I don't own bleach, but I do own crack-gets arrested- **

**FUCK**

**-Warnings: See the last few chapters for them-**

**Listen this chapter is not as good as I hoped and I'm sorry for the wait (All is explained in AN at bottom) This is a deluxe chapter.**

**Chapter includes: Badass Hanataro's walk toward the tower, cliché pairing, and Ichigo's missed dream.**

**Listening to the BGM's is recommended for the greatest experience possible when reading my fics.**

Chapter 14: Rescue Rukia VII: Sisterly Love.

**~Seireitei: Uryu~**

Uryu was currently walking through the streets of the Seireitei disguised as a Shinigami. She kept her head down to avoid curious glances from passer-bys. As she continued her stealth trek towards the tower put a hand on her stomach as it began to growl.

"_Damn, I'm getting hungry…what is that heavenly smell?"_ Uryu thoughts trailed off as she began walking towards where the sweet aroma was coming from. When she finally reached it she froze. Before her was possibly the most delicious sweet roll she had ever laid her eyes upon, but what made her freeze in her tracks was not _what _the food was but rather _where_ it was.

It was on a plate…

…In front of a sleeping Renji.

"_Fuck…"_ Uryu thought despondently while shaking her head. _"Maybe if I am quiet enough I can grab me some food."_

"Hey! No lollygagging!" A random passing by soul reaper yelled at our favorite archer. Uryu turned around and glared at the fool. She froze as she realized he had five glowing arrows in his back. "…Wait…I know you…" Uryu shook her head frantically.

"NO YOU DON'T!"

"Hey, I am going to need you to stop with that…shouting…its making people nervous." The reaper said seriously."

"Fuck off." Uryu deadpanned.

"I suppose there is no law against it, but I've got my eye on you." The canon-fodder said warningly as he walked away. Uryu shook her head before quietly reaching for the sweet roll.

**-UUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!"**

Ichigo's yell tore through the Seireitei causing all of the nearby Shinigami to become alert. Much to Uryu's displeasure the yell awakened the sleeping lieutenant. Uryu, who had grabbed the sweet roll, cursed the universe as she currently found her wrist grabbed by an annoyed Renji as the nearby Shinigami watched with raised eyebrows.

"Did that bitch just try to steal a sweet roll?" One Shinigami asked his friend in disbelief.

"Yup. That is petty as hell."

"_Fuck it. I don't care anymore!"_ Uryu growled as she summoned her bow.

**Uryu Vs. Renji COMMENCE!**

**BGM: Quincy Craft**

"_This might be a tough one considering not only am I fighting Renji, but I'm surrounded as well. I'm still regaining energy from my last fight."_ Uryu shook her head as she jumped back to put some distance between herself and the red haired Shinigami. _"I sent Nemu out to grab a key to Rukia's cell so I'm alone this time. I need a fucking miracle."_

"Hey…" A voice called out from behind her as she suddenly felt another Reiatsu spike from behind her. Uryu glanced back and gaped at what she saw.

**A NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES!**

**BGM: Interrupted!**

**BGM: Bleach OST: Showing Off**

"…need some help?" Hanataro asked with a smirk as four Shinigami lied knocked out around him. After awhile Uryu quit gaping and took aim at the confused lieutenant.

"There's so much wrong about this picture it's not even funny, but I'm not about to look a gift horse in the mouth."

**~Seireitei: Yoruichi and Soifon a few minutes earlier~**

**Yoruichi Vs. Soifon COMMENCE!**

**BGM: Treachery**

Yoruichi and Soifon stood in a clearing glaring at each other. They were prepared to put everything in to this fight, two former comrades in arms. This would truly prove to be the greatest cat fight in the history of reality. One wanted answers the other wanted to end this conflict quickly. Master versus student.

Ninja versus ninja!

Cat versus Bee.

The epicness from this fight of unrequited love would turn out be so much that this poor simple minded author might have to get a dictionary, and maybe make up a few of his own words, just so he can expand his vocabulary so he could ATTEMPT to express even ten percent of the epicnosity of this fight. Finally after what seemed to be an eternity a leaf fell in between them signaling the beginning of the mother of all cat fights.

Hair will be pulled, skin will be scratched, and most importantly clothes will be lost in this fight ladies and gentlemen.

The two queens of assassination charged at each other with their fists raised back, and as soon as they met in the center…..

"**FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!"**

**BGM: END**

**Bleach OST: Comical World**

The yell caught both combatants so off guard that they completely lost their balance sending them both stumbling in different directions. Yoruichi manage to catch her balance before she fell, however Soifon wasn't as lucky and stepped on a wet patch of grass sending her falling the unforgiving ground.

**-5 Hp**

**-Rebuke's Food Service~**

"DAMNIT! WHAT THE HELL ICHIGO! WHY DID YOU YELL YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT? DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU TO HELL!" The clerk screamed in absolute fury as he watched the scene get interrupted. As Rebuke continued to destroy the store his assistant was huddled in a corner whimpering in chibi form.

"_***Sniff* Happy place…gotta go to happy place…"**_

*CRASH*

Izanami whimpered more as Rebuke tossed a chair at the television.

**-Ichigo-**

"**DAMNIT ICHIGO YOU JUST FUCKED UP THE CAT FIGHT!" **Zangetsu roared at her master who went pale as he realized what he had just done.

"Err ignore the orange haired kid with the big ass sword and continue the fight. Nothing to see here ladies!" Ichigo as he frantically tried to divert the attention from himself the women glared at him.

"What the hell Ichigo? Why did you scream?"

"Don't worry about it. Less talking more fighting." Ichigo said as he sat down. Yoruichi and Soifon just glanced at each other and shrugged.

"Don't feel like it anymore you kind of ruined the mood." Yoruichi deadpanned. Ichigo grabbed his head in agony as Zangetsu yelled curses at him.

**Yoruichi WINNNNSSSSS!**

Ichigo sighed and shook his head sadly before glancing at Soifon with a raised eyebrow.

"Since a fight isn't going to happen you mind telling me why you are so pissed at her?" Soifon glared at both of them before answering.

"She knows damn well what she did!" This caused Yoruichi to scratch her head sheepishly.

"Actually I have no idea whatsoever." The former captain said honestly making her successor gape.

"Fine then let me refresh your memory about the horrible thing you said to me!"

**~Flash Back Night before Yoruichi's Exile (Credit to the following scene goes to Hotdamnirock on youtube for his video Brotherly Love) ~**

**BGM: END**

We currently find Yoruichi in her office drinking sake in preparation for what she was about to do the next day.

*slam*

Yoruichi looked up to find Soifon walking in the office. The Lieutenant seemed to have a tired expression on her face.

"Yoruichi-sama we have been summoned for another captain's meeting."

"I know." This caused Soifon to do a double take with a raised eyebrow.

"You know? What do you mean you know?"

"Yammamoto called me." Yoruichi said in monotone.

"He called you?" Soifon asked incredulously that her captain was blatantly ignoring orders.

"Mhm."

"Yammamoto called you?" Soifon asked for further clarification making Yoruichi shrug.

"Yeah…" An awkward silence rang through the office for awhile before Soifon face palmed.

"Oh god no…" Soifon muttered to herself. "What did you do?" Her captain set her cup of sake on the desk and leaned forward with a deadpan expression.

"I. Hung. Up. On the asshole." Soifon gaped before rage clouded her vision, as this was no doubt about to get her more paperwork and for the first time since she met her mistress she snapped.

"God Damnit Yoruichi! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"ME? What's wrong with him because I have never seen somebody call so many damn meetings for no fucking reason!"

"Now you are over exaggerating it has not always been for no reason. Remember that time our 7th seat got attacked by wolves?" She stopped when her captain raised a hand to silence.

"Please don't bring that shit up. I'm still trying to figure out. How the fuck. A _ninja_ got fucking beat by wolves."

**BGM: John Murphy-Frank's death- Soldiers**

"Did I tell you what he said when I talked to him? He said that the two wolves walked up to him and cornered him. I said Bitch what the fuck, are you still in the academy? How the fuck didn't you get away from that?" Yoruichi continued hysterically.

"Regardless…" Soifon continued. "This is what you do. This is your job!"

"Wait wait wait wait. No. _excuse_ me bitch." Yoruichi said incredulously as she stood up. "I'm a Shinigami. That's my fucking job. I kill shit." Yoruichi shook her head." I never asked for all of the pencil pusher crap."

"Bu-"

"Last time I went to a meeting he created ten new fucking rules that were pointless. Or did you forget that shit? I'm not going. I'm done!" Soifon glared before turning towards the door.

"Fine then I'll go without you!"

"Without me?"

"Yes, without you!"

"Bitch you need me! I'm the Captain bitch!" Yoruichi roared as she spiked her Reiatsu.

"Squad 2. Of Squad 2! A squad, at least that's what we used to be I have no idea who the fuck you are now!" Soifon yelled as tears welled in her eyes.

"You wanna know who I am?" Yoruichi asked with grim smile. "I'm the bitch you're not good enough to be." This made Soifon take a step back in shock she never heard her captain say something so cruel. "You are nothing but a player two ass bitch, Soifon. That's it. That's all you are, that's all you're ever going to be." Soifon began to tremble. "When you die that's how people are going to remember you. Player. _Fucking_. **Two" **Yoruichi turned to look out her window."I carry this squad. You'd be dead in five seconds without me." After a silence Yoruichi began to regain control of her emotions and was going to apologize to her now weeping lieutenant, but a sound stopped her from turning. "That's how it's going to be huh?"

_*Shling*_

"For years, I have been in your fucking shadow." Soifon said with clenched teeth. "And you turn around and say that bullshit to me? Not once did I ever complain about the way things were, and you know why because I lo-"She was interrupted by Yoruichi placing a hand on the hilt of her Zanpakuto.

"I love you girl." Yoruichi said with humor in her voice. Her voice then gained a cold edge to it as she spoke the next words." But you better pray to _God. _That. You. Don't. Fucking. Miss."

**BGM: End**

**~Flash Back End~**

Yoruichi, Ichigo, and Zangetsu were in a stunned silence before a pale Ichigo spoke.

"You called her a 'player two ass bitch'." Ichigo asked incredulously as he turned to his teammate. "I'm sorry but that's, cold as hell. If I didn't need to save Rukia I'd be helping her kick your ass too."

"Hell I don't even remember most of that myself. I'd kick my own ass two." Yoruichi shook her head as she silently swore not to get drunk under stress again. A thought suddenly came to her. "Wait what were you going to say before I cut you off back then?" This caused the petite captain to redden.

"Nothing!" Soifon said quickly making Ichigo scoff.

"Please, it's obvious she wants to ravage you." Ichigo said with a small chuckle as Yoruichi raised an eyebrow.

"Well duh. You came when we were about to fight to the death of course she wants to ravage me." Yoruichi said dismissively as Soifon and Ichigo both froze while gaping.

Zangetsu froze as well

"No I mean the Horizontal mambo." Ichigo said trying to convey the message to his confused friend.

"Uh…she wants to dance?" At this point even Soifon began to have a little concern for a former mistress.

"No the… you know…The take away meal for two?" Soifon tried to help making Ichigo gape at her.

"Nice one." Ichigo said with a raised eyebrow causing Soifon to shrug.

"So…she wanted …to eat?" Yoruichi asked while scratching her head.

"**Yeah you."** Zangetsu answered in Ichigo's head making him snicker.** "How is it possible for someone as old as her to not get this? I assumed by the way she acts that she'd know all about this kind of thing."** Zangetsu stated making her master shake her head.

"_You know what they say about assuming."_ Ichigo thought while he continued to stare at the purple haired woman in concern. At this point Soifon was giving the confused ex captain a look of utter disbelief.

"Bumpin uglies." Soifon tried again.

"Uh…?"

"The horizontal Monster mash?"

"…..?" Yoruichi gave a helpless shrug as Ichigo finally had enough.

"For the love off… she wants to fuck you!" Ichigo all but growled making Yoruichi snap her head to him in shock.

"What the fuck? Don't make up stuff like that about other people!"

"It's true." Soifon deadpanned. The bizarreness of the situation tired her out. Yoruichi just gaped at her.

"What the hell? How long has this been going on?"

"Honestly. Decades, I just assumed you knew and didn't say anything." Soifon said with a shrug making Yoruichi glare.

"What the hell? Why would you think that? I am not a fucking mind reader!" Yoruichi yelled angrily.

"Welcome to my world." The only man in the area scoffed to himself, making Zangetsu roll her eyes. He watched curiously as Yoruichi picked her former lieutenant up fire man style.

"What are you doing?" Soifon yelled as her face went red.

"Simple. After you help us save our friend, you and I are going to make up for decades of missed chances. "Yoruichi deadpanned while walking passed a gaping Ichigo. " Come on I don't want this to take much longer."

Ichigo shook his head before following his teammate towards the white tower.

**~With Badass Hanataro: Division eleven captain office Earlier~**

Hanataro was lying on his side with a sleeping Yachiru on the couch in Captain Zaraki's office when he heard the horrific scream.

**-UUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!**

**BGM: Bleach OST: Morning Remembrance**

Hanataro closed his eyes as a solemn expression as Kenpachi placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a bitter smile.

"That sounded like your companion."

"I know." Came the medic's simple response.

"So you are aware what it means?" Kenpachi asked as he sat on the edge of his desk.

"Yep. He didn't make it to the tower alive." Hanataro said as he gently separated himself from the pink haired lieutenant as he got up from the couch making the Captain give him a stern look.

"Where are you going brat? Think you can run from your responsibilities after getting her to fall asleep?"

"I used to run. Not anymore." The black haired boy said simply as he began to walk towards the window.

"Sure looks like what you're doing." Kenpachi said with a small growl.

"Quite the opposite really. I'm going out there, I'm going to draw my blade, and I'm going to swing until my last breath escapes my blood covered lips."

"Why?" Kenpachi demanded as he stood up. Normally he didn't mind a senseless battle, in fact, in fucking adored them, but when Yachiru's happiness was in jeopardy he made exceptions.

"Tell me what do you think will happen to you and Yachiru once the other Shinigami realize you've been harboring a fugitive? I'll tell you, bad things. So I might as well nip this in the bud while I have a chance."

"You'll be breaking her heart!" Kenpachi growled again as the medic snorted.

"You knew the risks when you forced her to get engaged with a damn fugitive! During a war! What the hell man?"

"You know... even I can tell…she loves you." At this point Kenpachi had his hand rested on the hilt of his Zanpakuto.

"Too fucking bad." Hanataro said as he opened the window. There was silence until the tell tale sound of a blade being drawn resonated throughout the office. Neither swordsman said anything as Hanataro placed his foot on the ledge, but before he jumped he said one last thing to the frustrated Captain.

"Anytime you're ready."

**BGM: END**

**To be continued:**

**AN1: Okay so sorry about the wait again, but I got writers block for 4 days, THEN I got sick for 2 weeks, THEN my computer crashed. So in light of this series of unfortunate events I'll release some info about my LIAG series now.**

**INFO 1: It's no secret that RLIAG is going to be my longest fic in the series so in order to make up for that, I'll take a break and do 1 main series alongside it and during the breaks between regions ill do a one-shot for another series (That YOU pick) and one of the one-shots can become the next series. **

**INFO 2: OC's NEED( NOTE they play no part other than helping Rebuke out in his crazy schemes either during parts in the RFS or Omakes I need 4 OC's. 3 of the slots have been automatically chosen.**

**Malix2 (Bro you basically got this series to go passed Naruto LIAG so you get it.)**

**AJLexie (Same as Malix2 ALSO she Might be the one to get lemons into this story so, yeah she deserves one.)**

**MaakaOro (One of my best followers of the fic)**

**Now there is one slot left AND if one of those three doesn't want to I'll open another slot. Just PM details of an OC and you'll see them soon. Once again for those of you that HATE OC's don't worry they are going to stay away from the main plot just like my own OC is. As a reader of fanfics I hate OC-centric so I won't be a hypocrite.**

**Outline Of LIAG (For those who want the entire plot)**

**Life is not a game-NLIAG- Bakudo X-RLIAG-?-?-Judgment Day (Explained when I get to it) -?**

**Once again sorry about this chapter, but I'll be back to my former glory next chapter.**

**AN3: Read and review**

**~RebukeX7**

**OMAKE: **

Rebuke stood in front a classroom filled with people of different races, power levels; you name it, with a piece of chalk in his hands.

"Okay class, today I'm going to teach you how to become a successful OC." Rebuke stopped when a girl raised her hand. "Yes who might you be?"

"Mary D. Sue." The girl answered with a grin as Rebuke gave her his best poker face.

"And what is your origin?"

"Well, I grew up on the same island as Luffy and Ace and I want to be queen of the-"

"Get the fuck out my class room." Rebuke cut her off while pointing to the exit.

"Bu-"

"Now." The girl got said and slowly walked out of the classroom.

"Class can you tell me what she did wrong?" Nobody said anything but another girl raised her hand.

"What's your name?"

"Kagome." The brunette answered as Rebuke checked his class list.

"I'm sorry but you're in the wrong class, you SHOULD be in how to be a successful Kagome in a crossover fiction." Rebuke said to the girl who gathered up her bow.

"Sorry, took a wrong turn, but the answer to your question was that she didn't stay the fuck out of the plot." Kagome answered as she left the room. Rebuke turned to his gaping class with a wide grin.

"You see that? SHE'S going places unlike you assholes now let's let the first lesson begin." Rebuke taught the class for another two hours before the future most memorable OC's left him alone in the classroom.

"Yup they're going places."

"…_**How the fuck are you my summoner?"**_ Izanami deadpanned as her Master walked off with his brief case.

**END**


	16. Rescue Rukia VIII: Regroup

**EDITED TYPOS**

**(Disclaimer: don't own shit)**

**Chapter 15: Rescue Rukia VIII: Regroup**

**~White Room~**

The room was nearly completely demolished, save for two illuminated television screens. On one screen was the image of an orange-haired teen clad in black running towards a tower. The boy seemed to be frozen in space as he looked forward in determination. On the other screen was a young boy with a red hat, he had crimson eyes and ebony hair. Like the teen he was frozen in place mid-stride as he walked down a grass path with his two companions. Both screens bore the same word…

"**Pause"**

In the top right corner of the room was a blinking "SOS" sign. Suddenly two figures flashed in to the room via a dimensional vortex. The shorter figure glared around the room while the taller one seemed to be seconds away from losing his lunch.

"God I HATE when you do that." The taller figure said. Looking closer one could tell he was a well-toned man of about 6'4. He had hazel eyes, golden skin, and short spikey hair. He was wearing blue jeans, a white t-shirt, and a denim vest. On his back was an old wooden guitar and on his head and feet were a pair of cowboy boots and cowboy hat, respectively.

"Hush Maaka. Remember why we're here!" The shorter figure commanded. In complete contrast to the tan man, this figure was at least two heads shorter with long blonde hair and blue eyes. She wore a black hair-band and a black sleeveless button up dress with a red tie. Lower she had a dark red/black plaid skirt and a pair of black heels. She had two very small red fairy wings sprouting from her back.

"Hey, Lex, unlike you some of us prefer to keep our lunches, ya damned pixie." Maaka said with a hint of a southern drawl, before ripping into a drum stick of a chicken, showing off is abnormally sharp teeth.

'Whatever you brute, the point is we received a distress call from Rebuke that he had been kidnapped and-"The blonde was cut off as the tall man growled and threw a bone at the ground.

"Then why the hell aren't we searching?"

"Because…" "Lex" began with an eye-roll we have no fuckin' idea where he's at so the best we can do is make sure his projects get stronger faster so that we can form a search party. After all, anything that could take the GM down must be powerful."

"True so now what?" Maaka asked as he followed Lex towards the consoles.

"Now…" She began as she picked up one white PS3 controller and handed a white #60 controller to Maaka "We strengthen these pansies up." She finished making the tall man cackle.

**Difficulty:**

_**Casual?**_

_Yes_

Lex and Maaka shared a knowing glare. _"He's been taking it easy on these brats.'_ They though before unchecking the "Yes" box.

_**Normal?**_

_No_

_**Hard?**_

_No_

_**Shounen?**_ They grinned.

_Hells yes!_

Suddenly, although they felt the difficulty change was necessary, they felt bad for the two protagonists for their journey would be near impossible.

"After all there is no way these brats can do anything we haven't seen before." Lex said despondently while Maaka nodded his head while eating more meat.

Somewhere billions of miles away a certain whiskered blonde, and somewhere in captivity a certain GM had the certain urge to laugh…

**Hard.**

**~Seireitei~**

**BGM: I need a Hero.**

As Orihime and Unohana ran up the stairs of the white tower a shadow appeared above them and suddenly a familiar Orange haired teen and his two captain-level assassins landed beside them as they ran.

"Long time no see Orihime. Glad to see that you are safe, and that you brought a powerful ally apparently." Ichigo said with a smile which Orihime returned with a nod.

"Yes, but I am worried about the others." Orihime said before noticing another shadow ahead of them. Noticing it as well, Ichigo looked up to see that they were catching up to a running Chad and Nanao.

"Ichigo." The tall Mexican greeted as he ran. His shirt was completely gone and his body was scratched up. Ichigo smirked as they ran.

"What happened? Did you run into a stray cat?" The Mexican glanced back as Nanao blushed.

"Cat…well that's one word for it." Chad deadpanned as Nanao blushed harder. Looking closer Ichigo noticed the hickey marks and put two and two together.

"_No way…"_ Ichigo thought with wide-eyes.

"**That's not all look to your left"** Zangetsu order Ichigo, who complied. What he saw almost made him fall of the tower as he glanced at Unohana and Orihime's 'Battle-wounds'.

"_Inoue too?" _ Ichigo thought in disbelief. Looking at where he was staring, Orihime blushed and Retsu decided to troll the boy a little. Making a 'peace sign' in front of her, the captain made an unmentionable gesture with her tongue and the space between her fingers; which went unnoticed by everyone but Ichigo.

Ichigo's resulting nose bleed sent him flying from the tower and it was only by pure luck that Chad managed to reach back and grab his leg.

"Quit stumbling over yourself." Chad said firmly, but calmly. As they reached the top of the tower, the group could help but gape at the two figures waiting for them. In front of them stood a battle scarred Hanataro and Uryu. The former was leaning on a wall with his eyes closed and his arms crossed while the latter looked at the group with a hand on her hip and a raised eyebrow as if to say _'What took you so long?'_

"What took you so long?" Uryu asked bluntly.

Never mind.

**BGM: END**

"How the hell did you get her so fast?" Ichigo, Yoruichi, Soifon, and even though nobody but Ichigo could hear her, Zangetsu yelled.

"Yes, please explain. Mr. Deus ex Machina!" Uryu roared as Hanataro face-palmed.

"This again…" The young medic groaned. It was then that the group noticed the smoking form of Renji.

**~Flashback~**

**BGM: Armada-two steps from hell**

"No matter how hard you try you can't win no matter how many arrows you shoot!" Renji yelled as he swung his blade in a wider arc forcing Hanataro to hit the dirt while Uryu jumped it the air.

"One more arrow should do it!" Hanataro shouted as Uryu aimed her bow.

"How do you know?"

"I used some of my gamer points and got the** Scan **ability!" Being a closet-avid gamer Uryu smirked and released her arrow at the bored Renji.

"Oh please." Renji moved Zabimaru in front of himself in order to block the arrow, but when the arrow met his blade…

**Stagger Mode Activated!**

It was as if an invisible armor that had been around his body since his birth completely shattered forcing his body to become incredibly weak and vulnerable. Renji suddenly found himself dizzy and unable to lift his blade. Hanataro appeared in a crouch right in front of the stunned lieutenant with his scape three inches from piercing the Red-heads skin.

"Be grateful that I decided to spare you." And with that the young medic released a crimson blast powerful enough, but not lethal, to blast the lieutenant to the top of the tower. As Uryu fell Hanataro caught her and picked her up fire-man style. "Don't scream."

**Bleach OST: Comical world**

"What-"before Uryu continued, Hanataro transformed the scalpel back into a katana and threw it with all of his might towards the top of the tower. When the Blade was three inches in from of his outstretched hand Hanataro **Shunpo'd **on top of the blade and sored off to the tower.

"How is this physically possible, and where the hell did you learn this!" Uryu screeched as they flew. Hanataro sighed and answered her.

"From…my father-in-law." The young medic deadpanned.

**~Flashback: END~  
><strong>

Everyone gaped as Hanataro glanced over the group. He froze as he saw Unohana's slightly wide stare.

"Retsu…" Hanataro asked as he grabbed the hilt of his blade. He gave her a small smile. "Today will you guide my blade or fall by it?" He asked with the same smile on his face.

"Today, we are comrades." She answered with her own one-more-step-and-everythinging-you-ever-cherish-will-be-eradicated-as-by-my-bare-hands-as-I-drink-my-sake-from-your-hollowed-out-skull smiles.

"Good." Hanataro nodded. If one were to look very close they would notices that both squad four members were surprised. Hanataro for still being alive, and Unohana because one, Hanataro's not so subtle threat, and 2 because she was sure he'd last longer than five seconds.

Because honestly two days ago he would have died just from her releasing her Reiatsu.

Suddenly their eyes widened as they felt powerful Reiatsu headed towards them.

"Hanataro! What does your scanner say about their power level?" Hanataro glared and bit back a curse as he answered.

"THERE-"

"Don't you dare fucking finish that!" Ichigo roared physically tackling the poor medic to the ground. "We are not about to enter a powerful battle with an overused meme!" Uryu sighed at their antics as she cleaned her glasses.

"It doesn't matter I have an unstoppable plan. Let Aizen come." Uryu drawled as Yoruichi snapped her head towards the Quincy.

"And what plan is that?" Yoruichi asked skeptically causing Uryu to chuckle as she put on her glasses, which made the shine.

"Now, now Yoruichi you know that curiosity…" Uryu began with a smirk as her glasses shone brighter. Ichigo watched in horror as she finished her sentence. "…Killed the cat." Ichigo screamed at the skies as he knew what would happen next.

_**YEAAAHHHHHHHHHH!**_ (**CSI Miami meme)**

"Nooooooo!"

**~Pause (End) ~ (From now on the end of the chapter will be "Pause"**

Maaka and Lex looked at the screen in pure disbelief. After 30 minutes Lex broke the silence.

"W-w-what the fuck just _happened?_" The blonde asked startled as Maaka sat back and covered his eyes with his hat.

"A mind fuck that's what." Lex nodded her head before she noticed a white folder on the ground.

"What's this?" Maaka shrugged.

"Open it might have clues to where that crazy son of a bitch went." Nodding her head she opened it.

_I have finally completed my contraption to send me to the __**Western**__ part of the universe to find possibly two more champions which I will begin when Ichigo is finished with his game. When I looked through the data I have acquired of the Western universe I found a young boy with an interesting __**scar**__ and a young man with an affinity for __**Spiders**_._ I still need to fix the eastern section, but I'll need help. _

_Maaka, Lexie_

_I have a mission for you in my absence._

_Go to my special team of informants in my organization called the Reviewers. If any of them or you yourselves have information on these champions give it to me ASAP or else I won't be able to recruit them for Judgment Day._

_You two will now be level 6 members of Review along with Malix2, Taeniaea, Zaralann, and my secret agent j14. Say the following oath for your membership. Say my name at the end so that I'll no you joined._

Lexie and Maaka read the oath and began to say the oath.

"**Read, Respect, and Review**

"**RebukeX7"**


	17. Rescue Rukia IX: DONT FUCK WITH AIZEN

**DELUXE CHAPTER**

**(Disclaimer: Still don't own Bleach, but I will, oh lord I will…"**

**AN: I just realized that I didn't explain my absence so here I go. My computer busted and I just got a new one with word. And even though it wasn't my fault I will give you guys a special treat at the end of this chapter.**

**I will give you my current prologue of my HPLIAG (It's still a work in progress but I believe I will be able to pull it off with enough info and a good beta **

**Also Lemons I've been trying to get lemons in to this fic for a while but once again don't know anyone able to help write. Anyway on to the story**

**EDIT: I'm also going to add another preview for another fic because I forgot to warn I wouldn't update cause of E3 and because people who care about the MAIN plot of my LIAG series want to know I give a better look about what judgment Day is really about, and it may blow their minds. However because of the dark nature of the MAIN plot people who only care about the humor are advised to just ignore it and read the crack I write.**

**EDIT 2: son of a- so when I finally decide to try a lemon FF goes crazy? It was SO hard to fit in… Now I got to redo this entire chap IF you are reading this I had this chapter done two days ago**

**Don't ask me to put lemon version on another site…I am way too lazy to any of that sides I deleted the lemon version in rage anyway.**

**ALSO: (Insert petition to get MA rating on FF here)**

**Going be short chap sorry guys but I couldn't wait any longer to release to you guys I could smell the pissed PMS coming if I waited longer. Next update will be regular length. Once again, I am so sorry for the inconvenience.**

**This Chapter might no be as funny as a majority of my chapters, because I had to figure out a new way to end this arc and enter the next one. So you are warned this is the end of the Rescue Rukia arc.**

**Chapter 16: Rescue Rukia IX: DON'T FUCK WITH AIZEN**

**Play**

__**Seireitei: Squad 10 Captain's office~**

Currently find the captain of squad 10 looking at Byakuya with wide eyes.

"You mean if I make myself horrible fan girls will leave me alone forever?" Byakuya nodded. "And Matsumoto will quit hugging me inappropriately?" This time Byakuya nodded slower and raised an eyebrow at the young captain.

"Excuse me Hitsugaya-taicho, but are you perhaps a homosexual?"

"WHAT!"

"Never mind any way yes she would. "

"If this works so well why don't you do it?" At this Byakuya froze for a few seconds before replying. His reply would be remembered by the white-haired boy forever.

"Please bitch, I'm fabulous."

**~With Ichigo's expedition~**

**BGM Bleach Comical world**

The expedition looked up and glared at the unexpected arrivals. When they looked at the newcomers they had to do a double take. In front of them were a drunken Aizen, a pissed off Tousen, and a face-palming Gin. As the silence rang throughout the area finally Gin answered the unasked questions.

"Aizen got depressed that you guys weren't moving as he calculated and got drunk, and consequently made Tousen watch various works of Samuel L. Jackson for 24 hours, thus making Tousen pissed off at the world for no apparent reason what-"

_*Shling*_

"SAY WHAT AGAIN I DOUBLE DARE YOU MOTHER FUCKER!"

"Damn it…This is your fault just face Aizen! You have no plan you have just been saying _"all according to plan_" When something coincidently goes your way!" Gin yelled at his leader who walked right up to chad and pointed a finger at him.

"Gin…you just need to chill*Hic* Aizen slurred looking directly at wide-eyed Chad.

"THAT'S NOT EVEN ME! THAT'S JUST ONE OF THE RYOKA!"

"What does the Ryoka look like?" Tousen asked Gin suddenly.

"Wha-"

"WHAT COUNTRY YOU FROM? THEY SPEAK ENGLISH IN WHAT?" Tousen roared.

"Son of a bitch." Gin groaned.

"Let me ask again what. Does. The. Ryoka. Look. Like?"

"He's Hispanic and-"

"Does he look like a bitch?" Gin glanced at the buff Teen.

"_Hell no."_

"*Hic* Shh this is part of my plan guys! I have alerted all of the powerful Captains to come here if we do not report back in 15 minutes~" Aizen said with a slur. "They _totally_ are going to look like criminals for trying to rescue a prisoner."

"That's it I've had enough of this who says we just waste these three, save Rukia, and go home?" Ichigo everyone but Uryu agreed causing Ichigo to look at her in confusion.

"I never got to use my plan." Uryu complained making Ichigo roll his eyes at her.

"*Hic* Oh you mean the one where the lieutenant of squad 12 records everything I say to incriminate me and you all pretend to be defeated, leading me into a false sense of security where I am then jumped by the most powerful Shinigami in the Seireitei?" Aizen asked raising an eyebrow.

**BGM: STOP**

Everyone looked towards the supposedly drunk captain with wide eyes. Suddenly he disappeared and reappeared with a heavily damaged Nemu, who he tossed at their feet.

"Here is your trash." Aizen said coldly as Uryu looked at him with wide eyes.

"H-how!" Aizen threw his glasses away and pushed back his hair; He turned to the young Quincy and gave her a smirk before giving her an answer she would NEVER forget.

"Bitch, I'm _Aizen_"

**BGM: Bleach Invasion**

The scenery crashed and everyone found themselves with a large gash on their chest except Aizen, Tousen, and Orihime (Who Aizen still had plans for later.) Everyone except himself and Tousen fell to the ground when he exerted his pressure.

"When did you get us with your Shikai?" Ichigo roared with wide-eyes.

"Remember when I pointed to your friend? You all had your eyes on my finger, but what you didn't notice was me stealthily activating my Shikai in your peripheral visions." Aizen knelt down and grabbed Ichigo by his face. "You see when you decided to show skill superior to that which I had planned for it was my time to access plan b.

"What's plan B?" Ichigo grunted.

"Simple. Steal the Hogyoku while you cause mass hysteria and use my complete hypnosis to make the care takers believe that Miss Kuchiki was well and fine when really I paid a visit to her and took the Hogyoku right from her.

"You monster! Where is she?" Ichigo growled.

"She's still within her cell, but the poor dear must have bled out at least an hour ago. You were too late. All I had to do was make you think you had one on me by my making myself seem oblivious to your increased power quite sad really." Aizen shook his head before continuing. "And your response to my acting, Gin, proved to me you can't be trusted to follow any order I give you. I even made poor Tousen here act like a fool in order to keep the act genuine, how disappointing you are."

"I will stop you!" Ichigo promised.

"I'd love to see you try come on Tousen we must leave."

"Yes, Lord Aizen." And with that a tear opened within the Sky and Aizen and Tousen ascended to Hueco Mundo. When they finally vanished Ichigo grunted and brought his hands together.

**BGM: END**

*Clap*

_Heal Nearby Allies? Yes!_

_Remove Zanpakuto effects from nearby allies? Yes!_

_*Clap*_

"Come on guys we have to hurry to the Rukia's cell." Ichigo ordered as he slowly stood.

"Damn it Ichigo why didn't you do this earlier!" Uryu shouted as everyone stared at Ichigo warily.

"I have my reasons lets go." Ichigo sighed as he headed towards Rukia's cell.

**~White Room~**

"This counts as a loss right?" Lexie asked as Maaka stopped tuning his guitar.

"I'd reckon so, but let the kids at least pay their respects to their friend before you hit restart." Maaka told the smaller blonde.

"Okay, you know I expected more from one of the **seven**, I looked up to them, but it looks like he doesn't live to his reputation."

"Now, now ya pixie. That Aizen is a tough guy you can't completely blame the kid."

"Whatever." Lexie said with a huff. "They made it to their cell I guess it's time to pay attention."

**~Rukia's cell~**

Every member of the expedition, minus Ichigo, looked at the fallen form of their friend with sadness. Rukia was on her side in a puddle of blood unmoving.

"**Okay Ichigo enough of the pity party commence operation: blow their fucking minds." **Zangetsu said dryly making Ichigo smirk. Reaching in to his pocket Ichigo retrieved one of the revival beads **(Remember chapter 6?). **The expedition watched in amazement as the life re-entered the fallen Shinigami. Slowly standing, and slightly wincing, Rukia turned her attention towards Ichigo.

"Did…did I die?" She asked cautiously as Ichigo slowly nodded his head. Much to the surprise of everyone, but Ichigo, Rukia broke into a wide grin and performed a successful flying glomp onto our orange haired hero. "The plan worked!" She shouted in joy as Ichigo chuckled at the looks of disbelief he was receiving.

Hell even Nemu gaped.

"What plan?" Soifon asked the question that was on everyone's mind.

"We would like to know as well." The booming voice of the captain commander stated as he and the remaining captains walked in to the area.

"_Holy shit that old man makes that haori look fucking badass."_ Ichigo thought before shaking his head. "Well I can't reveal everything…" The commander narrowed his eyes as Ichigo continued. "But, let's just say that Aizen may or may not have a rigged Hogyoku…"

**PAUSE**

**~White Room~**

"Don't. Say. A _fucking _word." Lexie growled. Maaka smirked and went back to tuning his guitar.

"I won't say anything to tease you but, let me give you some advice I gave my little sis." Maaka said as he looked at the pixie seriously. "Don't quit on hope because if you do you quit on life." Lexie looked at him for a second before turning away.

"I'm taking a break and raiding the fridge." She stated suddenly and floated off making the young man chuckle.

"Bring me back some meat!" Going back to his guitar, Maaka strummed a cord._ "Sounds better than it has in a while, maybe it's a sign of good fortune? I wonder if Rebuke has anything to do with it?"_ Unknowingly at the same time both Lexie and Maaka stared off in space with the same thought.

"_Where are you?"_

**-The truth about Judgment Day-**

**(Warning: No humor follows and may include symbolism that may be uncomfortable for some, viewer discretion is advised. Honestly the only people I know that can probably understand what follows are people who paid attention when beating a persona game or paid attention to the plot beneath the crack of all my stories. Not because the following involves the games but because the game forced them to see humanity differently. Don't flame if you don't get it and if you do get it review I'm interested to see what you think.)**

**IF Skipping type Ctrl+f and type Skip2extra for good stuff**

**~True Earth~**

As the rain poured, Rebuke looked around as people pass him by without as much as a single glance. Looking closer he noticed that they all were either wearing earphones, talking on their cell phones, or looking at a news report on a TV through a store window. With a frown he looked towards the floating woman in front of him.

"Why…" Rebuke began as he glared at the being in front of him. Her raven hair reached her mid back, which had two ebony wings sprouting from it. She was wearing a black Toga and had black bandages covering her eyes.

"_**Why what?"**_ The being asked making the master of games glare at her.

"Why are you on this Earth? Why is THIS your lair when there are so many more powerful worlds you could conquer for your army? There is nothing on this planet but regular humans!" Rebuke growled frustrated.

"_**Pathetic since your ignorance knows no limits let me explain…this so called "Real earth" or "Regular earth" is the most powerful of them all."**_ The Goddess said with complete sincerity. Rebuke looked at her in horror.

"What do you mean most powerful? They can't do anything but make weapons." Rebuke stated trying to see if the being in front of him honestly thought that he was an idiot.

"_**Sad such promise you have, yet you're so stupid. It amazes me that YOU are my biggest threat."**_ The woman shook her head. _**"They are the strongest because they MADE the multiverse, and when they are destroyed the multiverse goes with them."**_ Rebuke took a step back in disbelief.

"You're insane. If they are so powerful how could you destroy them and why can't they see or hear this conversation and take you out now?"

"_**Because I've already won."**_

"What?"

"_**Look around you I gave them the greatest gift of all…ignorance."**_ The Goddess murmured while extending her arms. Rebuke looked around and noticed that various electronics began to rise in volume.

"You're a monster…"

"_**Am I? Imagine this, one of the humans who have fallen into blissful ignorance is still so powerful that he's the only reason we are even having this conversation! These…MORTALS don't deserve this power! But I am too weak to stop even a single one of them directly…"**_

"Which brings up the question on how you plan to stop them?"

"_**Thanks to my gift of ignorance whenever a particular human reaches their full potential they are either too old, ignored, or assassinated. This has only been able to control them, but soon they will all destroy each other and everything can finally be put to rest."**_

"Why would you kill yourself? YOU GAIN NOTHING!"

"_**Because…I'd rather not exist than be the playthings of one of these fools…I am a GODDESS!"**_ The Goddess said with a look of disgust. She whipped her head back towards Rebuke when she heard the unthinkable…

He laughed

**BGM: persona 3 Heartful Cry**

Above the two the clouds began to clear as sun shined on the game master.

"_**What, have you finally accepted the inevitable?"**_

"To think I was scared of you… bitch you are nothing but a bad nightmare."

"_**YOU DARE!"**_

"Yes I do because you just told me how to defeat you.' Rebuke said with a chuckle and he could picture her eyes widening behind the blindfold.

"_**What?"**_

"If you are going to use their minds to destroy them, I'll just use their imagination to liberate them by freeing more of the multi-verse."

"_**Explain."**_

"Well, let me test my hypothesis do you have any more control over Kishimoto or his fans, no wait let me answer for you…turn around." Turning around the Goddess saw a teen holding a Naruto manga looking at them with wide eyes.

"Whoa. Best cosplay ever…" The teen muttered. Rebuke chuckled as the boy dropped his manga in disbelief and continued to gape.

"Guess it's true what they say your imagination can set you free, Huh **Izanami?"** Rebuke asked making the woman frown.

"_**How did you know my name?"**_

"I use a persona based on you as my primary weapon in combat, I think I'd know a little something about who she's based off." Rebuke explained as if talking to a toddler to his arch-nemesis' annoyance. "Well today was profitable." Rebuke said simply as he began to walk towards a portal.

"_**And how is that?"**_The Goddess asked with a sneer.

"Well let's re-cap. I learned your plans, your weaknesses, confirmed your Identity, and gained a power that makes ignorance look like shit in comparison."

"_**WHAT! What is this power!"**_

Rebuke just gave her a smirk and a wink, but before he disappeared he whispered just loud enough for her to hear.

"Hope."

**(Skip2extra)**

**-Bonus (Work in progress)-**

**Title (Work in in progress): HP vs. HG: Life is a Game**

**Summary: (Work in progress): AU (Everything is canon except that the golden trio are all single post-Hogwarts) What happens when Harry believes that fate is a stronger deciding factor than knowledge? A two player game of legendary proportions. 4th in LIAG series can be read alone. HP/harem HG/harem femRon.**

**Prologue (Work in Progress)**

**-In an Apartment in London-**

At the moment we find our favorite three magic users lounging about lazily in Harry's muggle apartment. All three of the childhood friends were now young adults of twenty-one, and were remembering on old times. A somber Ronald Weasley lied back on the couch that he was sharing with Harry with a tired smile as he looked at a photo of his late brother.

"You know I still miss him." The red-head said sadly as Harry put his hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah I do too, but we can't mourn him forever. It's not what he would have wanted." Harry gave him a knowing smile. "That's what I tell myself whenever I think of Sirius." Hermione shook her head with a small sigh.

"If only there was a way to go back and fix things…" Hermione began as the others nodded their heads.

"But sadly, there isn't and all we can do is continue to move forward with our lives." Harry spoke sadly.

"I know, I know. I am just saying that if we _knew-"_

"Knowledge isn't everything Hermione." Harry interrupted quietly, but not rudely. "Some things are just fated to happen."

Now Hermione is considered by everyone, including herself, to be completely level headed and never has she been known to speak without thinking. However, over the years there has been an exception to that rule that continued to be more and more apparent as she grew older. Currently Hermione is known as the greatest witch of _their_ time by many and even _all time_ by a few. Hermione being who she is believes this to be because of one thing.

Knowledge.

Knowledge, to her, is her best weapon, her life, outlet to all her frustrations, and the very definition of her character. So Hermione would say that she is very protective of the idea that is known as knowledge. So that considered, it should be no surprise what she blurted out next.

"_Fuck fate."_ She said so seriously that Harry and Ron had to check to see if they heard right. When it was apparent that, yes, they heard _exactly _what they thought they did, two things happened.

Ron paled

And Harry narrowed his eyes.

Like Hermione, Harry as also become a powerful wizard and over the years he attributed his success to fate. Harry believes that fate is what controls how his life flows because of the events that had happened during his life, from his parents deaths, to the fall of Voldemort. So just like Hermione, Harry has become just as protective of the term fate as she has become of knowledge.

"_Repeat that again for me?_" Harry asked with narrowed eyes, which were matched by Hermione's. Ron paled as he knew what to expect next, for this was not the first time that this argument had begun. In fact, this argument was feared by all that knew Harry and Hermione. Rumor says that one argument got so out of hand that the two friends pulled their wands out on each other.

Ron would gladly disagree. He would tell you that: "Fuck no, that is no rumor, I was _there_ and I could have sworn I saw one or two unforgivables."

So yes Ron's fear is easily understood. Before the two could destroy Harry's apartment a voice interrupted them.

"You know I could help settle this argument and give you two a definite answer." Turning to the voice the golden trio saw a young dark-skinned man with white-eyes and short white spikey hair. He was wearing a black suit and seemed to have an amused smirk on his face. On his left leg was a gun-holster.

Ron, not wasting any time, jumped to his feet and charged the man, but quickly came face to face with an invisible wall. Stamping his foot down, the strange man yelled.

"YOU. SHALL. NOT. PASS." The man roared and what followed was an awkward silence. The only things that were heard were: Harry's groan, Hermione's face-palm, and Ron's mumbled "I don't get it."

"And what pray tell are you talking about mister…" Hermione began before she realized that she had no idea who this man was.

"Rebuke." The man answered making her nod her head. "I can let you three go back to your first year and change time for the better." The man said calmly. The trio were going to scoff at the idea, but something in the man's eyes told them that he was not bullshitting them. Nervously and sadly Harry spoke up.

"Even if we did. Voldemort is dead and under no circumstances should we risk him winning this time." Harry spoke quietly as Ron and Hermione looked down before snapping their heads back up when they heard the man laugh.

"That's the beauty of it! If either you or Hermione die, or if Voldemort looks like he will win then I can send you three back to this exact time as if nothing ever happened." The three looked at him with wide eyes.

"First of all why is it if me or Hermione die if all _three_ of us go back and secondly what do _you_ get out of it?" Harry asked with narrowed eyes.

"Good questions so I will answer them." The man said as he pulled out his gun. "For your first question you and Hermione there will be the players." At their expressions he continued. "What I am going to do is send you three into a game, a video game of sorts, and when either of you win the game will replace this reality."

"Amazing…" Hermione breathed before giving the man a distrusting glare. "But what of the second question? What do _you_ want?"

"Also a good question." The man stated as he scratched his head. "There is a war coming and I'll need one of you to fight for me. So why not the winner?" The man asked back.

"Why should we fight for you?" Hermione inquired skeptically.

"If you don't the thing I need you to fight will destroy everything anyway." Rebuke said simply making the three pale. The three moved to each other and spoke quietly before Ron spoke to the man.

'"Okay, they're in, but what are the rules?"

"Simple Harry here will represent Fate and Hermione will represent Knowledge which ever wins the game, by this I mean kill Voldemort first or has the highest score at the time, will prove which is more powerful; Fate or Knowledge."

"Should be simple enough. After all I was fated to stop him and I did that." Harry said nonchalantly as Hermione narrowed her eyes at him.

"Yes that's true, but you forget that now I know how to defeat him a swell." Hermione retorted making Harry widen his eyes. "I believe beating me will be harder than you think." She finished giving him an evil smirk.

"GREAT! Now that that is settled. Bon voyage!" And with that the strange man shot the three in the head. Once again once the golden trio regained consciousness they would embark on another perilous adventure.

_TEASER 1_

_A trembling Rita Skeeter paled as she was backed into a corner by a furious brunette. Raising her right fist Hermione growled._

"_I am sick. And TIRED. Of your disingenuous assertions!" She roared before releasing the vicious punch._

_TEASER 2_

_So caught up in his thoughts on how much he hated Snape, Harry almost screamed when he was hit by a ball of paper. Looking at the ball that landed next to his cauldron, Harry picked it up and read it._

_Turn around_

_~HG_

_Paling Harry turned to see a smiling Hermione holding a pack of sunflower seeds. She put one in her hand and looked at him innocently. Harry wasn't fooled however because he knew_

_Oh Merlin he __**knew**_

_Ever since this game began he and Hermione used every chance they got to sabotage each other, the only exceptions were at the dining hall and when Ron ordered a momentary truce. Harry shook his head frantically as she took aim with the seed. She ignored him and tossed the small seed into his cauldron._

_*plop*_

"_Oh fu-"_

_***BOOOOOOOOM***_

_**Next fic (WIP) **_**Spidey's Life is a Game! (Shout out to 117jorn for giving me to perfect way to approach this series you rock dude)**

**Summary (WIP): How the events of Ultimate marvel versus Capcom could have affected Spider-man's life. Spidey/harem possible eventual X-23/Kiden Nixon. Spider-man/X-23 is Mentor/Student until further notice.**

**Prologue (WIP): The Team is made**

**~Manhattan: Abandoned Warehouse **

**! Spider-sense!**

"_You know it's times like this when I wonder if other heroes have to deal with this crap." _Spider-man thought as he dodged _another_ barrage of kicks to his head. Catching the next incoming leg with his hand Spider-man snapped at his attacker. "WOMAN WILL YOU QUIT KICKING ME?" The woman nodded her with a smile. "Thank you now let me explain-"

**! Spider-sense!**

Spider-man bit back a curse as the female released a pink orb of energy at his face.

"**Kikoken!"**

Spider-man quickly dodged to the side and pointed a finger at his attacker.

"_Screw you. _Also, was that even _English?"_ The female wasn't entirely sure, but she could swear the lenses on his mask were twitching. Shaking the thoughts from her head she re-entered her fighting stance making the local Web-head grumble to himself.

"I haven't had to use this in months but it's time I used my secret weapon…" Spider-man began as he slipped into his own stance causing the woman to widen her eyes. "Thought I was just a brawler? Well I'm about to whoop your ass **Spider-style!" (To non-comic readers Spider-man developed a unique fighting style with the help of martial arts master Shang-Chi when he temporarily lost his Spider-sense)**

Quickly speed blitzing his opponent the two traded blow after blow and neither looked willing to give in, however with Spider-man's superior strength showing through the woman knew she had to figure out a way to even the playing field. Slipping behind him she stepped back and shot forward with both of her hands.

"**Kikosho! "**

**!Spider-sense MOVE MOTHER FUCKER!**

**-Slow-Mo-**

In Spider-man's eyes time seemed to go in slow motion. He saw the energy forming in her hands, but that wasn't what concerned him as he was sure he could web zip away at the last second. No what concerned him was the shadow that descending behind his current attacker. He could tell that his attacker felt the presence but was unable to move. Spider-man's sense allowed him to tell that the new intruder wasn't an enemy to him, but he wasn't about to let this woman get decapitated because of a misunderstanding.

Great power comes with great responsibility after all.

So without any hesitation Spider-man grabbed her hands, much to her surprise, and ignoring the pain in his left hand from the energy he threw her to the side and kicked the intruder away.

**-Real-time-**

"**Kikosho!"**

"_**Bye. By-oof!" **_X-23 grunted in pain and surprise when she was kicked away from her target.

"Now. Now Laura murder is still a no no." Spider-Man chastised the mutant much to her anger and disbelief. Before she could lapse into a berserker rage and destroy the buffoon in front of her she decided to take a deep breath and calm herself.

…Then she remembered that the kick fucking _hurt._

*Snickt*

"Don't snickt at me young lady or I'll tell Wolverine on you!" Our favorite web-head scolded her much to her annoyance.

"One day I will be the **best** there is at what I do, and when that day comes I am taking you out first."

"Cold."

"Shut-up."

"Excuse me but, why did you save me? Aren't you a villain?" The former attacker asked cautiously.

"Now why would you think that? I'm just your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man." The red and blue clad hero said proudly before pointing at a scowling Laura and continuing a deep gruff voice. "And this is Laura, or better known as X-23, she's the second best at what she does but what she does isn't very nice." Spidey finished and side-stepped a smack from the pissed off clone. The woman deadpanned at the two.

"That isn't very reassuring. I'm Chun-li I'm an Interpol officer." At their blank stares she mumbled to herself. "Different universe." She clarified and had to stop herself from gaping as the two nodded as if that made complete sense. "Anyway, what would you expect that I do? I wake up in a new world and the first thing I see is a newspaper claiming you were the greatest villain of all time." She wasn't sure, but she thought she saw the lenses on Spider-Man's mask narrow in anger. She and Laura spent the next five minutes watching the hero stomp around cursing about Hitler-mustached bastards.

X-23 filled her in on why the newspaper claimed all of those things, making the cop face-palm and she apologized to the wall climber profusely.

"Well I can't in good conscious just leave you here so how about **WE** help you find a way home?" Spider-Man offered as he shot a web-ball at Laura, who was trying to exit the building stealthily.

"Why are you making _me_ help?" Laura growled causing Spider-man to roll his…

…Lenses?

Which coincidentally made Chun-li's eyes narrow as she glared at his mask; sure that she had definitely saw movement of the lenses.

"Because Laura, one day I'm going to be too old to be a hero and this body will become weak and the same is true with a good amount of the current heroes. This means that it will be up to your generation to uphold the hero community, and if you are anything like Logan you are going to be young for a _long_ time." Spider-man put his hand on her shoulder as he looked at her wide eyes. Laura didn't think it was possible for the annoying hero to sound so serious. Chun-li also watched the Exchange with rapt attention.

"Why are-"Laura began but was interrupted by, according to Cable, The greatest hero of All time. **(Avengers: X-sanction issue#4)**

"I'm telling you this because I just got the greatest idea ever." She wasn't sure but she could swear he was grinning. "Knowing my luck I most likely won't make it to age 40 so I'm going to give you private lessons on what being a hero is all about so that one day you can take my place in New York. Screw Avengers academy. Welcome to Spidey University today you begin your first project." Spidey then pointed at Chun-li. "Help her get home." Laura was completely confused at that point, so she just nodded her head.

"Wait are you sure it's a good idea to team up? We were fighting 10 minutes ago." Chun-li pointed out making the hero shrug.

"Meh no team gets along at first."

**END: What's in store for this strange team?**

_TEASER 1_

_A crazed Kimura stood over a downed Laura._

"_I told you I would be back, and there is no one who can help you now." She advanced toward the bloodied X-23 before stopping when two figures landed on her left and right side. "What?_

"_**Hoyokusen!"**_

"_**Crawler…ASSAULT!"**_

_Hearing the voices Laura couldn't help the small smile that appeared on her face._

_TEASER 2_

"_Like you know about clones or being ripped off web-head." Logan snorted, but stopped when he realized what he said and who he said it to. Dante and Trish looked around at the wincing faces of the assembled heroes and Trish voiced her concern._

"_Did…did it just get colder in here?"_

"_Damn it Logan…" Tony grumbled._

"_I think it might be a good Idea for you to leave the room Jessica…" Captain America whispered to Spider-woman who quickly exited._

"_I don't get it." Deadpool complained and quickly went flying via a red-clad fist with web patterns._

_TEASER 3_

"_Shit we can't be losing Jean…again." Logan grumbled as Storm looked on in concern._

"_I can't…Control it!" Jean grey roared as flames began to shoot from her back._

"_Well you better learn bitch!" Spider-Man yelled. "__**Ultimate WEB!**__ Gotcha!__**" **__Slamming Phoenix into the ground and rendering her unconscious our favorite web head pointed at her body. "LOOOSSERR" He stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around he came face to face with Cyclops holding out his hand._

"_Join the X-men." Stunned as everyone else Spider-Man just looked at the hand. Cyclops pressed harder. "Please."_

_**Also before anyone asks why not X-23/Hellion. Quite frankly I don't like Hellion. Everyone has their own opinions and I respect that. If that is going to be an issue when reading this fic well I have other fics you can read and there is a pretty red X at the top of your screen begging to be clicked.**_

_**Read and Review**_

_**-RebukeX7**_


	18. Special AN: Words i never wrote

**Disclaimer don't own Naruto, Bleach, or Pokémon**

**Special: Words I never wrote part 1**

**Dedicated to anyone who has lost their fics**

**~White Room~**

**BGM: ****The Avengers Theme - The Avengers (The Score) [Alan Silvestri]**

**-Slam-**

Six figures looked up as Rebuke strode into the room with a scowl planted firmly on his face. Leaning on a wall, Rebuke glanced at the room's occupants he sighed before speaking in a grave tone.

"Do you know why I have called you here?"

"Cause you were bored-ttebayo." A blonde haired man said while leaning on his chair. Rebuke shook his head as an orange-haired swordsman face-palmed.

"Are you fucking serious?" Ichigo groaned making Naruto narrow his eyes at him.

"Yo, what's your deal?"

"My deal is that it's obviously something important, or can you not read the atmosphere?" Ichigo stated simply.

"Enough. The reason I have called you here is that we are facing a threat that may rival that of **Judgment Day."** Rebuke said grimly making everyone turn their attention to him.

"…?"

"Good question Red." Rebuke complimented as everyone else tried to figure out how they had understood the silent ten year old. "This concerns you because this threat is destroying the alternate realities of your home world."

"…"

"We are going to try, which is why I have called you here. The seven of us are going to temporarily reform an old group of mine known as **X7.**" This made Naruto narrow his eyes at the white-haired male.

"It seems a little desperate seeing as the only living members of the original group are you, me, and Ichigo."

"This threat has made me very desperate, but first I think we should do a head count to see who were working with." Rebuke told the room before pointing at the boy.

"First we have Pokémon Master Red, he controls countless of powerful beasts to do his bidding." Rebuke introduced.

"…"

"Okay how can we understand him when he says nothing, and also how powerful are we talking. Seriously this kid has got to be like ten years old." Ichigo asked incredulously as Naruto nodded his agreement.

"This _kid_ is as old as you; he agreed to let me make him younger so he could save his world." Rebuke stated making Ichigo grin sheepishly. "Many of his creatures control the elements, but some control reality itself." Everyone looked at the kid with a little more respect, as Rebuke continued.

"Next we have a triple S-class threat, with a pray on sight order. He is the leader of a Ninja village. He is Konoha's Orange Hokage, Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze." Naruto grinned at his introduction. "Ha beat that carrot top." Ichigo just shook his head amused.

"Now we have Ichigo Kurosaki, I'll keep it simple he became one of the most power gods of death at the tender age of sixteen…and he's not even fucking dead yet." Ichigo smirked at Naruto who yawned.

"Not bad, I'll give you that-ttebayo."

"Now we have the first of my own personal protégé's Maaka Oro, He is a Master Soldier who's combat experience and reaction time even gives me a run for my money when we spar."

"Howdy." A man with a cowboy hat said.

"We should spar sometime." Naruto said raising an eyebrow at the supposedly pinnacle of soldiers.

He got a shark toothed grin in response.

"My second Protégé, Lexie" Rebuke pointed to a blue-eyed, blond haired girl, who had crimson pixie wings. "She's a blood pixie, controls fire and blood, DON'T. PISS. HER. OFF." Rebuke yelled with a shiver. "She can honestly melt you from the inside out."

"And finally there is me. The master of games, and a current owner of the Fool arcana."

"Umm what about her." Ichigo asked as he pointed a blind-folded woman with ebony wings and waist length black hair. He raised an eyebrow as Rebuke, Maaka, and Lexie groaned at the mention of the black toga wearing woman.

"How do I put this she's a temporary ally who has some questionable motives in life."

"**Put it simple. I'm going to kill everyone in this room, and for two of you it will be a second time."** The woman said as she finished her sentence by looking at Ichigo and Naruto. Naruto, who unlike Ichigo, regained his past memories and glared at Rebuke.

"What the hell man she put a spear through my chest and made my sister explode. Or did you forget that shit?"

"I'm _**very**_ desperate."

"How can we even trust her."

"**Lying is beneath me, and I don't want to be erased just yet so I'll allow myself to help you out." **Naruto glared but sat down.

"Anyway there are six enemies we need to kill before we can find out who is responsible. I'll send you to your respective worlds and you will take them out, understood? Failure is not an option." The other six looked at him as he finished his speech.

"…" Red turned away.

"You can count on me-ttebayo" Naruto yelled enthusiastically.

"I'll do it to protect my friends." Ichigo said determined.

"Nothin' better to do." Maaka said with a shrug.

"I don't get paid enough for this." Lexie sighed

"**Sooner, I kill the enemy, the sooner I kill you."**

"We will meet back here in an hour, hurry!" They nodded before they faded away into thin air. Rebuke sighed before turning to a screen. "It comes down to this huh?"

"_Fourth Wall: Break in case of emergencies"_

_*CRASH*_

Rebuke took a deep breath before beginning.

"Listen you cock-sucking mother fuckers, it was one thing when you deleted stories that actually had too much adult content, and even then someone would have to go out of their way to read them because M-rated stories are not only marked as mature, but fucking filtered automatically when you first look at a category, but now it's going a little too far." Rebuke shook his head as he sat down.

"You know how many p.m.'s I have received because people were scared of my stories getting taken down**? One-hundred and fucking fifty seven**, and they have a good reason too after all if fucking _**Naruto reads Naruto**_ was taken down what hope does this fic have exactly? I'll tell you NONE.

"Hell after this I'm pretty sure some ass is going to delete this because I'm calling you out but guess what!" Rebuke raises empty hand in front of him "You know what this is? This is the amount of fucks I give."

"If this gets deleted 'I'll just post on another site simple, I'm not a noob I have all my chapters on my computers so go ahead. Limit my free speech if you are feeling unconstitutional. It'' only serve to help me because my readers will see how messed up you are." Rebuke gave one last sad smile to his fans.

"Not sure if this will be the last time I see you guys on this site, guess I'll find out by the end of this week if my stories and/or account are still up. What can I say? It has been fun" Rebuke gave one more smile as a tear slipped from his eye. "IF my stories have taught you anything hopefully, it was to enjoy life to the fullest. Life is the world's toughest game, do me a favor and beat it."

"Rebuke Out"

**I'll continue this filler arc in the AN's of my future chapters. The fights will be in the author note of the respective stories. So for future reference. Here are the fights and where to find them when I upload them. Remember the fights are all filler so it really doesn't even matter so don't get butt hurt over them.**

**Naruto VS Real Madara- Naruto's life is a game**

**Ichigo VS Ulquiorra - Bakudo X: Life is a game**

**Red VS Giovanni- Red's life is a game**

**Lexie VS Maaka-Life is not a game**

**Goddess (Final villain of my series) VS Izanagi- Life is not a game**

**Rebuke VS ?-Posted in AN of all stories**

**Email me at RebukeX7 if you find another site to post on.**

**If you haven't realized by yet that this was an author note in disguise well now you know, I can't see why author notes can't be entertaining!**

**~RebukeX7**


	19. Hangover part 1

**Disclaimer: it's a good thing I don't own Bleach or else the manga would never get updated.**

**RebukeX7: So As I reader I used to believe that writers Bull shitted when they said school got in the way…**

**Jorn117: -snort- **

**RebukeX7: -rolls eyes- turns out that is very real I don't even know how it started I just woke up and had no writing time for weeks.**

**Jorn117: Karma's a bitch**

**RebukeX7: Anyway I have a somewhat working schedule, I make no promises but it shouldn't take more than 3 weeks for an update.**

**Jorn117: Okay Red's cool and all but let's see what Ichigo's been up to.**

**RebukeX7: What do you mean? I told you to pause the game so that they wouldn't get up to any mischief…**

**Jorn117: Fuck…I forgot**

**RebukeX7: -face palm- son of a bitch!**

**Chapter 17: Bleach Hangover Part one**

**Flashback: Day after rescuing Rukia**

As Ichigo walked down the streets of the Seireitei he caught sight of Captain Unohana and Hanataro sitting on a bench. Noticing the orange haired boy, Hanataro waved him over as he stood up from his seat.

"Yo Ichigo do me a favor…" Hanataro began in nonchalant manner as he scratched his head. Slightly confused Ichigo shrugged.

"Depends on what it is."

"Well you see I'm going to have a wedding ceremony and-"

"What! You're getting married?" Ichigo shouted in surprise. Ichigo tried to remember all his interactions with the smaller Shinigami and had no memories of the medic even hinting at having a spouse.

"Well I _am_ married. Not getting married thanks to you." Hanataro said the last part with a slight glare.

"Oh you have to explain this one to me." So with a defeated sigh Hanataro told the tale of his shot-gun wedding as his captain continued to sip on her tea as if everything was right in the world. Ichigo's eyes grew wider as he heard every detail of the story.

"_Wow, I REALLY fucked up the time line._" Ichigo thought incredulously as he gaped at the young medic.

"Anyway, my _sweet_ Captain believed that it would reflect poorly on the 4th division if I didn't have a proper wedding so here I am." Hanataro finished as he leaned on a nearby tree.

"So what do you want me to do?"

"Go buy some formal attire; I need my best man to be properly dressed." Hanataro revealed as if he were talking about the weather.

"Wait! Why am I your best man!?" Ichigo question in disbelief

"_**Because it's your fault." **_Hanataro, Unohana, Zangetsu, and a passing by Shinigami said in unison making the teen sweat drop.

"...point." Ichigo conceded

"Great, oh and before I forget; do not drink **anything** a busty Strawberry blonde woman offers you. You are still human and I have no idea how our drinks affect your kind."

"Or vice-versa apparently." The serene captain muttered. After the caffeine high of the coffee dissipated she has been trying to repress any memories that threatened to pop up about her time with Ichigo's friend.

Much to Hanataro's absolute amusement.

"That reminds me make sure Orihime comes with the rest of your group." Hanataro smirk when he felt the tree he was leaning on shatter from his captain's Reiatsu. Ichigo sweat dropped before agreeing. Not knowing what the future had in store for him.

**Flashback end: Present**

**Ichigo POV**

Feeling the sun's rays on my eyes I sat up in my bed and released a long yawn. My head was killing me but that was to be expected, I know I promised Hanataro I would but when Rangiku offered me the drink with her cute pout how could I resist?

How Toshiro gets any work done I'll never know, but I bet he'll be a menace in a few decades when puberty kicks in. That's weird I have the sudden urge to keep him away from Karin…

Oh well.

Stretching a bit I glance over to Rukia who's head is buried in her Chappy pillow while two toddlers snored quietly next to her. One was a boy with black hair and the other was a girl with brown hair, both couldn't be more than three years old. I couldn't help but smile at the sight. Sitting up I covered both of them in a blanket before stepping over the bodies of Uryu and Yoruichi on the floor. I smiled as both Nemu and Soifon tossed my first division jacket over my shoulders with practiced ease before opening the bedroom door in my custom quarters and beginning a brand new day. It should come to no surprise when my body suddenly froze. Turning my head back to the scene I couldn't help but gape.

What.

_The_

_**FUCK!**_

"**Well look who's finally sobered up."** A cool feminine echoed throughout the depths of my soul.

"Z-z-Zangetsu…" I couldn't help but stutter. "What happened last night?" If the old man finds me in his coat I'm dead. I watched curiously as Soifon and Nemu looked at me in shock before gaining a knowing expression.

"Here you might need to sit down." Soifon advised softy, thus furthering my shock, as Nemu dialed a number on her phone.

"Yamada-taicho Ichigo has sobered, I repeat he has sobered this is not a drill." Suddenly Hanataro appeared next to me as a white Haori flowed in the breeze over his right shoulder**. (Think how Ichigo's dad wears his.) ** He tilted his head slightly as he looked at me.

"Can someone please tell me what happened last night?" I whispered furiously, not wanting to wake the other occupants of the room and add more confusion. "Why are two toddlers in by bed with Rukia and why are there four other women in my room?"

"Four?" Hanataro glanced to the side, no doubt doing a head count, before shrugging. "The rest must be out." He said smoothly. I felt my heart nearly give out as I paled and collapsed further in to my chair."

"Please...I just want answers" There I did it. I fucking _BEGGED. _I was_ desperate._

"What's the last thing you remember clearly?"

"I drank something Rangiku gave me at your wedding last night, I admit I have a large hangover but it wasn't as bad as you thought." I answered truthfully.

"_**Oh boy…"**_

I could almost feel Zangetsu shaking her head at me. Much like Hanataro was doing now.

"Okay I'll speak calmly in order to help to regain your memories. I walk you through everything that you have done since you had that drink but I'll need you to try not to panic."

"Okay I promise." I have never broken my word!

"Captain Commander Kurosaki it has been two months since that drink."

…Until now.

I found myself surrounded in darkness as I surrendered to blissful unconsciousness.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**An1) Before you rage I did NOT skip over the Major Arcs you will see every adventure Ichigo has had up to the defeat of Aizen ** **as he tries to figure out how his life changed so drastically.**

**An2) Sorry about the neglect After Red's first region is done (approx. 1-4 chapters) I can put it on a slight hiatus and focus on finishing this fic.**

**Read and Review**

**~RebukeX7**


	20. Hangover Part 2

**Disclaimer if I owned bleach final arc wouldn't have happened.**

**RebukeX7: wow. People actually enjoyed the last chapter I'm surprised.**

**Jorn117: Me too, I mean YOU wrote it.**

**RebukeX7: Fuck you.**

**Chapter 18: Bleach Hangover pt. 2**

"So I'll make things simple and start around the time the Arrancar attacked Karakura town." Seeing a slightly twitching Ichigo Hanataro held his hand up to silence the apparent captain commander. "The kids won't be until the end of this tale."

"Fine. But there had better be a good reason why I have two kids under my care."

"Oh trust me it will blow your fucking mind." Hanataro promised as he gained a glint in his eye making Ichigo begin to feel uncomfortable. "Anyway I gathered the information from everyone who was with you for the past two months so that I could have one complete story to tell you. Anyway we'll start when…"

**-Flash Back: Just before Arrancar attacked-**

**Seireitei: Division 11 Lieutenant's quarters**

**BGM: Pieces by Red**

**Hanataro POV**

It was just before dawn the sky was grayish colors as it continued to storm I sighed as I watched the rain continue to fall.

"Hana-Chan, come back to bed." I turned back to the bed where I saw my pink haired wife rub her eyes tiredly. I crossed my arms as I watched her pull up the sheets to cover her body.

"Is there a point to covering yourself? I saw everything anyway." I couldn't help but smirk as her permanent blush got darker.

"I know but its cold Hana-Chan!" I shivered as the wind blew by proving her point.

"Okay you have a point. But I can't come back yet." I closed my eyes when I saw her eyes snap open as she sat up. This was going to be hard.

"Why not? You're not going anywhere again are you?"

"Actually yeah, to the real world starting today."

"What! Why?" I could almost hear her pout.

"I have a bad feeling a war is coming and Ichigo is going to be at the center of it, he'll need all the help he can get."

"Is Orange-Chan still acting funny?" Yachiru questioned as I fought back a smirk.

"Yup he's still drunk. Which is why he'll need all the help he can get."

"Just…come back safely I _need _you to stay alive." She seemed to be holding something back, and in all honesty if I didn't know what it was I'd probably concerned. I walked up to her a placed my hand on her stomach making her gasp.

"Don't worry when I come back, I'll take the Captain's test so I can be around more often for you _and_ the baby."

"How-"

"I'm a medic. " I said simply making her giggle. Walking to the side of the bed I picked up my uniform and tossed it on. "I'll be back in no time." I promised as I exited the room, the fact that I could still here her crying made every step I took feel like a spear to the heart.

But I had to do what I had to do.

**BGM: End**

**-Present-**

All those present in the room had tears in their eyes. Hell even Ichigo had to wipe a quick tear.

"***sniff*"**

"_Seriously, Zangetsu?"_

"**Shut up!"**

"Anyway later at Karakura…"

**-Flash Back-**

**General P.O.V**

Orihime and Chad glared at the two Arrancar in front of them.

"You two have strong souls! You guys will fill me up well!" The larger Arrancar gloated before disappearing in a blur and reappearing in front if Chad with his fist drawn back, but before he could land a hit…

**BGM: Bleach Number one**

He found himself kicked in the stomach and sailing across the battlefield as Ichigo came in to view in front of his friends with his head down.

"Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime cheered as Chad stepped back.

"Yes, but is he well?' The tall Latino questioned causing Orihime to quiet down.

"You…" Ichigo began with his head down as Yammy stood up. "HOW DARE YOU STAND IN FRONT OF MY FOOT AS I TRY TO DO A BADASS ENTRANCE?" Ichigo roared in righteous fury as everyone but the smaller Arrancar face faulted.

"_He…he wasn't even aiming for me!" _Yammy thought incredulously.

"Stand back Yammy…I'll handle this." The smaller Arrancar said softly before back handing Yammy even further across the battlefield making Chad and Orihime sweat drop. Ulquiorra looked at Ichigo impassively as Ichigo glared at the Arrancar.

The battlefield was tense.

Everyone waited for the first exchange, when Ichigo finally opened his mouth.

"Ulquiorra…" Ichigo began as his eyes narrowed. Ichigo then asked the question that the first three espada didn't bother to ask and espada's five through ten were too scared to ask.

Except Grimmjow, but when it looked like he was about to ask it he found himself beat down mercilessly by the fourth espada.

**BGM: Bleach Comical world**

"…Why do you have boobs?" Ichigo questioned before instantly appearing in front of the black haired espada. Taking his hands he grabbed both them and looked at his nemesis with wide eyes. "Oh dear God there real…" Ichigo then sent a swift kicked in between the now wide eyed espada's legs. When Ulquiorra didn't budge Ichigo paled.

"**Are you fucking kidding me?" **Zangetsu roared.

"Oh you bastard, what the fuck happened to you?" Ichigo slightly slurred as he took a step back, but with his current lack of balance he fell to the ground just as a blade went over his head courtesy of an irate espada.

"_F-fast." _Ulquiorra thought in disbelief as a wide-eyed Ichigo put his hand on his chest, trying to calm his beating heart.

"_I almost fucking died!" _ Neither Ichigo, nor Zangetsu could believe how lucky he was when he fell.

"You must be Kurosaki Ichigo, you are a powerful adversary…to thing that you could dodge me from such a close distance is troubling…I cannot hold back against you.

"_**He/I didn't dodge you psycho bitch!"**_ Was the general thought among everyone in the area, including Yammy.

**-Present-**

"Bullshit." Ichigo deadpanned making Hanataro sigh.

"**It's the truth Ichigo."** Zangetsu said sincerely making him gape.

"How is that even possible? Ulquiorra is a _man_." Ichigo bit out as he felt his headache get worse. Hanataro shrugged.

"That's also later in this story, like half way, and trust me; it's _your_ fault."

"Son of a bitch."

**-Flash Back-**

As the drunken Ichigo continued to dodge the slashes…barely, Ulquiorra grew more and more agitated.

"Such power and agility, now I see why Aizen-sama sees you as so important. " as Ichigo slipped on a wet patch of grass, thus dodging a vertical chest slash, Ulquiorra stepped back and pointed a finger at the fallen boy. Ichigo paled as a green orb appeared on the tip of the finger.

"**Cero."**

*****Boom*

When the dust cleared Ulquiorra saw that Ichigo was currently in the arms of a shorter black haired Shinigami.

"Don't worry Ichigo I got you." Hanataro drawled as he looked down at the teen.

**BGM: Careless whisper By George Michael**

"Hanataro…" Ichigo whispered

"Ichigo…" Hanataro smirked back.

"**H-hisagomaru" **Zangetsu stuttered in shock

"_**Zangetsu…**_**" **Came the robotic voice.

As the two continued to stare at each other the males in the area began to feel very uncomfortable while Orihime covered her face with her hands.

"You got cut." Hanataro said simply as he traced a scar on Ichigo's chest.

Ichigo turned away with a glare. "You should have shown up earlier idiot."

Hanataro chuckled and gave a quick apology. "But I'm here now, isn't that what matters most?"

"I-Idiot."

**BGM: END**

**-Present-**

Ichigo looked appropriately disturbed while Nemu and Soifon faces darkened at the tale.

"This story is creeping me the fuck out the more you tell it." Ichigo said with a grimace. Hanataro looked slightly hurt.

"You dislike my story telling?" Ichigo widened his eyes at the question.

"Oh no it's not that its-"

"Ichigo…" Hanataro cut him off as he gazed at him

"Hanataro…" Ichigo whispered back while Soifon and Nemu gaped.

"You two are doing this on purpose aren't you!?" Soifon bit out with a blush causing both of them to tilt their heads.

"Doing what?" Ichigo questioned.

"J-just continue."

**-Flash Back-**

As Ulquiorra gazed at the strange scene in front of her she felt something warm on her face. Wiping at it she noticed that she was bleeding from her nose.

"Kurosaki Ichigo…" The fourth espada growled out gaining everyone's attention. "You are truly a treacherous foe. You dodge my attacks without fighting back, no doubt because you are insanely more powerful than me, and then you wait out until reinforcements show up to cause a distraction. Then while I'm distracted you attack me somehow and cause me to bleed my own blood. You are truly formidable." Everyone, except Hanataro, gaped at her in disbelief.

"_**This bitch got the entire situation wrong!" **_Everyone thought simultaneously.

"We will meet again boy." Ulquiorra promised as she opened a Garganta. "Come Yammy, I must train…" She said as if the concept of training was foreign to her. "I will be the one to defeat you Kurosaki." And with that the disappeared as Yammy followed her, shaking his head in disbelief.

**-Present-**

"Are…are you serious right now? Are you sure this isn't all some cruel joke?" Ichigo stuttered in disbelief.

"Nope, and trust me it gets worse…" Hanataro said despondently making Ichigo bang his head against a nearby wall.

"Fuck me."

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**An: Holy shit another chapter already? Fuck yeah!**

**AN2: Just what the fuck happened in two months! Find out in the next chapter of BAKUDO X**

**~Read and Review~**


	21. Hangover part III

**-RE-UPLOADED DUE TO WORD MISSING A CRAP OF ERRORS-**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach…You would know what squad zero looks like.**

**RebukeX7: Holy…finally over 300 views! That deserves an early chapter!**

**117Jorn: -sniff- I'm so proud**

**RebukeX7:-raises middle finger- don't you have a LIAG lemon to write for MELIAG?**

**117jorn:-blinks- huh, how about that? Time to awaken my inner Jiraiya!**

**Rebukex7: It seems there is some slight confusion about the order of my Series so here it is the current time line.**

**NLIAG, Bakudo X, Mass Effect LIAG (Found on 117Jorn's page), and then RLIAG**

**Chapter 19: Hangover Part III**

**-Present-**

"Wait I have to ask, Aizen IS defeated right?" Ichigo questioned in concerned causing Hanataro to cough uncontrollably.

"**You can say that…"**Zangetsu intoned sounding very uncomfortable, thus increasing her master's worry.

"Aizen has been…taken care of if that's what you are asking but the future of Aizen will have to wait until I finish this tale, or else you might do something rash." The medic said sternly making Ichigo reluctantly agree. Something then clicked in the teen's brain making him gape.

"Holy fuck…I don't know how yet, but somehow I defeated Aizen and became the new leader of the Gotei 13…while drunk off my ass!" Ichigo said with a grin. "Am I awesome or what?" Soifon rolled her eyes at his attitude. She leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek, paralyzing him in shock.

"Yes darling, but let Yamada-taicho finish his tell there is still much you need to know." The petite captain said gently. Ichigo just slowly pointed a finger at her before turning to Hanataro with his best poker face.

"How long till you explain what the hell happened to her?" Ichigo questioned bluntly.

"We'll get there soon, anyway then not too much later you had your first encounter with an Arrancar named Grimmjow…" Hanataro began with a chuckle making Ichigo groan.

"Oh God, I got my ass beat didn't I?"

"Nope." The medic said making Ichigo look at him in disbelief.

"No way… how did I win?"

"You trained." Hanataro said before laughing hysterically.

**-Flash Back-**

**Hiyori P.O.V**

**Bleach OST: Comical world**

"_H-how did it end up like this?"_ I thought in disbelief as my vision blurred. My body ached all over and I couldn't stop from coughing up blood. I glared up at the back of the orange haired brat's head.

**-Flash back-**

**General POV**

"**I'll show you the power of the mask."** Hiyori growled menacingly before launching herself at Ichigo who much to her annoyance yawned before grabbing her blade with his hand.

"Sorry…" Ichigo began with a slur as white material began forming on his face. "I have 99 bitches…**But a MASK AINT ONE!"** Ichigo roared as he slung her across the room.

"_**You fucked the line up!"**_ Ogichi roared fromwithin Ichigo's soul. Ichigo then pulled off half of his mask before stomping his foot down angrily.

"Nu-uh!" Ichigo shouted before punching himself across the face.

"_**Uh-huh!"**_ Ogichi countered before using Ichigo's left hand to punch the boy in the face. This continued for about fifteen more minutes until Ichigo finally punched the rest of the mask off. Ichigo then turned to the downed Hiyori with a thumbs up.

"I won!" He said as his face was covered in self-inflicted bruises making the petite blond sweat drop.

**-End-**

**Hiyori POV**

"_To think I lost to this idiot!"_

"Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you but you don't have the training I'm looking for." The young man said to me from over his shoulder as he walked to the door of the warehouse. I looked up in wonder at his kind voice. "Wait for me, I'll protect you from Aizen." He said with a smile as the sun from the door made his body glow and as he soon as he left I felt my face heat up.

"Kyaaa!"

**POV end**

**Previous conversation, what had really happened.**

"**Damn it Ichigo throwing her that hard might have given her a concussion. Look at her you can tell she's gone delusional!" **Zangetsu shouted angrily making the drunken teen look at the blond.

"Sorry but your training sucks." Ichigo said before kicking the door open. "Whatever, I'll kick Aizen's ass for ya."

"Kyaaa!"

"What's wrong with that bitch?" Ichigo asked in confusion as he continued his trek home. _ "Whatever I still need to train or else I won't be ready for Grimmjow tomorrow morning."_

"**I don't know why you are training; you should be more than strong enough to take Grimmjow down now."**

"You just don't understand Zangetsu! This is a matter of pride, or did you forget when he punched me twenty times in the face?"

"**Well how do you plan to "Be ready" for Grimmjow by tomorrow?"** Zangetsu questioned making her master pause in mid step.

"I'll have to go ask my old teacher for training." Ichigo said with determination as he began to walk again.

"**Oh God…What makes you think SHE would help you?"**

"I'm desperate I have no other choice."

**BGM: End**

**-Present-**

A pale Ichigo was looking at Hanataro in horror as if he couldn't believe that he was that out of it to ask HER for help.

"Holy shit…how drunk WAS I?" Ichigo questioned morbid fascination. "Was the party even worth it?" Hanataro then gained a faraway look in his eyes along with Soifon and Nemu.

"The party was Mag-fucking-nificent" Hanataro said with a giggle.

"Orgasmic." Nemu said simply.

"Sin given physical form." Soifon stated as she quickly wiped some blood from her nose.

"**Things that should never be done were done…countless times in fact."** Zangetsu said with disturbed whisper. Hanataro shook his head before clearing his throat.

"Anyway…"

**-Flash Back-**

**-The next day Ichigo's Homeroom-**

*SLAM*

"Please oh great Tatsuki I need you to train me again!" Ichigo begged as he kneeled in front of his stunned class mate.

"W-what." Tatsuki stuttered out as she got out of her shock, not if she was hearing the boy right.

"I have a fight tonight and I need to be ready!" Ichigo shouted with his head still down.

"You are strong already you don't need my help." Tatsuki pointed out as she began to walk away.

"I'm weak." Ichigo said seriously making her pause. "Due to certain…circumstances I've had to rely on a weapon lately and I've completely lost my hand to hand skills, if you don't help me Orihime is in grave danger." Ichigo said with his head still down. Feeling a hand on his shoulder he looked up and saw Tatsuki grinning with tears in her eyes.

"You have no idea how long I've waited for this day! Come on Ichigo lets go now." Tatsuki said as she dragged the boy out of the room.

"Where are you two going? School just started!" The teacher yelled at them making Tatsuki turn back to her.

"Sorry, but this is more important we'll be back tomorrow." And with that Tatsuki and Ichigo ran from the room.

**-Later; nearby forest-**

Ichigo watched with apprehension as Tatsuki paced back and forth in front of him

"Okay I'm starting to have second thoughts…" Ichigo began as he took a step back.

"There is no fear in this dojo!"

"We're in a clearing!" Ichigo gaped as she continued pacing.

"There is no mercy in this dojo!"

"_What_ dojo? Take it down a notch-*Bam!*" Ichigo was cut off as he got a foot to the face courtesy of an irate Tatsuki.

"No mercy!"

"**What did you get yourself in to?"**

**BGM: Eye of the Tiger**

"Five hundred laps, now!" Tatsuki ordered making Ichigo twitch. In his Shinigami form that would be no problem, but he was in his regular body now.

"Isn't that a little extreme-*Bam*" Ichigo went flying across the forest floor as he was kicked in the face again.

"Now maggot!" And with that Ichigo began to run.

**-Later-**

"Three hundred and two." Tatsuki counted as she sat on Ichigo's back while he did pushups.

"My arms!" Ichigo cried out in pain.

**-Later; waterfall-**

Ichigo gaped as he found himself on top of a waterfall while Tatsuki crossed her arms behind him.

"I'll die, you psycho bitch!"

"No fear!" Tatsuki shouted before kicking him off the mountain.

**-Later; Local hot springs-women side-**

Tatsuki sat back in the water and relaxed as Ichigo found himself holding his breath underwater.

"Time to test your evasion skills!" Tatsuki said before pulling Ichigo from underneath the water. She delivered a powerful slap to his face before pointing at him.

"EEK PERVERT!" Tatsuki shouted as every woman in the springs glared at the boy.

"Oh shit!" Ichigo shouted as he tried to run out the springs, while twenty women chased him.

**-Later-**

Ichigo and Tatsuki watched the crowded streets as cars flew by going well over the speed limit.

"Umm Tatsuki…"

"If you can dodge traffic you can dodge a punch!" And with that little tidbit of advice Tatsuki proceeded to Sparta kick Ichigo in to traffic with absolutely no remorse.

**-Later; Sunset at a nearby Lake front-**

Ichigo and Tatsuki were trading blows when finally Ichigo delivered a vicious right in to Tatsuki abdomen, pushing her back. She grabbed him as she fell bringing him down with her.

**BGM: END**

"You're ready." Tatsuki gasped tiredly with a grin. Ichigo smiled as he looked at her then as if some unknown message appeared between them Ichigo and Tatsuki found their selves in a passionate lip lock. Ichigo lowered his hand to Tatsuki's skirt where he then proceeded to-

**-Present-**

"Pause!" Ichigo whispered harshly as he put his hands in a time out position. "You mean to tell me I made it with Tatsuki?" His face was burning as he looked at the medic with wide eyes.

"Yup."

"And you somehow know every detail of the encounter?" Hanataro shrugged and pulled out a note book. He then flipped through it and looked at Ichigo with his best poker face.

"Right down to the measurements." Hanataro raised a hand to silence Ichigo when he saw the young man open his mouth. "Don't think about it or you'll just give yourself a migraine. Now on to the Grimmjow fight…"

**-Flash Back-**

That night, a Blue haired espada stood above the city with his hands in his pockets.

"Time to mess some shit up." Grimmjow said nonchalantly, but before he could begin he felt a surge of Reiatsu to the east of the city. Grinning to his self the Arrancar shot forward to the source. "Well maybe this won't be so boring after all."

**-one minute later-**

Grimmjow followed the source to the top of a large building where to his surprise he found Ichigo waiting for him.

"You finally arrived huh?" Ichigo said bored making Grimmjow smirk.

"Well, you are brave aren't you." Grimmjow asked as he placed a hand on his sword. Ichigo did the same, but to both Grimmjow's and Zangetu's surprise he stabbed the giant blade in to the ground.

"**What..."**

"We could spend the entire night fighting each other with flashy moves all day, or we could settle this like men." And with that Ichigo throw off his robes revealing a pair of black and white shorts with the word "Ichigo' in bright orange on the waistband. Ichigo's hands were covered in bandages he had on no shirt and he was wearing a pair of black sneakers. Putting a hand on his face Ichigo summoned his hollow mask.

"This should be interesting." Grimmjow said as he tossed his sword to the side and began hopping from foot to foot. "Let's see what you got." The two glared at each other before, by some unknown signal they charged at each other."

**BGM: Rocky theme (Gonna fly now)**

Grimmjow dodged a vicious right before returning with a left hook. Ichigo side stepped the attack and went on the offensive. With a quick left jab he knocked Grimmjow's head to the left before landing two devastating blows to the Arrancar's stomach. Grimmjow spit up blood before sending a kick to Ichigo's head which was barely blocked, but the force of the blow sent Ichigo back to the roof of the building.

"Take this!" Grimmjow shouted as he launched at Ichigo in full speed. Ichigo grunted before delivering a roundhouse kick in to Grimmjow's face sending the espada staggering back.

"**Eat it!**" Ichigo growled as he rushed the downed Arrancar with his left arm cocked back, but before he could land the blow he was forced to dodge a barrage of fists.

"Haha! Now this is fun!" Grimmjow yelled before he was punched in the face sending him flying across the roof top.

"**I can't lose!"** Ichigo said as he had a flashback of when Grimmjow made him look like a complete bitch. "**My reputation is on the line!"** Ichigo shouted as he ran at the sixth espada, who in return charge back.

"That hurt you bastard!" Grimmjow yelled as sent a punch at Ichigo's face causing a crack to appear on the mask.

"**It's supposed to!" **Ichigo shouted as he released a punch that sent Grimmjow in to a nearby wall Ichigo then followed up with a barrage of punches that all connected while the espada was against the wall.

**Grimmjow POV**

As I was getting hit by all of these punches I couldn't help but wonder if this was the limit to my power. Why was I, who exists at the top of the food chain, being defeated by this boy? Every punch he sent me reminded me of what I have done to reach where I am today, all of the prey I deemed as weak that I have killed.

Was this as far as their lives could take me? I frowned as I caught the next fist.

No

I would not be defeated like this! And with my faith in my abilities renewed I grabbed the boys head, and kneed him with all of my power in his face, shattering half of the kids mask and sending him flying across the rooftop. Good it ended I'll finish this fight now. As I stalked across the building I saw the boy begin to stand up much to my shock.

What was he? Why did he fight?

"Come on Ichigo you can do it!" Turning to the voice I found a petite black haired Shinigami yelling at the boy with tears in her eyes.

"You got this Ichigo." Behind her was the one of the largest humans I have ever seen and next to him was one of the bustiest.

"Come on Kurosaki-kun!"

"Don't you dare lose Kurosaki!" A girl with glasses said as they watched their comrade stand up. What was this? Was this his pack? This must be what he fights for. Suddenly I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach.

Something to fight for.

What did I have to fight for?

I felt a since of dread as I realized the answer to my question.

Nothing

I could only watch paralyzed as the boy charge at me in rage as the rest of his mask shattered. Was it all a waste after all? I'll know after this, after all fighting for yourself is the true key to power…other

Right?

I charged forward and we both met in the center of the roof Time seemed to stop for a second as we each glared at each other companionship versus solitude. And as quickly as time stopped, it resumed and we both dealt powerful blows to each other's face. My head felt like it exploded but instead of sailing back I just slumped to the ground. I expected the boy to follow me but he stayed standing, much to my disbelief.

Well fuck, my decisions in life were wrong.

How about that? I chuckled as darkness overcame me.

**Ichigo POV**

"I won…?" I gaped at the fallen espada for a second before raising my fist to the sky. "I WON!"

**BGM: END**

**Trophy Unlocked: The Contender**

**Beat Grimmjow in a fist fight.**

**+ 100% melee damage to all members of the party.**

**-Present-**

**General POV**

"So I did it after all." Ichigo said with a smile making Hanataro.

"Yes you did and I had never been more proud of you when I was told." Hanataro making Ichigo turn away. "Ichigo…"

**BGM: Careless whisper**

"Hanataro…"

"Ichigo…"

"Will you two cut that out!" Soifon whispered harshly as Nemu covered her face again.

**To be continued.**

**Ichigo's drunken misadventures continue in the next chapter of BAKUDO X**

**Read and Review**

**~RebukeX7**


	22. Addressing Concerns

**Addressing Concerns**

**Thanks to a reviewer I've noticed that some people might be curious as to why I write more than one fic instead of focusing entirely on one fic. Well here's the explanation. I'm putting it on this fic since most people would have expected it to be done by now.**

**Problem with Bakudo is that the "Final Arc" is completely throwing me for a loop right now. Sure I might bite the bullet and post a new chapter, but what I try to do with my stories is use strictly canon events and then completely screw with them. **

**Slight spoiler alert. If anyone has read the latest few chapters of Bleach it should come to no surprise that I'm actually stuck for a bit on what to do with both Unohana and Zangetsu. Like for example whether Zangetsu gets repaired or replaced will affect this story majorly I might have to make more ass pulls than Kishimoto to try to work it out.**

**So what do I do?**

**I wait until I have and IDEA of at least what's going to happen. But seeing as that would mean weeks of not updating at points (again really sorry you guys I'll have something up eventually) I start on the next part of LIAG so I can keep the story moving along since they don't intertwine at all.**

**This brings me to Red's LIAG this WILL be the longest fic in the entire series and I mean LONGEST (If something comes after black and white it can fuck itself) this will be going through ALL of the current regions so I'm addressing each region as a different story. The first 'part' of Red is actually almost complete. The first part is all I need to have finished for me to begin working on Judgment Day. With the remainder of Bakudo being a giant drunken incident I don't really need to have it complete to begin it.**

**This brings me to ANOTHER possible concern. Naruto, Mass Effect, Bleach, Red are all the stories that happen before the large crossover event. So if I'm making another story guess what guys? My legacy DOESN'T END with Judgment day muahahah -lightning crash-**

**The purpose of my series is to show various batshit insane scenarios that could potentially inspire NEW ideas for people to write about and remove so many current cliché's.**

**Come on a good amount of my Naruto pairings we're literally the first time anyone's even attempted it. Hopefully more of those pairings can be used by others to show off the variety of writing skill I KNOW you all have. I had NO idea I had a passion for writing (I'm even about to write my own novel) until I decided to try. I still have my first story up on my profile to show me what NOT to do in a fanfic, but the point is I tried…got flamed…made some renovations and now I love my work. If one person keeps reading my stories then I'll still write them.**

**Now as to why I decided to add more fics. We ALL know that infamous 2 month period when I updated nothing, well with this recent poll I updated SEVEN stories in ONE week. This showed me that if I keep a variety in my work it won't feel like a chore and I can at least entertain SOMEONE when I hit writer's block.**

**Like I said this is my second story and I apologize if it feels like I've been neglecting it and I will try to update it if I can. My entire LIAG series is MASSIVE so I like to do it in parts, once completed it will blow your fucking minds! But I also write them to be read separately because one; nobody is going to be a fan of all fandoms I write about and two it can still be an entertaining story for those who just want a little laugh.**

**You guys are awesome I have people offering to help me write some of my fics daily and Some are even doing ENTIRE sections with me.**

**117Jorn if you are reading this not only do you kick major ass for doing Mass Effect but you also brought lemons in to this story! (The first ever LIAG lemon is in his mass Effect Fic)**

**Deveus the knowledge seeker and Ryuus2 you two are helping these stories more than you realize and I appreciate it**

**AJLexie thanks for the fanart…which I have to post one of these days and if you have free time I'll like to make a few more requests.**

**Invizabledragon thanks for the laughs bro! And finally**

**Zaralaan, Harlequin320, Malix2 (If I missed anyone or you changed pen names…my bad) You all have been there since the beginning you all kick ass.**

**Tis' the season of giving so I'm giving you all my thanks. As a former plain old reviewer to an Author with a fanbase I can tell you all (Reviewers old and new) that it is appreciated. You guys write the story with your reviews I just put it legibly (if my spell check works) on paper.**

**Thank you ALL for everything.**

**And have a merry Christmas or happy holidays whichever floats y'all boats/**

**PS. Rebuffs backstory will be in an omake of the next Bakudo**

**~RebukeX7**


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